The mystery that is Fergie

January 23rd, 2006 // 102 Comments
*fergie5.jpg

Here’s Fergie in a picture that will either turn you on or terrify you. Likely both. It’s like having a picture of Jessica Alba going doggy-style with your Dad; disturbing, yet strangely erotic. Yet disturbing. I’d simply suggest scrolling down so her head disappears.

superficial

  1. DannyJames

    her stomach is reminscient of Tara Reids weirdo belly.

  2. tipsymcstagger

    ummm…if there are 10 million women that want to look like her…we are in a (literal) world of hurt. like yourmomisgay – i don’t think i’m the best looking thing to ever walk the earth but i would NEVER want to look like that. now…angelina jolie…that’s another story.

  3. aura

    comment #50, I agree. Saying “oh you’re just jealous!” is a knee-jerk retaliation and is not exactly a compelling retort. Just because some of us don’t find Fergie attractive, doesn’t mean we’re jealous, it means that Fergie has an ugly man-face.

    And to the poster who keeps saying that she has a better body than Nicole Richie and Britney Spears… better than Nicole Richie, hell yes. But Britney? No. Back in the day when Britney was buff, she had an awesome body. She was fit and muscular but still very feminine and curvy. Of course these days, I’d be happy if she’d just brush her hair lol

  4. ESQ

    Oh, excuse me I suddenly have the urge to urinate now BEFORE I piss my pants.

  5. Sheva

    The rack looks ridiculous. When did she buy those?
    Don’t know what to make of the rest of her. Maybe the natural artist thing is long past for her.

    She’s a mess with the fake boobs and stuff.

  6. Cuore56

    I think Fergie’s body is fine. She’s in shape. What do we really expect-perfection? She’s not fat and she’s not too skinny, she looks healthy. When you lean to 1 side and you have abdominal muscles, that’s what it tends to look like. I’m not a big fan of Fergie because I have no idea what her real musical style is. She was in an all girl group called Wild Orchid & they are just so different from the B.E.P. I’m more upset that she tries to have a street style when she was in a pop group. And now she has a solo album coming out? Yes, she was addicted to meth & I think she’s come pretty far…her face isn’t a 10, but is yours? She looks completely different from back then & her face is looking a little ragged from all the tanning. I don’t know what she’s trying to prove, but her body is the last thing she has to worry about. She dances her ass off on stage!

    http://www.askmen.com/women/singer/15b_wild_orchid.html

  7. HughJorganthethird

    “She is 31 years old… tans too much, so without make up she looks freaky

    I read that she suffered with bulimia and she’s done drugs like crystal meth and ecstacy…”

    Fucking rights! She have a sister?

    And BTW every chick on this site would look freaky without makeup. Bet on it.

  8. ishtar

    just cuz the american idol judges cant sing doesnt mean they cant judge well…same goes for this site…u dont have to be amazingly hot or hotter than the celebrities on this site to make fun of them- thats whats so fun about it. #50, 52 and 53, no need to excuse urselves. just say ‘fergie is ugly’ and leave it at that! :)

  9. mrschickee

    Does anyone remember when she was on Kids Incorporated? She was so cute then. Just goes to show how meth can f*** you up.

  10. funkygoldmedallions

    My Dumps … My Dumps … My lovely lady dumps. Check ‘em out! Actually, body is a 10. Face is a 4. Total boner score = 14. A 14 is good for doggy, reverse cowgirl, and side saddle. so yes, I guess I would “do” her.

  11. HollyJ

    She looks GOOD to be 64 years old!

  12. Spacedog

    Yum. She looks wild. Stripper hot. Spacedog likes her earthly delights and would just be trying to hold on for dear life.

  13. Fake tits and fake tan, a definite minus. Fergie is a mystery to me, as sometimes I am attracted to her, other times not so much. This pic, yeah she looks good except for the two previously stated points.

  14. Chicks with stab wound scars turn me on.

  15. eringirl

    Hold on on the “not a manufactured product” talk. BEP had produced more albums pre-Fergie than post Fergie. She was added in a record label maneuver to make both the peas and Fergie profitable to them… the Pea’s recoupable was forgiven by the label on the condition they add her to the band and it took care of their obligation to Fergie – whose solo project was so poor, they didn’t know what to do.

  16. Dee

    Has anyone seen the before/after plastic surgery pics of Fergie? In a million years I wouldnt have recgnized her-she has totally changed her face. It’s a shame such a young girl felt the pressure to do that.

    That said, she’s definately a beautiful girl, it’s just a matter of if her style of dress and HUGE amounts of makeup are your taste. But I guess thats what shes going for.

  17. Dee

    By the way, the surgery pics were run by STAR magazine, they are somewhere on the net.

  18. Miss Skyline

    Wow, her stomach looks extremely disgusting. She really does look like a Barbie doll in a swimsuit.

  19. BrendaPayne

    I’d pay good money to bury my face in those big luscious tits! Then I’d make her smash them against mine to make a tit sandwich.

  20. September_bebe

    woooah, what IS that?

  21. shopaholic197

    I saw other pictures of her in the bikini (omg. I look at too many celeb gossip sites.) ANYWAYS, her stomache looks a lot more normal in those pics, so this one was obvi a bad angle or she was flexing a weird muscle. I think she’s pretty in a different way. Whatever- I just wish I could dance like her- damn!

