The Spice Girls back together

June 28th, 2007 // 195 Comments
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The Spice Girls officially announced today that all five original members will reunite and perform for 11 concerts around the world in December and January. The concerts will be the first time they’ve performed together since breaking up in 2001, and they’re expected to make about $20 million each. Which is nice, because I think most of them were getting sick of eating cat food and sleeping in dumpsters. Besides Posh, have any of them done anything except become old and unemployed? If this thing falls through I just hope Wal-Mart lets them have their jobs back.

superficial

  1. Frakkin

    First?

  2. joejoe

    it wont last 5 gigs

  3. theshizzler

    Now if only the Backstreet Boys and All-4-One would get back together my life would be complete. And by life I mean personal hell. And by personal hell I mean repressed masturbatory fantasies. :(

  4. jen

    Gross.

  5. joejoe

    Posh looks like she’s already bitching about something

  6. Texas Tranny

    Drag Queens on Tour. I’ll be the first in line.

  7. p911gt10c

    Hey Spice Girls, it’s me, your 15 minutes of fame. Listen, we had a good run there for awhile. I mean, lets face it,you’re a sideshow attraction, a gimmick. Your “music” really didn’t have any meaning and I carried you about as far as I could take you.
    So what I’m saying is…don’t push it. Just take your millions and go spend ‘em. Look at Posh, she’s done well, being famous for no reason at all. Just follow her lead. You’ll never be respected, but people will still wanna take pretty pictures of ya !

  8. Shinanigans

    I wanna go watch Spice World now

  9. Quinn

    Psh used to be hot! Now she looks like a freaky robot woman experiment gone BAD.

  10. Jack Smith

    “Besides Posh, have any of them done anything except become old and unemployed?”

    Yeah Scary did Eddie Murphy.
    And she’s got the kid and the DNA to prove it.

  11. CountDrunkulaXxX

    Whoa! Look in the older picture at Posh’s “peace” sign! Those are HUUUUGE! Ive never seen a peace sign look like that in all of my life.

  12. Shinanigans

    I might add that it’s amazing how Posh’s boobs defy gravity

  13. JC

    i know which one is skanky spice but which one is geriatric spice ?

    their music sucked then as it does now.who the hell are the tards that are going to buy tickets to these old ladies lip syncing on stage ?

  14. Ooba Gooba

    The only decent looking one of the bunch is the blonde.

  15. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Superfish

    i’d hit it…all five of them.

    and if they dont have their jobs at Costco, Baby and Ginger can still wash my car like they’ve been doing for the past ten years

  17. GooniesNeverSayDie

    based on the before and after pics, here is what they have all been doing:

    Posh: has been getting breast implants
    Sporty: eating at Taco Bell and growing her bangs
    Ginger: rented Anne of Green Gables and then joined a polygamous colony
    Baby: finally accepted her receding hairline
    Scary: slept with Eddie Murphy, took out her tongue ring

  18. lambman

    Everybody but Posh looks better now…Posh was way hot back then, I don’t know what she is now.

    But the rest look great, and I for one think this will either be entertaining or a hilarious trainwreck either way we win!

  19. maeby

    # 10 “Besides Posh, have any of them done anything except become old and unemployed”

    I was not aware that Posh “did anything” except throw up her food, and practice her constipation faces.

  20. bill

    LET THE RENAMING BEGIN!!!!!!
    Posh Spice -> Sith Lord Spice
    Scary -> Eddie Murphy’s Baby Momma Spice
    Baby -> Busty
    Sporty -> Slinky
    Ginger -> Hippy/Easy

  21. steve

    Which one is “OLD Spice”?

    I make me laugh.

  22. veggi

    @3- NIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!

  23. steve

    Which one is “OLD Spice”?

    I make me laugh.

  24. omg i am scared.
    although emma does look hotter.
    victoria’s boobs look awful

  25. Cracka

    Isnt that one of the signs that the world will soon end?

  26. DancingQueen

    Barf.

  27. maeby

    that comment was directed toward the superficial- not # 10

  28. RichPort

    One skinny girl and four chubbers… they look like the number 10000.

