Jersey Shore isn’t Friends

January 25th, 2010 // 77 Comments

Because combined they’re an unstoppable fuckbox of dumb, the cast of Jersey Shore is attempting a Friends-style negotiation to return for another season. TMZ reports:

As we first reported, MTV offered each cast member a $10,000 signing bonus and $5,000 per episode. We’re told the cast rejected the offer and made it clear they would all stand together and hold out for their price, though they didn’t say what it was.
MTV made a new offer of $10,000 an episode — there are 12 episodes in the new season — but so far the cast hasn’t responded.
We’re told MTV already has replacements if Snooki, Pauly D, The Situation and the others don’t accept the offer on Monday. But, we’re told, MTV is happy to mix and match if some of the cast accepts the offer and other don’t.
As for who’s being the most hard-headed in the negotiations — The Situation and Pauly D.

I don’t know who’s more retarded here: The cast for not realizing they’re the prime example of MTV putting anybody on the air and future world leaders lapping it up. Or MTV for not realizing the same thing and actually giving these kids more money. I had no idea there was a shortage of over-tanned Italian douchebags in the tri-state area who like free trips to the beach. If that’s the case, I’m sure Boise, Idaho will be another ratings juggernaut between Teen Mom and Got VD? Here’s Your Own Show.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Que

    Que please do not.

  2. bigbadbrad

    Replacement for Snooki?? How ’bout Jabba the Hut from the Star Wars movies?

  3. amanda

    that guys abs arent very impressive

  4. azzman

    this show fails.. it wont do nearly what the first season did.

    either way.. it blows goats

  5. Liz

    Duluth isn’t in Iowa…it’s in Minnesota.

  6. WhoCares

    Who really gives a sh*t about these a-holes? I hope MTV dumps them all and they have to go back to their “real” jobs – IF they had any to begin with.

  7. Freebie

    Why is he showing off his stomach? Am I supposed to like that little boy’s chest? He looks like a skinny little girl.

  8. MTV

    Hey YOU made them what they are you assholes.

    Now you can bitch and whine about having done so all year.


  9. Brian0523

    This I-talian figgola needs to grow a bigger penis before I would ever consider bending over for him. Blech! What a shitbagtool.

  10. sucaminkia

    do you realize that these people from this show make me reevaluate paris hilton?

    seriously guys, this is a low that should have never been reached.

  11. veggi

    Just like grandma used to say, fuck those cocksuckers.

  12. beast man

    This show and its popularity are a glaring sign that America and its culture are in the shitter….

  13. i am a computar man

  14. Rough's goodwill tour

    You have grease on your hands MTV. Pony up!

  15. fdgrhjtyjnkljnoiy kl;jdfkljfds njioy7

  16. stupidass

    breaking new ground in the “couldn’t care less” category.

  17. Boris

    I’m sure MTV wont have a hard time finding new douchebags to capture the hearts and minds of Americas teens.

  18. Name (required):

    1. Jersey Shore is gay and anyone who watches it is gay.
    2. Duluth is in MN…there is no Duluth IA
    3. I like seeing the word fuck being used the last 2 days (On the site and twitter) rather than f*ck…

    • Your Gay

      Your the only one who is gay, taking time to worry about what other people watch. You have a life, I can see.

  19. zuzuspetals

    It’s over, boys and girls. This nation is FUCKED.

  20. They are making tons of money for doing appearances now. I understand why they would want more money from Mtv, it is the biggest show they have had in ages, and all of the advertisers are doing really well with the show.
    But the show won’t really work with the same cast again because everyone knows who they are now. They’ll go to a club and get bombarded by people.

  21. abby

    I am wondering about the girl who bailed the first episode. Is she trying to get back on Season 2? I don’t believe she should be able to.

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  23. J

    Somebody please pull the plug on these inbred fucking losers and let them live their douchebag lives in relative obscurity.
    Every town, city, village has mentally deficient assholes like these so there is no real need to point out the obvious and let them continue to televise another retardathon.

  24. I don’t even watch this retarded show… but why don’t they just pluck some other dipshits out of obscurity and pay them the peanuts?

    I mean… I’m sure everyone has had their fill of these monkeys, wouldn’t it be boring to watch their tardly antics for a 2nd season?

  25. Vomit

    Just when I tought that I couldn’t care less about these buffoons, I realized that there is a point where I CAN actually care less about something. Just put a camera on a short bus and drive it around for a week and you’ll surely get more intelligent dialog.

  26. God of Thunder

    I think we have a situation here.

  27. Every woman's dream man - me

    Good lord it’s hard to believe Italy ever made it out of the Dark Ages with this gene pool.

  28. drainedbrain

    Author of this site must have removed the Duluth, Iowa mention, because it now says Boise, Iowa – - wrong again. Boise is in Idaho.

