The Taylor Swift/Katy Perry Feud Just Hit Mafia Status

Can someone just schedule a cage match between these two and we can settle this once and for all? Two enter one leaves? I know DMX tried but neither seemed to have taken up crack and dogfighting so I guess that was a bust. The pettiness between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry is so palpable it tastes like a promotional flavor of fro-yo at Pinkberry (similar to Fresca). Today Taylor Swift took a page out of Gotti’s book and sabotaged the release of Katy Perry’s new album Witness (which I’m listening to now and hating every second) by unchaining her 1989 album and others from stream-bondage at Apple Music. It’s like if Katy Perry hyped up a bounce house BBQ and Swift moved in to stage a baby’s funeral next door. She’s pooping on her parade and since Taylor Swift lives off of a diet of kale, goji berries, and goat blood – her shit’s really messy and hard to ignore.

Once again, Swift and her people are brushing it off as “a total coincidence that may or may not have anything to do with particular individuals who may or may not have also said bad things about the family.”

Katy Perry’s new album sucks and I can say that because I just listened to half of it and turned it off once it got to that song about letting Migos eat her vagina on a sushi bar, but this feels like oligarchic bullying. The longer T Swift keeps silently gassing Perry, the closer we get to her getting desperate enough to go full Miley and start shoving things in her ass for attention- so there is something to look forward to?