The Jesus Penis

January 22nd, 2010 // 242 Comments

For those of you screaming in the comments for me to show some cock, I give you the wang of Jesus Luz. This is a recently-leaked outtake from his infamous W photo shoot that I can’t understand why it didn’t run. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate a shriveled, young Brazilian penis and Broomhilda? You’re pretty much hitting all the bases there.

NOTE: The Superficial is not responsible for any women unable to moisten due to the presence of Madonna’s face. Her sorcery is very arid.

Photo: W

  1. Lando-33

    Good God, Madonna!! Shouldn’t she be out, poisoning Disney princesses with apples?

  2. helz


  3. helz

    okay, i failed… 4

  4. thegoddessmelissa


  5. AliKat

    I’m confused. What’s wrong with the size of Madonna’s head. It looks like an over sized bobble head on 99 year old body.

    I’m still looking for the penis. I can’t seem to find it. The picture of Madonna keeps moving my eyes to the left hand of my screen… I think there is no penis and this picture is actually voodoo magic that will sear your soul with her mark if you stare at it too long. I strongly urge everyone to hit the back button and look away so you aren’t accidently branded as food for Madonna in the afterlife.

  6. Stone

    is it just me, or does his penis look weird?

  7. dcand

    It looks mangled. broken. like it tried to throw itself into a blender out of despair.

  8. The Sabre Tooth Tiger

    That expression on her face looks like she has been swallowing whatever has come out of that stumpy thing. .
    She looks decrepit . .

  9. Valerie

    What an amazing body! DAMN. A grower not a shower, that is A-OK in my book!

  10. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Fucking priceless. I laughed my ass off, guess you can call it genital reaction.

  11. Who?

    The dude is cut…small penis or no penis.

  12. marta

    The pink modesty star is deceptively generous … i was expecting a bit more.

  13. Lover

    Holy!! Madonna looks like a total HAG – no wonder this pic was an outtake. She is going to have a fit when she sees it.

  14. HAHAHA

    So Madonna likes ‘em small and hairless. No wonder why she wanted Jose Canseco…

  15. It's Me Fuckers

    YAY!!!! We finally get to see some COCK on here!!!!!!! I love you Superfish! Mmmmmmmmm… COCK. :D:D

  16. jalin

    It looks like he’s walking toward her and his little boy dick is trying to go the other way.

  17. Frank

    @14– Totally! The star made it seem like this guy was going to be impressive… but he makes me look like John Holmes or something.

  18. Guest

    Hmmm … well that’s kind of small … and um puberty-esc ….

  19. Paralegal

    He definitely doesn’t look circumsized! maybe thats why it looks weird.

  20. Vinnie the Chin.

    mine’s bigger

  21. Charlie Wong

    Madonna looks like an old hag. I can’t believe that anyone would like to see her vagina, ewwwwww.
    It must look like a roast beef sandwich. You know that Jesus would eventually want to get something that is actually tight he is going to play sooner or later when that vagina gets moist it must be nasty.

  22. pele

    He’s Brazilian alright….


    After seeing Octomom in a bikini and this picture within a week of each other, I think my eyes need to take a vacation.

    And I don’t care how cut a man is, that penis isn’t enough to make up for it. Then again, he might be a grower.

  24. Grave Digger

    Would someone please throw some dirt on that dead hag already?
    Madge sure looks her age in that pic!

  25. Hugh G. Rection

    My dick bigger than a bridge
    Your dick look like a little kids

  26. CHoc DOnut

    First off, she’s dressed like the maid, which automatically makes her look poor and old, no matter how young and hot a maid can be, the clothes make her look older, although so does the hair, and the face, and the veiny disgusting arm down below.
    The photographer didn’t add enough extra light to blow out madonnas features, standard fare for someone more aged.

    Eventually, though, it just becomes impossible to make someone in their 50s look like they’re in the 30s. It’s too bad, but it’s reality and there isn’t anything you can do about it. Megan Fox would’ve rocked this pic. Also, the intent of the pic, for madonna to act like she’s the biz for getting this young man, also pathetic.

  27. One Hung Lo

    She looks pissed that Johhny one nut is coming back for more after she already punched him in the dick once.

  28. Liz

    She is dressed like a nun not a maid.

    And yes the guy’s penis could be bigger but he still looks better than anyone here.

  29. johnny

    hahahahah, tiiiiiiiiny. hello shorty!

  30. joe litlcock

    She’s starting to look like the puppet from saw….


    THANK YOU!!!! FINALLY!!!!!


  32. She looks like Mommie Dearest.

  33. Leslie

    I have moistened…going to change my panties

  34. beerandy

    uh…he isnt hard…how can anyone judge the size? he just got out of a pool…the fact it isnt a freaking mushroom cap i am impressed.

    and madge is haggard. gross. no wonder he is flaccid.

  35. Doc Schweinstrudel

    He is probably her face skin donnor that’s why he doesn’t have so much left…he’s just been too generous, just look at the tip of her nose!

  36. Squishy

    Damn! All I see is what looks like Madonna in a wig, wearing a modified nuns habit, with a guy and his hoody wearing penis…Fugly!!

  37. mikewiz

    Hey Tiny!!!!!! LMAO!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! How embarrassing for him!!!

  38. B

    Madonna looks exactly like what she really is: A Vampire.

  39. jt

    what’s wednesday addams doing in a photo with an under-endowed naked dude?

  40. sweet baby jesus

    it may not be long, but it looks girthy, and girth is more important.


    Wicked, this is great! Thanks!

    You guys posting on here are idiots. His dick isn’t small, you’re all just jealous your body could never look like that. I love it, but I don’t like how he’s all shaved.

    Wasn’t’ there a magazine spread in here just the other day that showed Jesus’ big bush?

  42. Madonna looks awful, that’s a given. But what I find funny are all the comments about this guy’s cock. You say it’s small…yet he isn’t even HARD. You don’t judge the size of a dick unless it is HARD. If that was the case, 95% of you men out there would be fucked sideways and laughed off. Besides, growers make for a pleasant surprise :)

  43. Veronica

    this comment is the equivalent of electroshock. My eyes keep reaching for the cock, yet I keep getting zapped with what can only be described as a child-eating Halloween witch with a spookrifix around her twisted neck.

    I am scared and may be off of men for a while.

  44. WTF

    You know, it’s really not that strange that someone should look their actual age.

  45. Wacker

    He just came out of a cold pool you fucking dipwads. I bet she sucks it alot bigger. You go granny!!

  46. missywiss

    what did she do to his cock? It’s like she sucked the brown right off!
    Gosh, his body is byu-tee-ful!!!

  47. Marie

    Oh nooo! It is so small! Why is she fu”·$ing that?

    Well, at least I finally see a dick on this website. It was about time… that’s something…. Keep it up! Or bigger

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