The mystery that is Fergie

January 23rd, 2006 // 102 Comments
*fergie5.jpg

Here’s Fergie in a picture that will either turn you on or terrify you. Likely both. It’s like having a picture of Jessica Alba going doggy-style with your Dad; disturbing, yet strangely erotic. Yet disturbing. I’d simply suggest scrolling down so her head disappears.

superficial

  1. It looks like she had an appendectomy but the doctors were drunk / didn’t know where the appendix is.

  2. A littel to “bone rack like” for my likings. She is ok looking for sure, but a little bit of meat in the center wouldn’t hurt. The rest of her body is fine. Legs and arms look fine but her mid doesn’t match those.

  3. mrs.t

    manimal. has she always been “female”? she’s also one that really could be any age….25 -65.

  4. Katie

    Totally agree with uncommonamerican….What the hell is wrong with her side?

  5. Larry

    The former Duchess of York has never looked better.

  6. mrs.t

    and what is she wiping off her face/mouth?

  7. frostedface

    her only saving grace looks wise was her hard body – looks to be slipping now.

  8. suzy

    She is 31 years old… tans too much, so without make up she looks freaky

    I read that she suffered with bulimia and she’s done drugs like crystal meth and ecstacy…

    here’s the link
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stacy_Ferguson

    as what is up with her stomach… I don’t know… but it does look weird.. *shrugs*

  9. She has like three knee caps on one leg and a bunch of craters and knots on her stomach. Her lady lumps seem to have spread to other regions of her body.

  10. PapaHotNuts

    I really like her lumps, her lovely lady lumps. And her hump isn’t bad, but the lumps really are the showpiece. I’ve been spending all my money on her, and spending time on her. Those lovely lady lumps.

  11. gossipmonger

    I think that rippling down her side is the result of her sucking in her gut and thats the fat still showing…

  12. MandySmurf

    Whoa, Carrot Top is HOT! Wait, that’s Fergie. My bad.

  13. gferny

    shes a butter face … totally agree with the “The mystery that is Fergie” title.

  14. ESQ

    What is with her hair plastered across her forehead? Her boobs look fake and she does appear to have some freaky lady lumps on the left side of her body. Other than that I think she looks hot even though she pees her pants while on stage in front of hundreds of people.

  15. mrs.t

    Just read that she has had at least two urine- related incidents. Botched sex-change or just keepin it real for her skank-sistah Paris?

  16. Romeo Foxtrot

    for those of you wondering what those things on her side are, they’re called ‘muscles’ and it comes from ‘being fit.’ her head looks fine, you would all bang her so stop pretending like you’re finding things wrong with her

  17. Belle

    What… the hell…. is going on with her stomach? It’s covered in freaking craters and lumps.. She has a horrible fake tan and there appears to be a huge mole on her chin.. Her hair is disgustingly oily and pasted to her forehead.. And the worst part is she’s making a pose as though she is sexy as all hell.

    I don’t know whether to be disgusted or thank her for making me feel good about my own stomach.

  18. rachel

    Compared to Nicole Richie and Britney Spears she has an awesome body.

  19. vanityunfair

    Fergpee can be a bit disturbing at times, but what is really creeping me out is the room she is in. Is it a clinic? A dressing room? A massage parlor? What is behing the curtain…another satisfied customer?

  20. hafaball

    I think her and Tara reid go to the same gym…but she does have a good body. I don;t know what the ten pounds of wrist things are for though :o

  21. SuperSpence

    I’d hit it every day of the week and twice on Sunday. At least once during church.

  22. Devil Is Chrome

    There are so many things wrong with that picture, I can hardly begin…

    FIRE the photographer- everything from the pose to the framing of the subject to the room is terrible.

    Get rid of the wardrobe – looks like grandma knit that bikini.

    Never again see that same plastic surgeon who gave you those breasts.

    Apply a compress of PHOTOSHOP for 10 minutes or until hideousness subsidies.

  23. Populist

    Oh, enough about the peeing incident. I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve gotten onstage drunk and wet myself….

  24. amma

    One thing about Fergie, she’s a musician, not a model. Not an actress. And a musician with a real band in the sense that they didn’t start out as a manufactured product. Years ago, I saw them playing in a little hotel bar in NY, just a gig before they were anyone.
    So, yeah, she’s the chick in the band, of course they are going to market her.
    I think she looks good for a regular girl. A butter face, I agree, but she rocks.

  25. Devil Is Chrome

    amma – I agree with almost everything

  26. amma

    …Her voice is her instrument. She is {whether a good one or bad one is a matter of opinion} a singer.

  27. Elizabeth

    I agree with Romeo Foxtrot. Fergie does have an awesome body. She looks pretty most of the time too…but hey, who doesn’t take a bad pic every once in awhile. We’re so used to seeing these people at red carpet events and in photoshopped pics that when we do see the real thing, we get mean. Give the girl a break.

