The Jersey Shore Girls in Bikinis

April 21st, 2010 // 78 Comments

Welcome to Bikini Morning on The Superficial!

Here’s JWoww, Snooki and Angelina filming Jersey Shore in Miami yesterday and clearly the producers are just copying pages directly from the Heidi Montag playbook. I mean Christ, they’ve already surgically altered Snooki to look like Tan Clayface so it’s really just a matter of time until she’s contractually obligated to marry a closeted homosexual.

EDIT: So apparently that’s Snooki’s “natural” appearance and MTV’s just using to her to breach TLC’s coveted midget market. Makes sense.

JWoww in a Bikini – 4.22.2010
Snooki in a Bikini – 4.22.2010
Angelina in a Bikini – 4.22.2010

superficial

  1. truth

    thick, rough, haggard and smoking a cigarette.

    one can never go hungry underestimating the tastes of the american public

  2. Ego

    First!

  3. FishBone

    J BowWow

  4. Mike

    Gooey. Ick.

  5. Dn

    My penis can only see the color pink, therefore it’s – GO TIME!

  6. titsonsnack

    tired of hearing about jersey shore. I can’t even watch that show ironically to make fun of it, it just sucks.

  7. j

    pooooooooooor Snookie…

    definitely the DUFFY

    : (

  8. Candy Alice

    Where is SAM? Why is Angelina back? She isn’t hot. J’s Bikini looks like a lingerie, but hot anyway. She may deny new boobs, but she can’t deny the new belly.

  9. cuntychops

    They are a fucking ugly pair of cunts.

  10. GUIDOHATER

    FUCKING UGLY ASS BITCHES NEED TO GO BACK UP TO THAT SHIT HOLE THEY CAME FROM. THEY ARE SCREWING UP THE VIEW FOR ALL THE TOURIST WHO ARE GOING TO SOUTH BEACH TO SEE REAL HOT WOMAN FROM FLORIDA & SOUTH AMERICA.

    NOONE WANTS TO COME ALL THE WAY FROM MINNESOTA TO SEE SOME FAT SAGGING TITS, SMOKING HUNGOVER SKANKS WITH AN ACCENT THAT RUNS ALL THE WILDLIFE AWAY FROM OUR OCEANS & EVERGLADES.

    I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO CALL THE FLORIDA GAME & WILDLIFE PATROL TO HAVE THESE BEAST REMOVED FROM OUR BEACHES FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR TOURIST & CHILDREN.

    GOD MY EYES ARE BURNING FROM STINCH ESCAPING FROM THEIR CROTCHES. GAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • elllora

      totally agree im from australia and i feel like throwin up lookin at these ugly galsmaybe they hd change the name 2 UGLY TRANNYS OF JERSEY SHORE

  11. Wow, its a presentation of mediocrity.

  12. doogie

    I’ll take a fat redhead over these ugos any day of the week.

  13. I just don't get it...

    Everyone makes fun of the Jersey Shore people, including the locals themselves. What is America’s facination with these losers? Are they PROUD to be part of the armpit of the world? You guys ever BEEN to the Jersey shore and seen the huge toxic dumps? You ever had to deal with any of these creepy thugs? You ever drive on the roads with them? I did for four years and just can’t believe that they’ve even been giving more than a potty break with Elmo and Barney. Geez.

  14. GUIDOHATER

    SEE, I TOLD YOU THEIR CROTCHES STINK……………….LOOK AT PICTURE #19 AND LOOK AT PIGGIES FACE & THAT OTHER SKANK TO HER LEFT. PIGGY IS HOLDING HER BREATH AND THE OTHER IS ABOUT TO PUKE.

    UGLY FAT JERSEY PIGS…FIST PUMP THIS CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Aieemyeyes

    Thanks fish, now i gotta scrub my eyes with battery acid.

  16. Aieemyeyes

    Thanks fish, now i gotta scrub my eyes with battery acid.

  17. Sport

    Ewww. Stay in Jersey we dont need you poisoning our California beaches.

