The Teen Moms Have Great Ideas

May 6th, 2011 // 43 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

The Teen Moms are in front of the camera again, only this time, instead of cashing in on their poor life decisions and personal tragedies they’re joining forces to give kids a great alternative to unprotected sex: CUDDLING! I hate to be to one to break this news especially to the millions of women who have just hit pause on P.S. I Love You to read this, but men (let alone teenage boys) never want to cuddle. Ever. And that includes immediately after actually having sex. For a kid who hasn’t gotten laid cuddling is possibly with worst torture since the dry hand-job in the movie theater was invented. Allow me to present some less painful alternatives for these poor guys:

– Strike up a conversation about Glee with that chunky chick with the braces in the band.
– Carry this photo in your wallet and get it out when you “feel the urge.”
– Bang your boner against a brick wall.
– Use a condom.

Don’t thank me, I’m no hero. After all public service is a duty for us all. The Teen Mom PSA is here if you really want to check it out.

Photo: Flynet, INFdaily

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, May 9.

superficial

  1. Adam Lambert looks less and less feminine every time I see him.

  2. Any Guy

    looks like those vaginal warts are finally starting to spread – check that one on her left hand. how precious. hope she puts gloves on before she ‘cuddles’ someone else.

  3. Fi

    First!! teen moms suck!!!

  4. Cock Dr

    “men (let alone teenage boys) never want to cuddle. Ever. And that includes immediately after actually having sex. ”
    Such disinformation & shameful generalization of the male gender.
    Photo Boy fail.

  5. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    Something about this chic makes me want to fuck her so bad! I bet she has a wet snatch!

  6. Mandi

    Photo Boy… please never leave us.

  7. little turtle head

    Damn I wanna fuck the one in the pink dress! I bet her cooter tastes good!

  8. Method Roughing

    Well looks like all jokeksters have been disarmed with that solution…

  9. the captain

    just show her your bank(at least worth $25.00) and you’re allowed to f*ck her for free!!

  10. JC

    I think the PSA is awesome, because these chicks ARE the contraception. After watching it, my weenie crawled inside my abdomen and refuses to come out.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Quite obviously, the PSA will be a gigantic,”Fail” with some portion of the male population, since these piglets are all present in the PSA, because, somewhere, for some unknown reason, some guy actually got hard for them.

  11. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    Maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. Those are the pointiest shoes ever made. Hey…where’s his broom?

  12. I love this whole fuck up, get paid to fuck up, then get paid to tell others not to fuck up business model. Let me guess, the next step is doing a PSA for drunk driving and that you were just as shocked too that 5 year olds don’t make good designated drivers.

  13. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    HumpinFrog
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Magilla shaved and in a tutu?

  14. KumaTenshi

    I wish I hadn’t gotten knocked up and subsequently paid tons of money to be in a show, and for doing this ad and god knows how many other ads in the future. I really do wish that!! Really!!! Shut up about the money in my pocket fuck face!

    But of course, the problem is really MORONS that keep fucking watching the stupid show!!!!!

  15. This makes as much sense as having a person who won the lottery do a PSA saying “I wish I had never played the lottery, but had invested that dollar in Enron stock instead”.

  16. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    Roxi
    Commented on this photo:

    eww freddy kurgger look alike…. ps i dont like coach handbags anymore.

  17. They should have thought about cuddling nine months earlier. But then I know how difficult it is to turn down the argument, “come on, just the tip, I only want to see if it fits.”

  18. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    Mandi
    Commented on this photo:

    Wtf coat is that? Teen Mom was on in 1992?

  19. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    shes dressed like a fancy city girl!

  20. Ed

    Ms. Piggy use to have so much more dignity than this . . .

  21. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    S'up Bitches!
    Commented on this photo:

    Just goes to show that ugly people-whatever age, should NOT be allowed to have sex. EVER!

  22. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Maci Bookout”? I thought that was the name of Apple’s new gay laptop.

  23. Oh Snap

    This is almost as bad as Palin’s slut daughter and The Situation making that commercial for abstinence.

  24. What do you do here? Roll her in flour and cuddle the wet spot?

  25. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    What the deuce?
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a stunner.

  26. T1

    Honestly Hj’s (though never to climax) are my favorite form of non-penetrative sex, and when you can’t or don’t feel like having sex why not cuddle? though yeah, after sex, the energy that would be used to cuddle could already likely be spent.

    P.S. Ladies: I not only watch glee but would listen to you talk about it.

  27. KNOBGOBBLER3

    Spooning leads to forking!

    • auntie ettem

      YES!!! Which explains to my neighbors why they occasionally here the phrase “NO FORKING” yelled late at night from my bedroom (hey I’m trying to sleep).

  28. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    yo hand herpes

  29. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s from the halloween store, says Pink Ladies on the back

  30. Persistent Cat

    Of course she has a Coach purse.

  31. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    G-Star
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is this chick wearing? She lkooks like a fat pink lady from Grease.

  32. Anonymouse

    They should cuddle a box of condoms – and a box of birth control pills.

    ….then of course, use both.

    The world needs less bogans – or whatever you call them over there. Too bad they seem hell-bent on producing more boganspawn to polute our tv’s with. The only person who wins here will be Jerry Springer in about 20 years time.

  33. Teen Mom Cuddling PSA
    someone
    Commented on this photo:

    Kudos to these two, out of all the teen moms they actually placed their kid for adoption and gave their child a better life.

  34. JoeMomma

    Even Charlie Sheen would’nt fuck her, and he’d fuck anything.

  35. Angela

    This PSA announcement would probably be taken more seriously by struggling single mothers NOT wearing designer clothes and carrying Coach purses reaped from the benefits of said “unprotected sex”. You know, young girls who actually care about spreading a message and not just their legs for ad-money.

  36. lisa

    WHO ARES BOUT THESE PREGNANT WH*RES THERE ALL LOSERS!

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