The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

November 20th, 2009 // 108 Comments

If you don’t like looking at insanely hot women in lingerie, now would be a good time to go see New Moon and/or become a People subscriber. These are shots from last night’s 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and I started things off with Alessandra Ambrosio and Marisa Miller who seem to be engaged in some sort of epic ab battle where the only real loser is all of us who will never get to touch them. — Wow, I honestly didn’t set out to drive people to suicide, yet here we are. My bad.

- Added Miranda Kerr whose ass should’ve been the top pic. I’ve failed you.

- Added Selita Ebanks because I hope Nick Cannon is reading and sobbing in his butler outfit. This isn’t how you make Mariah’s sandwich.

- Added Doutzen Kroes. Do I really have to explain why?

Photos: Getty

  1. maria beatrice forte


  2. yum



  3. maria beatrice forte

    and yes…boring

  4. Fyvush Finkel

    These bitches are all tendon and gristle.

  5. Fyvush Finkel

    These bitches are all tendon and gristle.

  6. A.G

    Alessandra Ambrosio always looks too skinny, but what happened to Marisa Miller? She always used to look so full and healthy and voluptuous. She’s looking totally emaciated and bony here. Sad.

  7. lennie

    they’re kind of scary looking. but i’d still take their bodies over my own lol lets be honest.

  8. Nathanville

    Someone needs to introduce these ladies to a freaking cheeseburger! they look like someone stapled a pair of fake tits to a toothpick and threw some lingere on them! GROSS!

  9. who dat

    This show needs fresh meat. These hags are past their expiration date & most have dropped out babies. Time to send them to the unemployment line.

  10. dk

    Omg, ugly fucking whores. Than im clicking through in vile disgust and I jumped out my damn chair when the jiga-BOO popped up, lmfao! Where they get her from… Next time place her pictures in the bag of the bus!

  11. dk

    Omg, ugly fucking whores. Then im clicking through in vile disgust and I jumped out my damn chair when the jiga-BOO popped up, lmfao! Where they get her from… Next time place her pictures in the back of the bus!

  12. TetterkeT

    Dirty, filthy sluts.

  13. who dat

    The only hot pictures are 19 & 21

  14. sameoldsameold

    looks like a bird crashed into miranda kerr’s ass. besides that: agent provocateur kicks victoria’s ass.

  15. pickle

    insanely hot? i don’t think so.

  16. jelloshot

    what a bunch of haters!!! so what there fuckin skinny they have to be to do this….dont be mad cuz their getting paid and ur not

  17. what a bunch of haters!!! so what there fuckin skinny they have to be to do this….dont be mad cuz their getting paid and ur not

  18. John

    why are they filty whores? they’re beautiful girls. Stop hating you fucking pinkos. Geeeeeez.

  19. banana brain

    these r some of the most beautiful women i have ever seen..i cantg believe all these jealous people bashing them..why cant people just love one anothers gorgeousness. doutzen kroes and miranda ker r my favorite i think they r insane looking..and miranda kers ass is hot fucking insanley hot! i wonder how much cellulite that person with the bird comment has? get over yourself. these girls r beautiful.

  20. laurens

    marissa miller got SKINNYY… I liked her better before : /

  21. F*ckRandal

    Right on #19…a bunch of fucking haters on this site. I’m not sure if ppl hate because they know they will never look like that, or have a chance with anyone that looks like that or if ppl hate the fact that none of these chicks get out of bed for less than 30k a day…

    keep hatin’ bitches

  22. Parker

    I would happily buttfuck any one of these girls.

    Or all of them.

  23. sunshine

    OMG, I feel like I’m channeling Randal here, but if wishes came true, I’d gladly trade bodies with any of these beautiful women. The folks finding fault here? Go get a mirror or picture of your last date and, place it beside your monitor – do a quick comparison. Most will fail miserably, including me.

  24. Luz

    I find them too skinny as well. Go ahead and bash me with your internet bravery but speaking for myself, as a naturally curvy and fit woman, they just don’t look healthy. I think they are beautiful women and am not trying to put them down but most men I know what something to grab on to. Just MHO.

  25. Fat Chicks Suck

    Too skinny? How fat and stupid are you people? Look at the muscle tone on these girls! Just because they have a low bodyfat percentage doesn’t mean they aren’t in amazing shape. Also, very few (if any) of these girls have implants.

    If you don’t think Miranda’s ass is ridiculously hot you’re either gay, in denial, or a jealous hag.

