The Superficial Just Got Upgraded, Son

November 2nd, 2011 // 76 Comments
Rihanna Drunk Kadooment Day

After months of teasing you like the little tease I am, welcome to our new and improved The Superficial, meticulously engineered for your clicking pleasure.

Right off the bat we have faster, prettier galleries that hopefully don’t deprive you of precious celebrity scheissefruit. (I’m pretty sure I used that right.) On top of that, Photo Boy and I have more versality to highlight saucy pics all throughout the posts like the little box in the corner linking to Rihanna’s Drunken Butt Fest.

Or this little feature linking to Rihanna’s Drunken Butt Fest Part 2:

You’ll also notice a sweet little carousel up top of each posts (only on the permalinks) highlighting the day’s hotness.

So in a way, we built you a high-speed drunken butt delivery device which is how I’ve always envisioned the site.

In the meantime, we’ll be adding all kinds of new features – Looking at you, commenting. – and tinkering under the hood, so bear with us if things go a little funky now and then.

Hopefully you guys like the new changes. I personally want to impregnate each and every one of these new widescreen banner pics that I’ll be ridiculously anal about choosing just like every banner pic since I mounted this Interweb steed so many moons ago.

Go easy on her,

- The Superficial


  1. Roberta

    Looks good…where’s the Skarsgard goodness? Hurry, Fish!

    • eatme

      …the gallery here was shit once it changed to the carousel gallery many months ago. Its even worse now.

      • please hire a decent web dev

        going downhill…can’t wait until the site turns into an epic crapfest of javascript and flash with those single image per page galleries.

  2. I’m moist with anticipation.

  3. I enjoy these new upgrades greatly.

  4. moodlet

    BOOM! Looks great

  5. Jen

    It’s beautiful. I now feel even more justified in my (multiple) daily visits to this site!

  6. sc4play

    Great jpb, youse guys!

  7. Mike Walker

    There should be gallery scroll arrows on the first page of the article. As it is, and was, we have to open a pic in order to scroll through the pics.

    • Mike Walker

      The RSS links now go to the first photo page which practically solves that issue, although you have to click back to the story to see the main comments section.

  8. Mmmmmm… upgrades :)))
    Is veddy nize, yezz! Wider Superficial ftw.

    Great job dudes :)

  9. I'm FURIOUS with rage.

    The ONLY thing that needed (and still needs changing) is the photo nav. Having to refresh the page for each photo really takes up a lot of time when I could be complaining on website comment sections.

    • Derp

      This is intentional. Page hits and counts are important if you want to stay competitive on search engines and rankings. Especially in this line of business.

      Get used to it.

      • bob the banker

        Places like TMZ have ajax galleries why not here too? Most analytics are wise to this anyway, they won’t count the same visitor clicking through the photos.

        Good job so far Fish!

    • yup

      agreed. the most annoying part about this site is the whole page needs to load when you change pictures. this upgrade is worthless.

  10. I’m sure the new layout is UHMAAAYZZIIIING!!! but I’m quite concerned about how it looks on my end. I’m guessing if I give it a few minutes it shall be all primped and ready to go, unless Superficial Writer wants the right side stories to scream at me like that and interrupt what I’m reading. Hmm… maybe.

  11. jaded_geek

    Thanks for not remembering to roll it out to your mobile viewers, jackasses.

  12. Boring request

    Fish – can you please make it so that I can use the arrow buttons to move through the galleries rather than having to click each time? Thanks

  13. A

    Photo galleries would be so much easier in a pop up flash gallery!

  14. Venom

    It is getting better. I wish I could scroll through by swiping by using multi-touch, that would be cool.

  15. Bananas

    Upgrades, and yet you couldn’t add a simple JS gallery so you don’t have to reload the page 8,000 times to view images? Mad sadness. Fire your web devs.

  16. TRON

    Still need to update the photo viewer so when you put up a post with like 20+ photos, I don’t have to re-scroll through the thumbs on the bottom each time I load a single photo. The two elements should be separate and not force a new pageload each time you click a thumb.

    • nerd

      it works for me. if you click on like thumbnail 4, the bottom thumbs under the big photos is on “4 of 10″ … more simply, whatever thumb you click on, that’s the most left thumb when it loads that photo.

  17. fehr

    boo. galleries still slow.

  18. scribbels

    The only thing that would make this upgrade more epic would be if we could vote for each others’ comments.

    Oh, and how many Facebook logins you get so far?

  19. The layout works for me.. good jobs.

  20. Gallery User

    Yes PLEASE, add a AJAX gallery viewer, reloading an entire page for a picture is REALLY REALLY FRUSTRATING!

  21. Ha Ha

    Of all the pics to be the first ones shown under the new format, you had to give us ol’ gorilla forehead rihanna, the queen of dumbassery. A pox on you…

  22. TomFrank

    Where are the Next Story/Previous Story links? Gone?

    • and the cancel button on comment box. used them often :-)
      also would have loved the next/prev buttons on the pics bar on the front page rather than having to click into photos first.. do appreciate the fixed and more obvious search window.

      • Tech Boy

        Re: cancel button — what were you using this for? If you want to reply elsewhere on the page, say you accidentally start replying to one comment, you can simply hit any of the other reply buttons to jump to that comment. Give me some more insight so we can best figure out how solve the functionality you’re aiming for.

