The Superficial’s Top 25 Moments of 2011

December 30th, 2011 // 235 Comments
Best of 2011
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“Suck it, tall people.”

The Best of 2011 posts are great and everything, but let’s be honest, they’re purely dominated by tits, ass and somehow Lindsay Lohan because you people make me sick. Anyway, what falls through the cracks are the tender moments that truly reflect the human condition, but mostly involve Derek Jeter banging chicks and thanking them with sports memorabilia. So here are our favorite moments of 2011 that readers didn’t repeatedly click on because you’re too homophobic to appreciate the rich, sexual thunder of Alexander Skarsgard that thrusts its way into you and awakens a lust you yourself never knew existed.. is how Photo Boy described it. I’ve never seen those words before in my life. My diary’s a liar!

Back on Tuesday,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, GSI Media, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    ludichrisspeed
    Commented on this photo:

    Hooray for Austrian Sons of Anarchy Bob Barker

  2. Pippa Middleton Butt
    ludichrisspeed
    Commented on this photo:

    Amen. Standard ass fare, nothing more.

  3. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Wearing a cap that says “Kodak” sure didn’t help make it a Kodak Moment.

  4. Cock Dr

    All joking aside, this is a wonderful image. I hope to see lots more of the Dinkman in 2012.

  5. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Heinous.

  6. Samantha Slopes Cleavage Slash
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    1) Slash’s wife kicked this woman in the stomachS.
    2) The evils of on-line dating site doctored pics or “selective” face pics rear their ugly head yet again. (Unless this was the pic she posted, in which case Slash got his “Three Times A Lady” and can’t complain.)
    3) This woman will make a mint posing for novelty Christmas, Easter and Valentine’s Day cards (no doubt pouring chocolate sauce over her massive udders with a clever caption like ‘Sweets for Sweets, Baby! Come and get ‘em!”
    4) Slash is an idiot, and she used up her potential 15 minutes of fame squeezing her sagging baps together for the cameras. Ah, fleeting fame…

  7. Kelsey Grammer Kayte Walsh Make Out
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re still married too…..amazing.
    I guess she hasn’t yet tired of spending the money.

  8. January Jones Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks weird when she smiles. The ice bitch persona suits her much better.

    • It's the kimkim, bitches

      This must’ve been BEFORE she found out she was pregnant. Remember Natalie Portman’s face full of murder storming out of the doctor’s office? I like to think of that picture as the moment she found out she was pregnant.

    • Snack pack

      Add her to the list other women who should avoid smiling because it doesn’t work for them. Christina Hendricks and Victoria Beckham come to mind.

  9. Alexander Skarsgard
    suck it
    Commented on this photo:

    best part of 2011

    • My Right One

      Without a doubt. The Skarsgard became legendary during those few months. With tongue in cheek and raised glass in hand, I stand with Fish and wait for his return. As for the naysayers, this is a part of the penalty for greatness.

  10. Ryan Seacrest Fondles Julianne Hough Breast
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture always makes me laugh. And not just because of the boob grab; I also always wonder if he’s banging the brother.

  11. Benjamin Millepied Ballet Dancing
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    To bring forth the full wrath of judgemental sarcasm I would have to see him naked.

  12. Tom Brady Disneyland Waterslide
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Equally parts cute and goofy.

  13. Billy Ray Cyrus
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The corncob thingy on the counter probably doubles as a Cyrus household sex toy.

  14. Alexander Skarsgard
    Jez
    Commented on this photo:

    It took me a long time to finally find other ways to occupy my time than wait for Fish to find the best song to go with another skarsgaaaaaard post

  15. Anthony Weiner
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone with insight into why he did it (with so very very much to lose when, not if, caught) is cordially invited to comment.

    • Snack pack

      CD, I hear what you are saying, but I think it is simple. A lot of guys, especially powerful ones, think they are untouchable and omnipotent. Add testosterone (perhaps enhanced by whatever juice this guy might be on) to that feeling of self-importance and it is a wonder why we don’t see a story like this monthly. Come to think of it, scandalous stories about those in power hardly stand out any more.

  16. Shia LaBeouf
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    How this guy is a movie star I just don’t understand.

  17. Peter Dinklage
    Linds
    Commented on this photo:

    Hurry up season 2!!!!!!!!

  18. Pippa Middleton Butt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The UK must be barren of decent ass fare. That’s the only thing that can explain the press’s infatuation with this gal’s perfectly ordinary backside.

  19. Pippa Middleton Butt
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s nothing to get–which is the crux of the problem.

  20. January Jones Cleavage
    Linds
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah she looks fugly smiling

  21. Satan's bitch

    Happy New Year to ye, Fish and Photo Boy!

