The Jesus Penis

January 22nd, 2010 // 242 Comments

For those of you screaming in the comments for me to show some cock, I give you the wang of Jesus Luz. This is a recently-leaked outtake from his infamous W photo shoot that I can’t understand why it didn’t run. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate a shriveled, young Brazilian penis and Broomhilda? You’re pretty much hitting all the bases there.

NOTE: The Superficial is not responsible for any women unable to moisten due to the presence of Madonna’s face. Her sorcery is very arid.

Photo: W
superficial

  1. The Listener

    In case no one realizes this, the most common penis lengths for an erect penis are between 5″-7″ and girths 3″-4″ which means this guy is most likely in the normal range, just not at the larger end of the range.

    And before anyone makes what they perceive to be a clever little remark about me, no I’m not a “small” guy, but I feel really bad for the poor guy because all of the people making fun of him here.

    Some people are acting like his penis is freakishly small. Once again, he seems well within the normal range.

  2. Monique

    Ahhh the water didn’t do him any good..

  3. Dan

    Fairly sure that his penis shrank and tried to crawl back inside after Madonna threatened to show it her vagina.

  4. Nikki

    His penis is so small if compare to the guy i saw on yahoo webcam:(9-10 inches_ big penis vs small penis) .
    reallongbig.penis@yahoo.

  5. pork

    It looks liek there may have been some shrinkage. And Madonna has a blonde lady beard.

  6. I would’ve requested a few mins to get myself to half mast for the camera.

  7. Elisabeth

    I’m not gonna say anything about Madonna in this pic, but how refreshing to see an uncut dick! I don’t know what all the hate is about in this thread. Uncut guys feels more, it looks better and feels better for the girl. And the part about it being dirty is a myth. Normal people wash.

    So yeah… Wow… Nice body! =)

  8. RonL

    The fact that Madonna is paying for the love of a microscopically endowed youngster says a lot about how far her sexual prowess has fallen. Pathetic, really.

  9. Poo

    Is that Madonna’s face melting? I guess she was going for the Bell’s palsy look.

  10. Eman Almighty

    GROWER is a MYTH. Big one can shrink only so much… Sorry for the Truth! NOT!!

  11. Lyndsie

    I must say, he has a beautiful body…..almost perfect! I have no idea what his face looks like though. Everyone needs to quit knocking the guy for the size of his junk in this photo! How can you tell anything when it’s soft?? Besides, I want to know how many guys out there would be walking around sporting the wood with Madonna standing around looking like that? Even if he were to be smaller, he obviously would be making up for it with the rest of his bod :)

  12. herbiefrog

    will she be remembered for having changed the world ?

    ? huh >
    ?

  13. NVG

    @171

    I am shy.

    @190

    Thanks for the enlightening info…
    So that’s why mine grows just 50% when erect.
    How did you conduct your research?

    @201

    Thanks for the info, too.
    Now I should be happy.

  14. Lynette Williams

    That is the nastiest dick I’ve ever seen in my life. Madonna can’t be that desperate! YUCK!

  15. haha very nice post. thanks for the share

  16. Darla

    He’s got a fantastic body with the perfect color!

  17. Samantha

    He is not horny, so it is small. It is normal!
    only DUMB people do not understand it!

  18. Stella

    She looks like a nun. What’s up with the cross? Isn’t she a practitioner of Kabbalah or something?

  19. Jon

    Look at these girls saying ‘you guys are jealous of his body’ and whatnot.
    I have a better body and a big dick that doesn’t look busted when flaccid.
    Madonna, i’ll rock your world if you threw your $ at me.

  20. Ems

    WHAT? has she done to her face. Everytime I see her, I am shocked. And I guess he’s a grower, not a shower. Tee hee.

  21. Alright, all the dudes on here who are making fun of this guy’s cock, guess what…YOU AINT FOOLING ANYONE, okay? NO he is not Ron Jeremy, no I’m certain he could not effectively choke a donkey with it.

    BUT.

    That dude is above average. I don’t get what’s up with the balls situation, where the other one is, but we’ve all been in locker rooms and we’ve all seen REAL dudes (not porn actors), and in comparison this dude is more than adequate for any chick whose vagina isn’t akin to the diameter and depth of a mine shaft.

    Dude doesn’t have a small cock.

  22. Jane

    Unless you bitches can fit Tuna Cans in your vag’s. You should probably stop calling that thing small.

    I just means your pussy is traumatized, and hangs like wizard sleeves.

  23. SiennaB

    daaaaaamn nice bod, cock looks legit, a profile shot would be nice though
    and if madonna is keeping him around he’s gotta know how to use it

    praise jesus, id hit it

  24. What Madonna wants to prove form doing this? Let me know when somebody find the answer. Because I didn’t get anything from it. Her ex might also be doing the same so it want going to make any difference to him also.

  25. Sophie Fatale

    disappointed. that’s all i can say i’m too sad to be witty.

  26. Carrie

    The old whore with the uneducated Spanish boy. The Spanish should not have the first name is Jesus.

  27. Marciano

    He’s brazilian. And he s hot. But where’s the wang that was promised? madonna never fails to gross me out though…

  28. Mikka

    she has the face of being sucking to much lemon….

    o_O … or maybe she did suck to much ….

  29. wow…she looks so old, i mean, really old and vainy.
    and his penis, i’ve been looking for the other half but cant find it…its sooo small, it was sad to see…i feel sad for him…LOL

  30. woww…i’ve forgotten how old she looks, that “lemon sucking” old diva :D

  31. HIGH HIGH HIGH

    OMG-MADONNA LOOKS SOOOOO HIGH!
    SHE IS DRUGGED ON SOMETHING TO MAKE HER LOOK 75 AFTER A FACE LIFT!!

  32. she seems desperate nowadays

  33. Becca

    Nice body! Darn, If only his dick were bigger.

    Men like this shouldn’t be allowed to work out. He should gain some weight and get ugly. Only big packers should be allowed to have bodies like that.

  34. No. 4 above, the most beautiful sexy!

  35. Ann Ominous

    # 201, thanks for the voice of reason. most guys really are averageand

    but “grow-ers” really DO exist. i once dated a guy who who went from *maybe* 2″ soft (we called it ‘the little mushroom’) to almost 9″and THICK when hard. obviously that was an extreme but growers are a lot more common than some on here seem to think.

    and guys, most women (that i’ve talked to anyway) care way more about girth than length. really.

  36. This is awesome, please keep writing

  37. Only big packers should be allowed to have bodies like that.

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  40. I agree with most of the pros of the article, great research, well keep in touch. John

  41. drew
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah we get it..Madonna is still a whore

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