  29. CountDrunkulaXxX

    wow is it just me or is the formerlly ugliest spice girl (SPORTY) kinda like, the hottest one now?? Weird. Id hit that.

  30. Fiddlesticks

    Did anybody fucking ask for this.. I mean seriously!! Anybody?? Anybody who did should be dragged out into the street and shot

  31. lambman

    “Besides Posh, have any of them done anything except become old and unemployed?”

    since when is marrying a pro-athelete an accomplishment? Posh has done the least since they broke up. They others have all had multiple solo albums, Ginger and Baby are both fairly popular as pop stars in the UK and Sporty is pretty big on the techno scene

  32. Danielle

    WTF happened to Geri??

    She looks like she got attacked by a cast memember of “Little House on the Prarie”

    The other three humans look fine. Especially Mel aka Scary Spice.

    Posh on the other hand needs to be thrown a sandwich. Her “makers” from Planet Bonesville need to drag her ass back and downgrade those watermelons and that protruding collarbone.

  33. Jose

    Lets break it down 20 mil times 5 equals 100 million. Divide that by 19 shows that means over 5 million a show. Even if they get 80,000 a show, which does not look likely, maybe at their peak in 1996.That means the tickets would have to be $75 just to pay them, not including the cost that comes with touring expenses. Not buting it. Remember when ABBA was going to get 1 billion for 100 shows? do the math

  34. john

    none of them have done anything….posh married a horribly overrated soccer player and scary got a kid from sleazeball eddie murphy

  35. Danklin24

    Spory is still the hottest one. My god could Victoria’s neck be any longer? She looks like a giraffe.

  36. Kamiki

    WHAT the Feck has Posh Spice done then? besides marrying a rich footballer?? She’s done nothing and had no success at being anything other than Mrs David Beckham.

  37. Victoria Blechem looks like an animatronic love-doll that is running low on oil.

  38. Leo

    Victoria Beckham must have ran out of plastic surgery money. She looks AWFUL! It looks like the skin on her chest is going to rip. I much prefer the natural look she started off with.

  39. i hate posh so much!!!! the good thing is that all their fans have grown and might be listening to some good music now like britney´s, oh wait.
    jeezzzz visctoria is really UGLY, did you notice that shes the only one who never sings alone???

  40. jbird

    #33 – I am certain the overall figure was taking into account ALL sources of revenue (movie/broadcast rights, endorsements, live CDs, etc). If there’s enough buzz coming from this, sponsors will be willing to pay big bucks to have their product names associated with the tour.

  41. One of the spice girls, I think it is “Bitter Spice” did accomplish something. She is having Eddie Murphy’s lust child!

  42. Corrin

    Actually, all of them have side projects. Sporty is still making music.

  43. kim kimo

    spice girls are back..
    but should i call that spicy?
    I Don’t Think So..

  44. Kamiki

    Emma – Baby is still singing too had some success here in the UK, had a baby of her own though too.

  45. duh!

    Victoria’s boobs aren’t real at all. I don’t mean “she got a boob job” or implants. I mean like they are actually sculpted out of plastic and attached to the outside of ther chest with double sided tape or something. I’ve heard of helmet head, but helmet boobs?

  46. erica

    Melanie C has a quite successful solo career. She just released her 4th album.

  47. log

    worst breasts in history.

  48. bungoone

    36, even that’s a stretch. didn’t he cheat on her multiple times?

    that bitch is going to collapse on stage during soundcheck of the first concert. you can tell she’s completely disgusted having to stand next to those ‘regular sized’ women.

    scary is still that, scary. the others don’t look too bad.

  49. mafme

    It looks like they all grew up– ‘cept for vicky… why does she take herself so seriously? Doesn’t she know that she’s the only one?

  50. Sydney Bristol

    Posh looks like the bad guy’s girlfriend in a direct-to-video Dolph Lundgren movie. She’s ruthless and is an expert with a particular weapon, say… throwing knives. After sustaining a bad injury from her, Dolph quickly recovers and throws her off a building… one can dream, can’t one?

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