The Spice Girls keep things ‘sisterly’ and not ‘lesbiany’

The Spice Girls in defiance of all logic and reason have been on a comeback tour. They appeared at the 12th Victoria’s Secret Fashion show and had a concert in L.A. on Wednesday where they spoke to FOX News about their strictly “sisterly” love:

On being back together:
“All of us together again, it is like a marriage,” Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell told us. “You just learn to understand each other, celebrate the differences.”

On what goes down behind closed doors:
“We don’t fight and we don’t share clothes,” Melanie “Scary” Brown said. “And we don’t sleep together.”

On Scary Spice’s attempts to lesbi-fy things:
“She has tried it on us though,” Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham told Pop Tarts while pointing at Scary with arms entwined around Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton. “I’ve had to say ‘no’ so many times.”

On Geri Halliwell and I’s mutual obsession:
“I mean, could you imagine waking up to this (points to Scary’s body) every day of your life?” Geri laughed. “I just can’t stop staring at your boobs…”

I dream about the Spice Girl’s having lesbian orgies all the time. I mean, who doesn’t? In my fantasy Baby Spice just pulled off Posh Spice’s plastic head which upsets Ginger Spice causing her sick man abs to glow fire red. Ginger decides to Tae Bo Baby in the face then they make up by massaging each other inside a tank filled with pudding. But don’t think I left out Scary and Sporty Spice. Those two are having a kinky pillow fight over who gets to vacuum my apartment. I never really got to find out who wins because some idiot wanted to use the copier room to actually make copies. Then he had the nerve to ask me where my pants were. It’s none of your beeswax, Mr. CEO of the company.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin