The TSA Really Wanted To Touch JWoww’s Boobs

November 14th, 2011 // 55 Comments
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And where were they on 9/11…

JWoww was subjected to a TSA patdown in Fargo yesterday which normally she’s all for, but apparently this time she realized TSA agents are spotting her giant breasts from across the airport which is really the only way to read this entire situation. Via Twitter:

Fargo ND airport just treated me like a criminal.. Holy shit! Travel 2x a week and never went thru what I did here :(
Has anyone got “randomly selected” while walking on the plane and asked to “come with them” to be additionally searched? I wasn’t randomly selected cuz I saw the tsa there pointing at me while I was getting a coffee 15 min prior
I’ve been patted down a bunch n don’t mind but after I’m getting on a plane seems odd and deliberate to me. Hate when people abuse authority

I seriously want to know what these guys were doing that tipped JWoww off because, let’s be realistic, there’s no way she’s not an oblivious tit-box of dumb. Even if they stood there honking the air, she’d probably wonder if the flight attendants are going to hand out invisible balloons on her flight, too. “Ooh, neat, you blow them up by thrusting your crotch! Whee!”



  1. Richard McBeef

    I’m sure they handled those things exactly like they were designed to be handled: quickly, roughly, and with latex exam gloves.

    • Kishore

      Her boobs, her nails, her tan, and her face are all superficial chnegas that she can do if she pleases. Her wanting to stop drinking some unhealthy stuff is for her health, and if she wants to be healthier then more power to her.

  2. i live in Fargo, she’s not lying. Fargo airport has the most intrusive security i’ve ever been through.

    • Richard McBeef

      i fuckin’ knew it. north dakota is actually known as the ass eating state.

    • karlito

      probably payback for the movie they made about those murders in Fargo. hilarious film about something that wasn’t funny.

    • Deacon Jones

      I would kill myself if I lived in North Dakota.

      No offense, Pimp

      • i’d recommend getting your head checked if you said anything else. i’ve been trying to kill myself for years with booze and drugs, just won’t die. on a side note: finest women in the country live in the tri-state area. this is fact.

      • Deacon Jones


    • kimmykimkim

      Whatever, fuck all you guys! Ass eating? Intrusive pat-downs? I’m fucking moving there.

    • Juliette

      Diito, My brother visited from SFO in September and was told to rewalk through the metal detector more “normal”.

      I’ve had more patdowns in Fargo than I have anywhere in the nation.

      • harpoonian

        i’ve flown to fargo a number of times and its true. I got pulled out of line three times in a row and got my bag drug swabbed. Pimp’s right, there are some great looking women in that town, and most of them are about the nicest hot women you will ever talk to. They make good starter kits for trophy wives; just add hair, +2′s, and makeup. Lots of athletic looking blondes, so no one would even pay attention to JWOW. She’s a troll there, and the fake boobs probably set something off, since they never see them there. Jwoww’s a bowwow there from what I recall. Pimp, was that you wrote those $8000 in bad checks to Northern Exposure? LOL! You know they are all air dances there, right?

      • i “retired” from the Northern years ago. after you bang a couple bartenders, couple dancers, and a blackjack dealer….it’s not that fun anymore.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        This officious little bitch in Aspen actually opened and closely inspected my tube of lipstick. Like she thought she was in a James Bond movie or something. Maybe I was hiding miniature nunchucks in there. When she was done I told her to throw it in the trash.

    • cc

      Fargo can’t be as bad as Winnipeg (in terms of living there).

      JWoww would fit right in there. Unless you marry your high school sweetheart, you have to accept that you are marrying a skank.

  3. She seems the kind of girl more likely to blurt out “Fucking patdowns, how do they work?”

  4. lalala

    I’ve had the pat down several times. They’re performed by a same-sex officer and are really clinical. God forbid someone point at a famous person.

    • Venom

      Yeah, but come on this is bullshit. The TSA in situations like this are clearly abusing their power. They know who the fuck Jwoww is and any other big celebrity and they know they are not goddamn terrorists and they are only using it as an excuse to get near and feel up on them.

      This is what happens when you give minimum wage jackasses with high school educations a little bit of power.

      • -

        They don’t just search people because of terrorism… She’s famous and stupid, it’s really not out of the realm of possibility that she was holding drugs.

        Oh but THE MAN.

      • Venom

        She is rich and famous, she does not need to travel with drugs, they have people no matter where they go that can get drugs for them if they want.

        When is the last time if ever have you seen a celeb busted for carrying drugs on an airplane? And regardless, that is what the drug dogs are for, or the full body x ray scanners that would actually show if someone was carrying drugs.