  18. Jimmy

    These skanks are the trash our parents warned us about. As they used to say, you are judged by the company you keep, and these swine are among the lowest class of animal life. You lay down with pigs and you just become another pig. You can take them out of the pigsty, do everything you can to clean them up, dress them up, and they’re always going to be pigs!

  19. jon

    It must suck to be so fat that you have to keep your dress on while you lay out at the beach.

  20. dnkypunch

    I hate to admit it but I am from New Jersey (Philadelphia side not NY side) That said I would rather vacation in Tijuana than go to the Jersey shore. I really wish they would ship these losers off to the Jersey Shore, Antartica. Most people in Southern NJ do not have the NY accent, or the crappy I am soooo friggin cool attitude. Most people in South Jersey want to succeed from North Jersey as they just drag us down anyways. BTW the Giants, Mets, Rangers and Devils all suck too.

  21. joho777

    Saggy and sloppy. They look so much better dressed, and even then they’re unattractive.

    Does anyone really like these posers?

  22. Euphoria

    …Snooki in a bikini…c’mon, who you foolin’!

    More like a beached Whale with a thin upper lip…she needs more bronzer on that bod!

    Ya know I sayin’?

  23. rcccccch

    WHY do i have to keep seeing pictures of any of the jersey shore people? Seriously not cool I’m starting to dislike visiting this website.

  24. GIRL

    10 & 14….. yesss haahaa thanks for that.

    I wonder if MTV will be airbrushing these skanks before this goes on their show?? God I seriously hate this show and don’t even find it funny at all. It’s more embarrassing than anything, and I agree, we need to call wildlife patrol to lock these bitches up so that they never grace out airwaves AGAIN.

  25. Puke

    I like that one girl’s cross belly button ring, very classy!

  26. cc

    All this Jersey cow shit on the beach, bad for the ecology and tourism biz!

  27. Tek

    What the hell did we do to deserve this? I haven’t watched MTV in years, but they usually throw in at least one hot chick in their reality shows… so did they go out of their way to be different this time and cast a bunch of ugly, trashy broads to see what happens?

    What’s funny is that all of them went to the beach for some publicity… yet they all refuse to take their shit off.

  28. UhOH

    This girls are so self conscious its unbelievable.
    They have to cover their asses anytime the are standing for fear of it being filmed.
    I actually feel bad for them. For the crap they talk about looking good, they are just as unassured of themselves as that fat chich at the school dance who sits in the corner waiting for the quarterback to come and ask her to dance.

  29. ImBusyNYourUgly

    Hey South Jersey IDIOT, one of these dumb bitches is from HAZLET NJ which means SOUTH JERSEY. We don’t want you guys just like you don’t want us. Keep reppin KILLADEPHIA with Michael ‘Animal Killer’ Vick and all your coke head fans.
    The rest of these trash bags are not even from JERSEY so its time to STFU with all the Jersey hating just cuz a bunch of losers from NY and other random shit holes think its ok to glorify a stereotype that truly does not exist in Jersey. I live right outside of NYC and have lived in all parts of North Jersey almost all of my life. I have MAYBE seen a dozen guys like this in Jersey in my life. Now when I lived in QUEENS that is where I found this look to really exist.
    People in Jersey maybe lots of things and RICH is one of them. Honestly with all the money here, these parents would NEVER allow their kids to look like this. Most kids/young adults in Jersey look more like a J Crew catalog then an A/X catalog. To look like this is not socially acceptable and ANY strict Italian family would not condone or allow their daughters to act like this. Oh wait, these bitches are not even Italian.
    So all in all these are non New Jersey, Non Italian losers making us all look bad. Until you have really been to Jersey and get to see how beautiful most of this state is then just shut up. I don’t even like living her but I will be the first to admit that its a nice place to live if you want to be exposed to all life has to offer. There is lots of money, lots of people, lots of traffic but lots of really really beautiful parts. The thing is the average individual living in America could never make enough money to know these parts of Jersey even exist. This is why so many people hate and think Jersey is nothing more then Newark and the Turnpike.
    And by the way South Jersey, congrats on having the murder capital of the country in your ‘state’. Camden for the win. Even Newark is better then Camden.
    For the hates look into towns like..Short Hills, Alpine, Essex Fells, Millburn, Maplewood, Bernardsville, Far Hills, Mendham, Chester, Red Bank, Deal, Colts Neck then form an opinion and hate if you can.