  29. There’s some redundancy in the article’s description — “over-tanned Italian douchebags” — you could’ve just said “Italian” and the “overtanned” and “douchebag” parts are implied….

    Remember the posting of that wrinkled whore, Donatella Versace, the leathery-tanned douchebag? Need I say more???

    When describing our Italian friends, you can also omit adjectives like “retarded”, “hot tempered”, “immoral”, “whorish”, “undisciplined”, “greedy”, “unemployed”, and many more.

    Fortunately I don’t have to worry about any Italians reading this & exercising their temper, none of them could get past the first sentence without their brains melting.

  30. drainedbrain

    Also, while channel surfing I only landed on this show a couple of times. And that was enough to make me quickly change the channel. Could not stand the fake tans, the whiney voices, the fighting, the stupidity . . . just too much nastyness in one place. Give the participants their walking papers and don’t try another crap show like this one.

  31. jalin

    How about a show where we get all these retards in the same room where they can off each other like Reservoir Dogs simultaneously.

    I smell a hit!


  32. Isabella

    i would like to do naughty things to this man…thank you

  33. JR

    It’s like his nipples are staring at me. They’re making me feel very uncomfortable. Make them stop.

  34. Kitty Furry

    I-talians are not naggers? Since when? Fuk em

  35. Que imbécil !

    #29 – You must be talking about SOME Italian-American (like these ones, which I doubt they´re 100% or even 50% Italian anyway) and you must know not all Italians are like you said…

    You´re just an ignorant and racist asshole!!…pretty sure you´re just an average and pathetic excuse for a man.

  36. AD

    This cast is more replacable that toilet paper! Only reaosn I hope MTV re-signs them is so they stay in Jersey and do not come out to the Hamptons this summer!

  37. SO RIGHT

    There are two kinds of people in the world, those who are Italian and those who wish they were Italian. Don’t kid yourselves. As with all nationalities, there are a few rotten apples. Doesn’t mean the whole bunch is spoiled.

  38. kimberly

    Did Pauly D or That-Situation-Guy guest-blog about themselves today? Just wondering, because surely the Superficial Writer wouldn’t make not one but TWO geographical errors! FOR SHAME.

  39. wetthaislut

    As the residents of Milan say….Africa starts at the Appian Gate (for the historically challenged, the Appian Gate stood south of rome, and was the beginning of the Appian way (the road south).

    These wops have Mezzorgiorno written all over them

  40. Amen!

    I couldn´t have said it better that that !!

  41. Amen!

    #37 – I could´t have said it better myself !

    You´re SO RIGHT !!

  42. Anglo

    SO RIGHT is SO WRONG who would want to admit to being Italian? Greasy, dark skinned sub-whites with a penchant for crime and loud mouthed stupidity and grabbing their crotches like their black cousins. What do they offer the modern world now?
    Italians. Ha! Good thing you had that Jesus thing going on or else the Germanics would have wiped you off the face of the map. With ease. Not like that homo gladiator shit where the Roman army had ballistas and catapualts and armors to hide behind.

  43. JR

    @42 Yeah, because you’re doing so much good for the world ranting on a blog comments section on what a racist you are. Ironic how you’ve become the very buffoon you seek to jeer.

    Do us all a favor. Never breed.

  44. Christina

    I think anglo saxons should go back to saxo land or where ever the hell you pasty bastards came from and make way for the better looking mixed race people! Suckers!

  45. Brian0523

    The Situtation is a scumbagmotherfuckingmoronpieceofshit italian cunt.

  46. evul

    pauly shore’s lookin a’ight for his age.

  47. Boobs

    What kind of jackass wears rosary beads as a necklace? I’m no bible thumper, but just because it’s a closed loop with shiny beads on it doesn’t mean it goes around your neck.

  48. Guido Hater

    @44 – Without us you guys would turn this country into Haiti. Only reason Guido’s have what little money they do is from washing our cars, cleaning our homes, mowing our lawns, repairing our cars, delivering pizza’s, clearing our tables at restaurants, etc.

  49. mafme

    Fuck. Just fire them all and get a new cast of idiots– people don’t watch it because they care about these fucking morons, it’s just to watch the spectacle unfold and explode. You could get however many more douchebags for 1/5 or 1/10 of this offer. These orange toolboxes are completely fungible.

  50. SO RIGHT

    #42 – I live in the midwest. None of the Italians I know act like this. The Italians are know are the most attractive people in the area. In addition, they’re hard-working, take very good care of their families, take care of their own backyard, AND are incredibly warm to other people. On top of that, their beautiful dark skin is the envy of all. So — again, I think you’re speaking of a particular group of Italians, not all.

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