    • occam's boner

      You are a nice little useful idiot, aren’t you “lalala?”

  5. Not that she was ever the best looking thing to grace the planet but she should sue the hell out of whoever fucked up her face even worse.

  6. I’m gonna’ call her a liar on this one. I think, by this point, TSA agents know better than anyone that big fake boobs are great to look at, but kinda’ creepy to touch.

  7. JWoww Cleavage MTV Europe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like the movie “Twins”, with cum-stains.

  8. Deacon Jones

    Well, at least somebody has some balls and did what I wouldve done if I saw her in the security line.

    Only difference is, I wouldve started making random noises like that black guy in “Spaceballs” as I used the wand.

  9. I think a brisk wand between the legs would be sufficient.

  10. JWoww Cleavage MTV Europe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    They probably thought she was smuggling hams onto the flight in violation of airline snack food rules. Not because of her huge boobs, but because of her salty, meaty odor.

  11. She was alerted when she saw someone bringing extra boxes of rubber gloves to the security checkpoint. It’s the same thing that happens to her at the gynecologist.

  12. JWoww Cleavage MTV Europe Awards
    Risible Steve
    Commented on this photo:

    Midget Von Syphilis: Space Prostitute, as ever flanked by her long-time companion, Man-droid.

  13. Hakuin

    I’ve always considered Jersey Shore to be a terrorist act, bout time security started taking notice

  14. I Complain A Lot

    Not gonna lie, I’d fuck her so hard, after I was done, she’d know how to read

  15. JWoww Cleavage MTV Europe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    A: Conceived in 1985, over valued purchase price, low trade in value, promises to go 100,000 miles without a problem, crappy paint job, repeated facelifts, often modeled with additional accessories, comes with body-colored bumpers, may or may not include spare tire, comfortably holds 5, dumb spelling, can take up to 40 gallons.
    Q: What do JWoww and Hyundai have in common?

  16. Archies_Leach

    I can forgive all of JWoww’s transgressions as long as she keeps punching out the bitchuation.

  17. “…oblivious tit-box of dumb.”

    Fish, you goddamned wordsmith, you! Awesome!

  18. forrest gump

    but there is more, folks.
    ………….MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Balou

    I’m mostly impressed that she spelled additionally, deliberate and authority correctly.

  20. Clarence Beeks

    Her face is so worked on…..damn. She is turning into a Kardashian.

  21. JWoww Cleavage MTV Europe Awards
    Poppa Downer
    Commented on this photo:

    Jwoww always looks like she is poppin downer pills. She definitely gained her weight back and possibly more. She has fillers and botox in her grill, looks much older than her age, demi moore looks younger. haha

  22. JWoww Cleavage MTV Europe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Trogdor? The tattoo, I mean… not the other scaly beast.

  23. anniina

    Jesus what a moron.. I work as a security agent for airlines and yes we do pick people randomly for these searches all the time. Most people don’t take it personally but clearly this bitch has no clue about security procedures and why they are done. That’s our fucking job dumbass.

    • cc

      The search has nothing to do with anything…her name hadn’t cropped up enough lately and she it was a pretense to get her name out there again.

  24. skunk

    titty bitch



    *?* *:. .:*[[ REAL ]]*:. .:* *?*
    *?* *:. .:*[[ REAL ]]*:. .:* *?*
    *?* *:. .:*[[ TALK ]]*:. .:* *?*

  26. This whore has been touched by more than half of New Jersey. At least TSA wore protection.

  27. mel

    yeah, i don’t know who’d find this one attractive. she’s got a pretty nice ass i suppose, but goddammit is her mouth/nose area ever weird looking! and if i had to listen to that accented, nasal-honking voice of hers all the time, i’d deafen myself with chopsticks plunged into my ear drums. seriously, j-woww is not attractive dudes!

  28. mrsmass

    the dude who pointed probably has nothing to do with it. he was probably just making fun of her plastic surgery. If you’ve gone through security and are in the process of boarding a plane, can they randomly pull you off the plan to search again?! i’m suspect of her claims.

  29. D Rant

    Who the fuck is jwow???

  30. Crom

    Watch the documentary on youtube named “terrorstorm” its about government sponsored terror. How govts use terror they create to make police states designed to take away our libertys in the name of security. For example Hitler burned his own parlament building and blamed it on terrorists and thats how he rose to power then sicked his police against his own german police and everyone became a terrorist. he had fatherland security we have homeland security…the same bankers that financed hitler are financing this nazi country that is being built

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