        Re: next/prev on the thumbnail strip on the front page — this would have rather large page performance implications. With the new upgrades, we now have a new concept operating behind the scenes, whereby the system detects the main tag featured in the gallery and pre-fetches every older gallery with the same tag and displays those thumbnails in the carousel beneath a photo in a gallery.

        If we did this on the homepage, then we’d have to run this for 5 thumbnail strips — which makes the page heavy.

        That being said, we like the idea so we’re investigating if we can clean up that pre-fetching to maybe just give you scrollable ability for the photos in that specific gallery. Good feedback, thanks. Stay tuned.

  23. Richard McBeef

    Finally, a celeb gossip website that utilizes the latest cum drop technology and other microsoft paint tools.

  24. Thrilled to know that you and Photo Boy now have more versality to highlight saucy pics. When a saucy pic demands highlighting, versality can be the difference between success and suc.

    Had to reset my password in order to share my stream of consciousness. Imagine my underwhelm-ment (I made that up and have no guilt because here at The Superficial we’re all about versality) when the page that greeted me was the standard WordPress Blah Blah landing page.

    You’re welcome.

  25. Snack pack

    Hey, I’ve enjoyed the site for a long time, and I appreciate the efforts to make it better still. Carry on!

  26. This new site is awesome. I can now masturbate to celeb tits AND write smarmy comments AT THE SAME TIME!!

    Thank you Fish!

  27. forrest gump

    it’s more or less the same, mom.

  28. Jon and Kate plus Hate

    She is waiting for my man hose !!! I can tell !!

  29. tlmck

    Good job.

  30. SFfan

    I miss the links to other sites on the sidebar, the blog roll. I won’t be visiting the site nearly so often without the links portal (it’s the thing that makes the site worth visiting several times a day despite your relatively lower posting frequency). If the blog roll does not return in the next few days this site will leave my daily bookmarks and become a once-in-a-while place to visit.

    • WTF

      so you’re saying the only reason you come to the site is to use the right side blog roll (circa 2001 internet coolness) to navigate your daily web browsing? that makes no sense.

      that’s like saying you visit for erectile dysfunction & skin-cream banner ads. “No thank you to the news, I want to click ads instead.”

      you’re probably just a site-owner of one of the sites that used to be listed there and now you’re upset that Fish isn’t sending you traffic anymore.

  31. maeby

    cant we just have full-size images be the default after you click on the thumbnail? no one’s on 56k anymore, its a real hassle to have click to full view on every pic

  32. ADAPT, people, adapt. It wasn’t all that long ago that someone’s describing a blog that occasionally shows “nekkid gurls’” private parts, with room for comments, etc. would have seemed like nothing more than a stoner’s head trip.

  33. PS: I think Rihanna is smokin’ hot, and those of you who don’t like her, thank you for bringing the competitors’ list down just that much more…

  34. Greg Suarez

    How about a fucking Android app already?!?!

  35. L

    I’m just wondering, what happened to the related posts on each post? I was looking for something but I couldn’t remember which post it was in and it was easier with the related posts listed under. Otherwise, I like the new layout.

  36. Waldo

    First gMail and now you Fish?? Say it ain’t say! Actually, this is pretty baller. Kudos on streamlining my time wasting experience!

  37. Looks good, gents. Onward and upward.

  38. Iv Moony

    Congrats guys! You´re still my No.1 entertainment site in the whole cyber universe. I feel like you´re the drunken uncomfortable uncle i never hard, and i really appreciate you being there whenever i feel like watching Lindsay Lohan throw her life away, it´s just priceless. Fish, Photo Boy you´re rockstars, keep up the good work!

  39. Whaaa?

    Looks great!

  40. Now please get rid of “The Crap We Missed”, it’s boring and a waste of space.

  41. kimmykimkim

    Looks good, Fish. I’d fuck it in the butt.

  42. Sara

    Still not loving how when you scroll through the pictures and click on one, it takes you back to the start of the pictures, so you have to scroll through again. I don’t look at all 40 pictures on a post, but I do like to check out a few choice ones.

    Also I’m getting 2 new Google Reader entries for every one of your posts – one for the photos, and one for the story.

    • Tech Boy

      We’ve got a fix in for the double Google Reader / RSS bug that should be going out later today. Stay tuned.

    • Tech Boy

      Can you give me more explanation for your first issue? The thumbnail behavior is functioning as intended right now. It shouldn’t take you back to the “start of the pictures.”

      For example, if I click on the 3rd thumbnail of a gallery in a post (or from the Home page), it will take me to photo #3 in the gallery and the thumbnail carousel beneath the photo adjusts to make #3 the far left thumbnail (allowing you to see #4, 5, 6, 7, etc).

      If I click then to say, photo #7, the page refreshes to photo #7, and the thumbnail for #7 is now the first in the carousel, with 8, 9, 10, etc next up.

      This is a new experience from the old site and should not be doing what you described in your comment.

      I took a video of how I experience what I described above: – Let me know if something is different than this for you.

      • Sara

        Sweet, both things are working as assumed! Maybe it was just my cache playing tricks on me. You guys are awesome! :D

  43. She looks so trashy and dirty…

  44. zomgbie

    this new site design has me saying bye.
    just too many click throughs deletes any interest.

  45. sobrietyisacrutch

    I like that my sign-in info is already up. Let’s see if I come in purple or black.

  46. VICTORY!
    Now, how’s about that edit button?

  47. happy pelvic thrust

    :) i’ve been reading this site for years. this post makes me happy

  48. a cure for gout

    You have done a formidable job.

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