I’ve got some extended Fourth of July plans so there probably won’t be any new posts until Wednesday. If Paris Hilton adopts a baby or Britney Spears accidentally runs over Sean Preston with a lawn mower I’ll try to cover it, but odds are I’ll be too drunk to even remember what a Sean Preston is. And I couldn’t decide between putting up a picture of fireworks or the American flag so I just went with a shot of New York being blown up by a giant space ship.
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Gisele Bundchen Speaks Out After Her Latest Controversy – Lainey Gossip |
 Lady Gaga Reveals Her Eating Disorder – Huffington Post | |
| Naomi Campbell sexy new photoshoot. – Fox News | |
| Vanessa Hudgens Falls Out Of Her Shirt – Popoholic | |
| Celebrities' Real Names Exposed – Newser | |
| No bras here. – The Chive |
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Jennifer Lopez Smacks Marc Anthony On Camera (VIDEO) |
Kissing Connection: Justin Bieber's Past & Present Loves (VIDEO) |
Kristen Stewart's Movie Roles Through the Years (PHOTOS) |
Adam Levine Signs 'Glee' Guy to New Label, Poses For Terry Richardson (PHOTOS) |
Camila Alves Flashes Engagement Ring, Talks Wedding Plans (PHOTOS) |
'Madly in Love' Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Hang Tight in Los Angeles |
LB | July 3, 2006 at 8:50 am
So we’ll be hearing from you then.
criscodisco | July 3, 2006 at 9:02 am
Well then you’ve pretty much guaranteed that she’ll drop Sean Preston 2 out of the lawn and K-Fed will throw a Black Cat at it.
Toonlite | July 3, 2006 at 9:16 am
HAPPY FOURTH BITCHES!!
ruyukyo | July 3, 2006 at 9:18 am
yea, what about lindsay when she has to be admitted into A&E for stage 5 AIDS? if there’s such a thing, that is.
ruyukyo | July 3, 2006 at 9:19 am
its independence day there huh? cool . youth day in singapore. We all get holidays!
sweetcheeks | July 3, 2006 at 9:29 am
Come celebrate your independence on Spank Cheeks! Included: one super-hot shot of Lindsay Lohan in a bikini. YOWZA! Price: $56 dollars American, made payable to “Sweet P. Cheeks, esquire.” I’ll also accept a mostly-full bottle of Jim Beam.
jazz.dumott.schunard | July 3, 2006 at 9:31 am
But what else will I read?
haha.
Binky | July 3, 2006 at 9:36 am
Happy Fourth Neighbors !
NickUK | July 3, 2006 at 9:44 am
hey guys. Happy independence day from the UK, my first posting here. Love general bitchiness, but isnt wishing someone to be HIV positive crossing the limit a bit? and no, there isnt a stage 5, once you reach the actual AIDS stage there is just that, and then you die, and its horribe, I have seen it first hand myself.
coolnina97 | July 3, 2006 at 9:50 am
What, no cover while you’re away? Man, you guys need to step up your advertising and hire some more staff. Who’se stuff will I rip off for my own blog in your absence??? Agghhh – I’m sensing an anxiety attack coming on …
coolnina97 | July 3, 2006 at 9:51 am
What, no cover while you’re away? Man, you guys need to step up your advertising and hire some more staff. Who’se stuff will I rip off for my own blog in your absence??? Agghhh – I’m sensing an anxiety attack coming on …
jayen | July 3, 2006 at 9:52 am
Thanks #9! We all needed to be reminded to get in the party mood!
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | July 3, 2006 at 9:54 am
What about poor people who have to work during the holidays? What are we supposed to do? Work?! Hands shaking…. vision… getting blurry… must… chew off… own leg… for… some… reason…
jojo84 | July 3, 2006 at 10:20 am
Yeah it’s a good thing #9 isn’t a downer or anything, he’s just lucky I’m at work…where I’m not allowed to laugh…and think about how funny the 5 stages of AIDS are.
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 10:32 am
yes! Detonating tons of explosives over throngs of drunk and sunburned revelers!!! ONLY IN AMERICA, BABY! I particularly like this time of year for all the warning stories on the news that show mannequins getting blasted by cherry bombs.
Hope Italy beats the Krauts tomorrow! :)
Pat | July 3, 2006 at 10:36 am
Welcome to Earf!
tarjamarja | July 3, 2006 at 10:42 am
Happy 4th of July to all the Americans reading this! :)
Jacq | July 3, 2006 at 10:44 am
Happy mutha-fuckin’ Birthday, America! I would enjoy the holiday, but I don’t drink so the fact that it is on a Tuesday actually pisses me off ’cause I’m still at work this morning.
Osh, can I have your leg when you’re done? I want to make a lamp out of it.