  22. Hailey Osmeth

    So sad to read Ruseel is divorcing Katy, they were so fun.

  23. Weston Cage Karate Kick
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Has he been discharged from whatever mental health facility he was admitted to yet?

  24. Derek Jeter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    A woman can’t go wrong by assuming any male star professional athlete is simply crawling with STDs.

  25. Hugh Hefner Planking
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor old feller. How’d he let those bimbos talk him into this stupid stunt?

  26. Amanda Seyfried Stuffed Dead Baby Horse
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahahaha! Dead horse. Ha!

  27. Pippa Middleton Butt
    conejo
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly ass

  28. Benjamin Millepied Ballet Dancing
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I really wouldn’t have guessed that someone who twirls/prances for a living would get the gift of unprotected sex with Natilie Portman. I probably would’ve guessed power forward for the NY Knicks ahead of a twirler/prancer.

  29. Pippa Middleton Butt
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What don’t you guys get? If 102,372 people all died at the same time, she (along with that “ass”) would be next in line to be Queen.

  30. Peter Dinklage
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    P-Dink !

  31. Alexander Skarsgard
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There are worse ways to end the year. Thought for sure we’d be treated to yet another shot of the Miami Beach workout bimbo and her bodacious buttocks/bolt ons.
    The storky Skarsgard is nice enough, but he’ll never be Viggo no matter how hard he tries.
    Happy New Year ya’ll.

    • Snack pack

      I’m no fan of his, but 2012 would be great if he displaced Paltrow wherever she tries to show up next year.

      Happy New Year CD, Fish, Photo-boy, the rest of the commenters, and the Superfish vsitors!!!

  32. Hugh Hefner Planking
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo was widely misunderstood…Hef was attempting to start a new meme, called “stroking”

  33. Sarah Palin
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What 3 things were written on her hand when this photo was taken?

  34. January Jones Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t forget the part where The Superficial used some idiot commenter’s late-night musings to start a brand new Internet rumor about her baby daddy’s possibly being Xander Berkeley, based on the most bullshit supposition imaginable. “She secretly told the world who the father is by naming her son after him.” Ha! What a crock.

  35. Pippa Middleton Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    And the award for “Most Overrated Ass of 2011″ goes to…

  36. Pippa Middleton Butt
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, you’re the one paying for the pictures

  37. Sarah Palin
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    1) remember to wear push up bra
    2) when Willow says a boy is staying over, it might involve her coming into intimate contact with a penis
    3) SarahPAC supporters deserve to be fleeced for the greater good

  38. Alexander Skarsgard
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Just wanted to mention any coolness or hotness that guy once allegedly possessed has been irreparably compromised by appearing in the agonizing, overwrought, and pretentious ‘Melancholia’.

  39. A better closeout would have bee a “best of” for TMIPOTI, or best caption for most of these pictures, because there were some downright hilarious ones. This is just a condensed version of what you’ve been doing all week.

    Son, I am disappoint.

    • That being said, Happy New Year errbody!

    • Not even. You and McFeely have me beat by quality *and* quantity by a country mile. I just love the feature.

    • Frank Burns

      Yes, I too was hoping for an all-out salute, “The Witticisms and Comedic Insights of Commenter Frank Burns: A 2011 Tribute” with several ribald shots of me in my red Speedo for the ladies. But alas, my genius remains unrecognized. For the lady readers, though, we can still arrange the Speedo shots.

  40. Peter Dinklage
    Difficult Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    So much awesome in such a small package!

  41. Shia LaBeouf
    Difficult Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this mean that anyone wanting to beat up ‘The Beef’ needs to take their shirt off?

  42. Derek Jeter
    Difficult Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    I am very concerned about my brother. He has an autographed Jeter baseball.

  43. Tom Brady Disneyland Waterslide
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    Still makes me laugh. Just looking at it I can HEAR the childlike glee of his squeal.

  44. Pippa Middleton Butt
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t she have butt pads in the dress that started the whole sensation anyway? Why when talking about this do people never show the picture of what started it all.

  45. January Jones Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s mine. And it was worth it.

  46. Kelsey Grammer Kayte Walsh Make Out
    Alice
    Commented on this photo:

    I said, let me try on your goddamn panties!

  47. Tom Brady Disneyland Waterslide
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    If Gisele Bündchen’s pussy was at the bottom waiting for me, I’d squeal to, amongst other things.

  48. Samantha Slopes Cleavage Slash
    Emersom Bigguns
    Commented on this photo:

    Mercy.

  49. Billy Ray Cyrus
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Party in your taco!

  50. Hugh Hefner Planking
    sprub
    Commented on this photo:

    That table has been airbrushed to Playboy’s official specs.

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