The Superficial Botox Contest: And the winner is…

December 3rd, 2008 // 86 Comments

After two days of deliberating, it became clear from the get-go that one caption – How do I put this? – basically schooled all your asses. And, with that, I’m proud to present you the winning entry in The Superficial Wants to Botox You in the Face Contest from Kiki in Palm Harbor, Florida:

“Move your head, bitch. You’re blockin’ my upskirt.”

Nice. Thanks again, to everybody who participated. It truly is an honor being able to reach out to my readers – and inject them in the face with Botox. Now I know what Superman must feel like. Congratulations, Kiki!

Photo: Flynet

  1. Particle)Man


  2. Erica

    Congrats Kiki!

  3. Kiki

    I won! Wheee!!

  4. Kiki is an ugly fat slut.

  5. havoc

    LOL! Yeah, that was a good one…..



  6. Deacon Jones


  7. VanillaFace

    FUCK!! I needed that botox. can we go half and half on it kiki?

  8. lulu

    I personally liked “Nothing tickles more… than crabs on your thighs” the best :) it definitely made me lol. but congrats to kiki

  9. Pixie

    Gratz Kiki! Yeah I read the comments because I was bored, and I saw Kiki’s which I thought was mildly witty. The rest were just sad. Like they were written by a bunch of 12 year olds with all the fart/dick jokes.

  10. ipa

    i’m speechless.

    i don’t know what to say.

    i went over to IWS to read the entries for the monty python contest. i expected the same uninspired, lame ass utter BS like for this friggin botox contest. however … the entries at IWS are so full of fun, proving humor and wit and a sense for the funny … amazing. i’m truly impressed.

    so in conclusion, fish readers are ugly wrinkled dumbfucks in dire need for botox. IWS readers are clever, smart, funny and beautiful people.

  11. Mr. McCuntlipz

    i would say congrats but im taking a shit and its hard to talk while i am straining this hard

  12. VanillaFace


    Mine was genious . . . calling it a work of art would be an understatement. . . (sigh) I don’t remember what i wrote . . . couldn’t have been that bad.

  13. Kiki’s upskirt looks like a sharpee’s neck.

  14. carnie

    Why can’t I get past the second page on the site? It keeps tossing me back to the first page instead of moving on.

  15. mi

    why can’t i still not view the 3rd page of this site?? fix it NOW.

  16. toolboy

    Good one…..

  17. mi

    EXACTLY carnie. i mentioned this on the brad pitt post but they ignored me!

  18. Jesse


    As hypocritical as it may sound, you can’t really expect much from a lot of the people that come to this site. I was actually surprised that The Superficial even expected to get anything even remotely witty and/or funny out of these people.

  19. Jane

    I didn’t find that funny at all.

  20. Christina

    What does it mean? I am being serious here too, not trying to knock Kiki. Can somebody explain why this is funny?

  21. Christina

    What does it mean? I am being serious here too, not trying to knock Kiki. Can somebody explain why this is funny?

  22. Uncle Eccoli

    Well done, Kiki!

  23. Pathetic Worm

    “Up the bum, no babies”


  24. Ahahaha! I love the caption! very inspired, perfect!

  25. Christina

    Nevermind. I googled upskirt. Now it’s funny.

  26. hisfavbrunette

    christina….i agree with you. seriously, not knocking you kiki and im jealous you get free botox…..but i really dont get it :( i laughed, but im not really sure if i knew what i was laughing at…..congrats anyway though!!!!

  27. hisfavbrunette

    oh and please dont let someone inject motor oil in your face!!!!!!! seriously.

  28. Emma

    oh, please. who ever is knocking people for reading this site needs to buzz off. Don’t act like you’re so holier than thou that you can’t just accept the fact that people enjoy satirical writing about celebrities. You’re obviously on this site just like the rest of us. So, for all of our sake’s, just keep your mouth shut.

    And, Congratulations, Kiki :]

  29. Rick

    suck it, Enema

  30. Wrinkly Stiltskin

    I can’t believe everyone is being a good sport about losing…its like opposite day on xanex…cause damn I really wanted to win. My skin’s like a sidewalk – my cracks are whack, yo!

  31. Sid

    Good job Kiki. Your prize is a free temporary membership at Tall mingle. com

  32. alex reager

    My late entry is, “Can you believe they pay me to fart on these seats???”

  33. adonistic

    Congrats Kiki, you wild woman!

  34. Me

    Why can’t I see the pics on the site today?

  35. Congrats! If you can make a comment that is not only funny but true – you deserve to win!

  36. Martha Stewart

    @ #30

    Guess you’ll just have to inject your forehead with that leftover Turkey marinade instead now….I’d just stay away from the Cajun flavor, it’d be a real stinker if you sweat alot

  37. I’m just jazzed one of the only 2 comments that were funny won!!!


  38. Randal

    It looks like we have our own little celebrity here at The FISH in Kiki, who I’m sure we’ll start to see more of now, not only as the original but with the trolls too. Perhaps you could send in a before and after photo of yourself for The FISH to report on, Kiki, so we can try and figure out where you used your supply of botox on.

    May the smile on your face be felt by all today. Congratulations again!


  39. Kahlee

    @37 which was the other funny one??? I didn’t think there were any.

  40. Christina

    Emma, you’re a smelly cunt.

  41. Christina

    Emma. I’m sorry that was mean. My mother told me not to tease fat retards.

  42. Camel

    OMG Snap! Christina ftw!

  43. Mike

    It is not that funny. Is Kiki blowing the fish dude? Maybe with those big puffy lips, she will be able to get some suction around the Fish’s little dick.

  44. oh man! thats B.S. I go robbed!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. PunkA

    Good luck with the botox, Kiki. Please submit some before and after photos for our enjoyment…

  46. I called it the moment i saw it, she was good! pure luck though…

    Superfish should post the runner ups!

  47. Something like a phenomenon

    oh yea kiki, a real congratufugulations…keep up the good work so you may eventually botox yourself to look like – let’s say Wayne Newton’s younger sister, Melanie Griffith’s sister, Cher’s girlfriend, Meg Ryan’s stunt double, Carrot Top’s friend with no benefits….to name a few – whoo hoo

    Hey, $500 bucks goes a long way with a pseudo Mexicano doctor

    Hugs xoxo!!

  48. Mike

    @38 Randal, could you have your face any further up Kiki’s ass? Are you hoping for an after Botox BJ?

  49. Thank GOD you got rid of that blue bad girls background bullshit
    I hated it sooooooo much
    thanks for returning to a non obnoxious format
    am glad i don’t have to quit visiting after all

  50. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now? ?????????????????

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