  28. mariootsa

    someone’s getting a little old for sideways pony tails and friendship bracelets. girl, that shit is AGING YOU!

  29. platinumblonde

    i second that recommendation of scrolling down so her head disappears. she has a sick body, but her face grosses me out 99.9% of the time. i also don’t get her style choices…this bikini, the hair, the bracelets i mean she’s sellin’ it but i’m not buying.

  30. Jayne

    gah her face….ugh
    stretched, stomped on..

    *shudder*

  31. TurndaPaige

    It looks like she has a little bit of scar tissue from liposuction on her left side….

  32. supertwink

    I agree with Romeo….Those things are called “muscles”. Half of you fools wouldn’t know a stomach muscle if it slapped you in the face. You are all soooo jealous it’s sad. Sure, she may not be the prettiest belle at the ball, but whatever. She is physically fit and would kick your ass in a minute. Plus, she is not a model, she’s a funky chick in a band. So, haters, sit on your fat assses at your computer and have another Hostess cupcake.

  33. Jayne

    snap a haterz post.

    little late than usual, I must say.

  34. lola

    Looks like lipo scars to me. They took out too much fat and the skin is too tight.

  35. Skirmish

    Fergie is the hotness.

  36. Torocino

    You people are unreal. You’re telling me that she’s unattractive? You don’t see that rack/ And you’re saying her stomach is nasty? It’s called being in shape you fat bastards. Blind, all of you… I’d kiss every inch of that tight body every damn day.

  37. tipsymcstagger

    yeah…i’m saying that fergie is gross. she is the definition of ‘butterface’. actually – i find her face offensive. she’s got a kick ass body but she’d better keep it up b/c that trainwreck of a mug won’t do it. oh and for the people that still think the black eyed peas are relevant…get a grip. they used to be a great band – but have you listened to ‘my humps’? give me a break. they’ve become a huge joke.

  38. derekd

    All you males that posted here are either gay or seen more pussy than a public bathroom because she looks fuckin’ good. For 31 especially since most women hit the wall at 25. There I said it! I am no way a fan of thier music but I wouldn’t kick her outta bed for eating cookies thats for sure. Real boobies a plus. 7.5 outta 10.

  39. rachel

    I think she’s very pretty in a real world kind of way. She has a beautiful voice and, like I said before, compared to Nicole Richie and Britney Spears she has an awesome body. However, this is a horrible picture in every which way…fire the photographer!

  40. TDubb

    All the comments about the “lumps and dents” on her side are hilarious. It’s called “having body fat less than 10%” and actually being able to see muscles. Talk about the posters giving away hints as to their body-types. She’s not exactly my taste – I don’t consider her face that attractive and I like a little bit more meat like say J. Alba. But I gotta give it to Fergie – she is “professional athlete” fit

  41. Sara=hater

    I’d trade bodies but not faces…you know what is funny? People who call other people fat because we rag on her. IT’S THE POINT OF THIS WEBSITE!!! Go to Fergie’s fansite otherwise.

  42. sammygirl

    Fergie’s body is a bit disjointed, and that’s why people are complaining about it. She has soft curvy hips, but then you see hard 6-pack abs, and then big bazookas, and then a soft face again. It doesn’t flow that well. But having said that, nobody can say she’s gross.

  43. Evangelia

    To all those who say “she’s a musician, not a model”: Since when does being a “musician” require you to pose in a crochet bikini with a ridiculous ponytail on the side of your head? Fergie is virtually inviting people to make comments about her body.

  44. bpfink1

    unless i am nuttz i cant see anything wrong with that stomach it looks like muscles
    that are tight to me plus you know you all would hit that even if you are gay

  45. DannyJames

    she looks fine. celebrities look like normal people when theyre not all airbrushed ya know.

  46. Uh, OK, the pose is a little strange and that’s kind of a funky surgical scar or something she’s sporting, but how many women across America would love to look this good? Me and 10 million others, that’s who. She’s not perfect, but she’s real. I think I’d lose the bracelets, though.

  47. Becca

    She just needs to cut down on the tanning because:

    1. It looks way unnatural
    2. Her skin will eventually get all leathery-like if she keeps at it for a few years
    4. She’ll start to prematurely age
    3. Can anyone say skin cancer?

    I have nothing against tanning, it

  48. PostAcidYouth

    Of course if you don’t find Fergie attractive you must be jealous, you fat ugly people.

    Oh please. There’s not an ounce of femininity about her body, all hard lines and muscles. Add to that a very masculine face and no. No I wouldn’t. Not even with yours.

  49. DannyJames

    did anyone else notice how big her ears are in that pic?

  50. yourmomisgay

    I like how everyone says that anyone who doesn’t think she’s hot is just fat or jealous. Just because YOU’RE fat and jealous, doesn’t mean we are. I swear on my life I’d rather look like ME than her. I’m not saying I’m the prettiest girl in the world, but I for sure look better than this hag.

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