Posted by Photo Boy
The Teen Moms are in front of the camera again, only this time, instead of cashing in on their poor life decisions and personal tragedies they’re joining forces to give kids a great alternative to unprotected sex: CUDDLING! I hate to be to one to break this news especially to the millions of women who have just hit pause on P.S. I Love You to read this, but men (let alone teenage boys) never want to cuddle. Ever. And that includes immediately after actually having sex. For a kid who hasn’t gotten laid cuddling is possibly with worst torture since the dry hand-job in the movie theater was invented. Allow me to present some less painful alternatives for these poor guys:
– Strike up a conversation about Glee with that chunky chick with the braces in the band.
– Carry this photo in your wallet and get it out when you “feel the urge.”
– Bang your boner against a brick wall.
– Use a condom.
Don’t thank me, I’m no hero. After all public service is a duty for us all. The Teen Mom PSA is here if you really want to check it out.
The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, May 9.