  30. UhOH

    @ImBusyNYourUgly
    Spoken like a true piece of shit.

  31. erny

    Sammi is the only one worth seeing in a bikini. Damnit.

  32. Bob

    #29,

    You don’t get irony, do you?

  33. whoCARESanyways...

    OK REALLY PEOPLE ….they dont look that bad….I HAVE SEEN WORSE….i think thay yes …they are skanky and a little trashy at times ….but OH WELL IF YOU DONT LIKE IT …DONT LOOK !!!!!! REALLY …….GET A LIFE AND QUIT TALKING SMACK ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE …..WHY ALL THE HATERS !!!!! ARE YOU PERFECT YOURSELF…………………….DIDNT THINK SO !!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. whoCARESanyways...

    OK REALLY PEOPLE ….they dont look that bad….I HAVE SEEN WORSE….i think thay yes …they are skanky and a little trashy at times ….but OH WELL IF YOU DONT LIKE IT …DONT LOOK !!!!!! REALLY …….GET A LIFE AND QUIT TALKING SMACK ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE …..WHY ALL THE HATERS !!!!! ARE YOU PERFECT YOURSELF…………………….DIDNT THINK SO !!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. whoCARESanyways...

    OK REALLY PEOPLE ….they dont look that bad….I HAVE SEEN WORSE….i think thay yes …they are skanky and a little trashy at times ….but OH WELL IF YOU DONT LIKE IT …DONT LOOK !!!!!! REALLY …….GET A LIFE AND QUIT TALKING SMACK ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE …..WHY ALL THE HATERS !!!!! ARE YOU PERFECT YOURSELF…………………….DIDNT THINK SO !!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. richard m. nixon

    i find this show particularly stupid/unwatchable/boring. i don’t want to have to look at these idiots ever, here, or elsewhere. if we ignore them (none/minimal comments), they’ll disappear, and create space for hotter/higher quality pussy.

  37. rick ross

    I would wrap jwows legs all over me

  38. Beeotch

    um really? I don’t get it….who are they and why are they “famous” Is MTV so desperate to get a good reality tv show??? oh and a note to the teenie boppers out there: MTV was only cool when it played music!!!!!!

  39. Beeotch

    um really? I don’t get it….who are they and why are they “famous” Is MTV so desperate to get a good reality tv show??? oh and a note to the teenie boppers out there: MTV was only cool when it played music!!!!!!

  40. yeast

    “Italians” have to be the most retarded mother fuckers in this country, other than all the other retarded mother fuckers in this country.

  41. bar room hero

    I was going to ask who watches this garbage, but then I thought about all of the other reality shows and rap ‘music’…

    slags n’ douchebags…

  42. Lucky

    Is J-Woww going to the beach, or going to go work the pole??? because her bathing suit and earrings looks like something a stripper would wear..hehehehe

  43. mickey

    three posts about the jersey shore? are you outa your fucking mind?

  44. Kelly

    OMG it does look like a strippers outfit..

  45. justifiable

    The whole fucking state smells like overrripe cheese. Now we know why.

  46. Gayle

    Pic #11 is pretty bad.. Look at their faces.. Miserable for the beach and filming, this tells everyone how scripted these shows are.
    That Snooki is UGLY, She needs lip work done bad.

  47. Becs

    Snooki is the greatest person ever!!

    But how is she suddenly Black?? interesting…

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  49. Chenush

    Why all the girls in this show are so ugly, while the boys are hot?
    I guss the director is gay.

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