HolisticWisdomcom | July 3, 2006 at 11:03 am
Independent of horribly surface gossip and sarcastic remarks? My god what is a girl to do! Good thing I have my Fukuoku 9000 for entertainment.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | July 3, 2006 at 11:05 am
18 – Yes, it would be just like that lamp from “A Christmas Story”, only mine would never break, no matter how bitchy your jealous bitch of a wife is.
jane's eyre | July 3, 2006 at 11:18 am
I think we should celebrate the 4th by strapping lamebananas to a “firecracker” (and when I say “firecracker” I mean a long-range missile), and launching him over to Iraq.
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 11:23 am
I wonder how hotplateface will be celebrating?
Italian Stallion | July 3, 2006 at 11:25 am
@18 Who needs to make lamps when you can make a bong?
http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/9447058/detail.html
fro0ty | July 3, 2006 at 11:38 am
Happy Independence Day! haha
http://www.playpacman.net
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 11:39 am
You MUST go to msnbc.com and read The Scoop story about Lindsay Hohan. First, the picture of her is from the event that she went to last week-the one where she has on the white satin jacket and the garrish red lipstick. Well, this picture on msnbc must be at the last-call part of the night. Second, Hohan claims she’s never “tried” cocaine.
sharkbite | July 3, 2006 at 11:45 am
At least you’re not spending the whole 4th weekend (Friday through Tuesday) with your family.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
TAD | July 3, 2006 at 11:47 am
I think the odds of Britney running over her son with a lawn mower before July 5th are pretty high.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | July 3, 2006 at 11:47 am
25 – She looks like she’s been smoking out of that corpse head.
TaiTai | July 3, 2006 at 11:52 am
@21 that could be pretty dangerous because I am pretty sure the Iraqis would send him/her back and then we would have splattered banana all over us. Then again there are worse things I guess.
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 11:55 am
28-I can’t remember, but doesn’t this totally contradict what she said in VF? She looks mighty used up in this picture.
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 11:58 am
@22: Ha! Three days later and you’re still talking about me. What a loser! Don’t you have anything better to do than come on here and “pretend” you have actual, real friends?
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:05 pm
@22: Ha! Three days later and I’m still masturbating obsessively. I’m such a loser! Don’t I have anything better to do than come on here and “spew” at my actual, real enemies?
jane's eyre | July 3, 2006 at 12:06 pm
25
I like how she says that she’d never do drugs because she saw how it tore her parents apart.
That’s kind of like when Angelina said she’d never have an affair with a married man, because her father did it to her mother, and she’d never want to put anyone through that.
*sneeze*hypocrite!
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 12:07 pm
well, it’s really only the true jack-offs that we have an intense dislike for, the assclowns that took a real beating or emotionally disturbed homeschooled cocksuckers that we remember, and that’s why we’re still talking about you…you met all the criteria.
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 12:09 pm
–oops–my comments in 35 were directed to 33, the little maggot who likes to have his/her face get shit upon!
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 12:11 pm
And I love scat. Love it, I say.
If I do you will you do me next? Please?
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:13 pm
@33 IS NOT ME! Some asshole is using my identity!!!
And you all call me a snot-nosed teenager. What a bunch of losers…
TrannyGranny | July 3, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Independance day is tomorrow, and thank you.
Today is:
Happy Jim Morrison is DEAD Day!
and
Happy Thurston Howell the 3rd is also Dead Day!
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 12:13 pm
34–do celebrities forget that they make statements and that those statements are documented? I sware, they’re just a bunch of blathering monsters that talk for the sake of hearing themselves talk.
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 12:15 pm
that’s weird, 37 isn’t me. hmmm….. how’d that happen?
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:15 pm
And what is wrong with being homeschooled? Talk about being prejudiced! I knew a GED would be more acceptable on this site.
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:16 pm
And I am not snot-nosed, that’s smegma from jrzmommy’s rancid clit. Damn, bitch! Don’t you ever wash that thing?
guest1234567 | July 3, 2006 at 12:18 pm
Everybody can go home early today. Tell your bosses I said it was OK.
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:20 pm
@43: Who are you fake hotplateface?!?!?!?
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:23 pm
And can I get a tissue for my nose? Damn!
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | July 3, 2006 at 12:24 pm
So… many… stolen identities… must… eat own face… in… despair…
By the way, today is also My Goldfish is Dead Day, and my Grandma is Dead Day. Huzzah!
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:32 pm
This site is so lame… I can’t believe someone can use the SAME log in name and act like a dickamillion.
TrannyGranny | July 3, 2006 at 12:35 pm
47 Osh;
That was a wonderful service for the fish; Did you ever unclog the toilet from flushing Grandma?
jrzmommy | July 3, 2006 at 12:35 pm
seriously, what the fuck is up with someone signing in as other people and posting comments under other people’s name. That’s wrong.
hotplateface | July 3, 2006 at 12:39 pm
… especially since I am such an accomplished dickamillion. There is really no need.
So, let’s kiss and make up, jrzmommy, after I find the damn mouth wash, …