    Man I’m sick of jealous fat idiots. If people wanted to look at out-of-shape saggy bodies they could just go to any beach in America. The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is a nice break from shitty reality.

  26. Nice, makes me want to work hard to become a millionaire.

  27. Buddha

    It is okay, but not too impressed…they could all use a few sandwiches. Yeah, some muscle tone is hot, along with womanly curves.but 8 pack abs are better in women’s bodybuilding, not in many men’s fantasies.
    Marissa: get out of the radiation..girl: your skin is looking weathered!
    Otherwise they are all pretty and people are just jealous..
    However I would take a Salma Hayek or Halle Berry or the Old Cindy Crawford/Christie Brinkley over any of them ay day..In my humble opinion!
    Bring back real sexy vixens, not twigs with some push up

  28. fagballs

    Most of these bit*hes are waaaaaaaaaay too skinny.

  29. big teeth

    What freaking barn did these horse faces escape from?

  30. katie

    Suck it, Miranda- my ass is better.

  31. Jammy

    Wow, whats up with the worn leathery looking skin? especially Alessandra and Marissa, and i so agree with #9, with so many younger better looking girls out there, why would they need to use these has beens. Does anyone remember when victorias secret models used to actually be hot?

  32. v tard

    Alessandra and Marisa look starved. All tendons and no body fat like @4 said. Kinda like those hairless Sphynx cats.

    @6 is right, Marisa still has a nice face but…what happened?

    I never noticed Alessandra kinda has a man face under all that make-up.

    Miranda looks the most natural and attractive here. Probably because she’s naturally skinny, so there’s no freaky cat-like muscle tone. Her skin is smooth and she has no ass. In other words she looks normal, just on the skinny side.

    Selita does nothing for me. She’s average looking.

    Doutzen is the only other natural looking girl. Actually has some meat on her thighs though a bit squarish in the middle with that zero waist. Cute face, especially when she smiles.

  33. katie

    Doutzen Kroes is a fat slut.

  34. melissa

    Why isn’t adrianna on here? She’s the hottest one!!!

  35. melissa

    Why isn’t adrianna on here? She’s the hottest one!!!

  36. Lisa

    Laetitia Casta and Stephanie Seymour are the perfect examples of what a Victoria’s Secret model should look like, curvaceous. These women are too damn skinny.

  37. crazypants

    @4 – right on – these women look great if they’re training to compete in the half-marathon, but I thought they were supposed to me lingerie models – how about some curves?

    They might as well put a bunch of prima ballerinas up there – they’re attractive and in fantastic shape, but most guys aren’t clamoring to see them half-naked.

  38. kpatra

    too many young skinny white ladies wearing stripper glitter. boring.

  39. julesk

    They actually do look too skinny but obviously they are supermodels and their faces are gorgeous. Doutzen and Miranda look like they are naturally that skinny, but the other girls look like they starved themselves. Check out pics of Lindsay Ellingson on some of the other websites. It looks like she is going to keel over and die. Her hip bones are protruding out like a foot.

  40. chango666

    I didn’t like the negro one . . .

  41. Orlando Bloom likes it in the butt

    Miranda Kerr, what ass? She has no ass.

  42. Jen

    @ 29, LMAO

  43. So very hot and inspirasional.

  44. F*ckRandal

    @24 “as a naturally curvy and fit woman”

    Most men read that as fat…just save yourself a few seconds of typing and just use “fat” in the future.

  45. The truth is

    Victoria Secret is going down

    What happened to all the beautiful curvaceous girls?
    these girls are ugly!!!!
    and have ugly bodies

    its time for some fresh meat VS

  46. Omar

    Amazing. Look at those abs on the girls. Miranda’s ass is amazing too. They are all stunning, it’s just chubby and fat girls or guys who can’t get that type of girl who are angry. Tight bodies, low body fat percentage.

  47. I just did a mixing post with some pix and videos .. have a look ;)

  48. noseringgirl

    apparently you’ve got a lot of fat lonely housewives/guys that will only ever bone fat lonely housewives reading this shit, judging by how much everyone is bashing the most gorgeous women on earth. Just because some of us have the self-control to not become obese, and to actually maintain slender, natural figures doesn’t mean all you fatties need to hate to make yourselves feel better…seriously? go for a walk instead of commenting about how beautiful women need to eat cheeseburgers. good gravy

  49. noseringgirl

    bee tee dubs, thanks for the pics, Superficial writer…you’re my hero

  50. M.

    They have the bodies of young boys with bolt on tits, how can a real man find this appealing? They have pretty faces but they need more meat on them.

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