That Lindsay Lohan/Cash Warren thing might have actually happened.

December 4th, 2009 // 79 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has issued an exclusive statement to E! News addressing rumors she’s been getting her coke hooks in Cash Warren:

“Cash Warren is a BUSINESS partner, nothing more, nothing less. And I have NO interest in anything but focusing on my career/work, as well as my family, and getting everyone holiday gifts! Eeeks-stressful!”

Here’s the original report from Us Weekly:

Soon after discovering one another at Villa, Warren and Lohan “ignored friends and just chatted.” The real trouble began half an hour in. “Lindsay and Cash started making out,” an onlooker tells Us.
“Lip on tongue,” the eyewitness continues, “It was raw. They were not shy!”
Another Villa patron that night gasped, “It was a shock to see the two of them kiss, but it was real.”
Those close to Warren and Alba worry that their marriage is already on shaky footing. “Jessica is not as into Cash as she used to be,” one source says. And the ever-fragile Lohan “becomes easily attached to everyone she meets and gets close to,” one friend says. Adds another: “she’s falling for [Cash].”

You know why I believe this happened? Because Lindsay claims to be “BUSINESS partners” with Cash Warren. Nobody ever has a bunch of money lying around and says “You know what? I want Lindsay Lohan near this.” To put things in perspective, Cash Warren could’ve flushed 50 grand down a truck stop toilet, made a YouTube video of himself rubbing his testicles around the seat and still came out ahead both physically and financially. True story.

Photos: WENN

  1. group home x

    Crystal Meth anyone……

  2. Lisa

    This has to be untrue. I mean, Cash W is not all that great lookin, he scored a miracle when he bagged Alba. To go from Alba to Lohan is like going from Kobe Beef in Truffle Sauce to week old McD’s in a garbage can. Seriously. Ewwww. If this is true, Cash, you need a lobotomy.

  3. Balls McCoy

    #1 post of the year! You win the Internet sir.

  4. RaraAvis

    This story may or may not be true, but it’s a great excuse to post these pre-intervention pix of the Sunkist methhead.

    Jeff (#25) I have to disagree. I’ll bet that half the people who post on this site could get busy with Lilo. She doesn’t seem particularly fussy.

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  7. anonymous

    Meh, she doesn’t look great – Looks kinda smashed in some of the pics (particularly the third one).

    Though, to her credit, she’s WHITE. Perhaps she is coming to terms with the fact she’s pale and freckled, and has finally given up the worst of her addictions: TERRIBLE, PATCHY, ORANGE FAKE TAN.

    So it could be that the sunkist is her way of channeling her love for all things orange somewhere more appropriate than over her skin.

  8. The person who signs everything “IN the know” and complains about grammar:

    You’re a fucking twat; the closer you claim to be to celebrities, the twattier you become. And no, I don’t care if its true or not.

  9. Turd da Third

    She needs a serious dose of makeup and pennicillin. Oh yes, keeping her legs and mouth closed would also help.

  10. N


    Learn proper English. Once again

    IN the know

  11. lame

    #61 – fuck off. thanks.

  12. cfgthrty

    What the fuck IS that thing? Please tell me!

  13. Lilly

    Lindsay is looking surprisingly fresh faced. Perhaps she actually bothered sleeping and eating and took a few cake layers of make-up off.

  14. Lorellli

    Grant a REAL wish! 8, 888 wishes granted. After that, no more wishes will be granted.

    make a wish:


  15. Darth

    She can’t hear us or understand anything anymore.She lives in her total other,her own, world.

  16. Nero

    Just write her name in The Book Of The Big Disappearance.We should show her some mercy and just finish this quick.

  17. Galtacticus

    She’s just a vegetable at this point.Just able to lift a soda can to her mouth.

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  19. Maybe we should give Lindsay the benefit of the doubt here for a change. She has said many times she would never be with a married person because it was hard on her family when her dad cheated. There’s never been evidence that she is a “homewrecker”…

  20. Stefany

    She’s a younger Tara Reid. Why hasn’t she staged an intervention for LiLo?

    I wish somebody would tell Lindsay that, in order to make a come-back, you have to go AWAY.

  21. el ces


    I like her hair red, but she looks good without makeup.

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  24. Very ugly woman

  25. I like the post, and I agree somewhat with, To be very truthful.

  26. Very nice hair and body indeed.

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