  22. To be honest, that’s probably the best picture she’s ever taken. And that’s saying alot, because she normally looks very questionable (aka scary), and not only in the realm of style.

    To be honest yet again, there might be some that are “jealous” of her figure. I admit to being sort of, kind of, perhaps not really, frankly because normalcy “isn’t good enough” anymore. My thin waist, ample hips, and mouthful tits? Not good enough for mankind, it seems. Stripping down to nearly nothing seems to now be a prerequisite to being a performer these days. What happened to being subtle? What happened to being a woman, and not a 31-year-old parading around like a little girl. . .

  23. slinkhard

    Her face looks like Tori Spelling’s.

  24. CASHIN

    FAKE FACE / BOOBS = GROSS

    AND WHAT’S ALL THE HYPE ABOUT J. ALBA? WITHOUT MAKEUP SHE LOOKS LIKE EVERY AVERAGE HISPANIC CHICK AND HAS AVERAGE BOOBS AT BEST.

  25. Inquintessence

    her stomach is slightly odd but its hardly a huge deformity, she looks better than i do in a bikini so whatever.

  26. supertwink

    75 posts….nice. Fergie really has us commenting. OF COURSE simply not liking her or thinking she is unattractive does not mean you are fat or jealous, but come on. Half of you were flipping out like she was an alien, or had the worst body you ever seen in your life. Puhlease. You are ridiculous.

  27. thatthingisgood

    I’m sorry. I’m not a lesbian. But, Fergie is the most attractive celeb girl out there. Definitely have a girl crush. Don’t understand what anyone could say bad about her. Damn…I mean come on people. Have you seen her dance ….forget about it.

  28. billabong021

    not feelin too attracted by that pic, although the right side of her stomach reminds me of beef jerky for some reason, so now im jst left feelin hungry.

  29. gossipmonger

    http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=735

    in case anyone wants to see the other pics from that photo shoot…

  30. teffi

    Either sombody kicked her ass so hard her spine pokes out her stomach, or SOMBODY’S had too much lipo. Bodily abnormailities aside, IT really needs to finish up the surgeries to turn it into a woman.

  31. happy_bunny

    Jessus H. Willikers!
    “little bit of meat in the center wouldn’t hurt”
    “her only saving grace looks wise was her hard body – looks to be slipping now”
    “her boobs look fake”
    “looks like she has a little bit of scar tissue from liposuction on her left side….”

    How well would any of you whiny little bitches withstand that kind of scrutiny?

  32. Bo_Smith

    #74 Jessica Alba is a monkey! And probably a lesbian too you never hear who she’s dating.

  33. outfile

    i was expecting to see a penis bulge.

  34. sarakai

    she’s a lady, whoa whoa whoa, she’s a lady… hang on a second, whats that dangling between her theighs??? seriously, great singer but she is an absolute mutt!~

  35. DURound

    Ok…. no one is perfect… but you do kinda squint at this picture.

    It’s kinda weird that she has so much defined structure showing EVERYWHERE except where she is supposed to be showing “6-pack abs”. But it looks like a single can or pillow … no definition in the middle. That disparity is odd.

    Also.. Looks like she could use some Bondo right under her left breast to fix that rusted out body panel. Is she missing a part of a rib? Did she get shot there? Bondo and sanding might help that dent right around her right hip too.

    But also.. her surroundings. Is she at a woman’s correctional facility?

  36. slinkhard

    ‘How well would any of you whiny little bitches withstand that kind of scrutiny?’

    By posing in a bikini, she did leave herself open for criticism.

  37. Badass

    Fergie: Untouched. Someone should fire the person in charge of airbrushing the pic, seems like he/she took the day off. Poor girl.

  38. TrueSteelerfan29

    I think everyone here that’s putting Fergie down are all on crack! She’s beautiful with a smokin hott body & it intimidates you, so you have to put her down. I don’t see any of you out there showing off your bodies & thats cuz you have sloppy bodies & r to embarrassed to let others see your “lady lumps” Granted its not a very flattering pic of Fergie but damn, on her worst day she still looks better then you on your best day! She’s hott with a kick ass body so get over it already!

  39. kitty_kat

    Her features are very manish. And she’s obviously had a breast augmentation…

  40. flips712

    I’m confused….she works out hard to get a banging body but then once she develops some muscle people hate on her and call her features man-ish??

    You people hating on Fergie’s body are morons. Working on the perfect six pack abs don’t happen overnight. Abdominal physique develops differently in each person depending on what specific exercises are being done and what area they target.

    And for the record people, Fergie doesn’t have “lumps” as someone called it on her abs. The definition your referring to are called obliques, which are located on your sides.

  41. fergie pussy

    I hope she has got pussy hairys !!!!!!!

  42. I wound like to make a small incision on my dick and use the blood as anal lube to fuck her

  43. dsano

    wat da hell u lot on bout, not every day, u c fergie in a bikini, she fit anywayz, so enjoy instead of ripping her

  44. I agree, she is perplexing in a serious way. She makes it possible for me to think two opposite thoughts at the same time.

  45. Jay

    All these guys talking trash about her side, and forhead and knee’s should shut up, they’d all do her in a heartbeat.

  46. micky

    fucking hell ur all a bunch of gays! u r 2 fussy its the fussy ones that never get the sex haha shes different but still a nice looking girl i wouldnt say no !!!!!

  47. oliver

    You guys make me laugh with your comments non of you would say no even if you had half a chance :-)

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