The Stupidest Quote I’ve Ever Seen in My Life

August 4th, 2010 // 33 Comments
Jeremy London

Jeremy London‘s wife Melissa Cunningham has basically come forward to reveal that the actor was trying to “score drugs” the night he was allegedly kidnapped and forced to take all the drugs he’s addicted to. Except even after being aware of this fact – and presumably possessing a modicum of common sense – check out the Palm Springs Police Department’s official statement to RadarOnline regarding the investigation then try not to let your brain punch through your skull to get to the monitor:

“Right now, Jeremy London is a victim and there is no reason at this point to believe that he is lying to us.”

No reason, huh? I have three words for you: Six. Feet. Under.

Christ, after this incident, I don’t see how anyone in Palm Springs can ever feel comfortable calling the police again. “Ma’am, I understand you want to charge this man with mugging you, but based on the statement he gave us, he was simply taking his handgun for a peaceful walk when you threw your purse at him forcing him to buy expensive electronics on the Internet with your credit card. So clearly he’s the victim here and we’ll believe anything he says. Lock her up.”

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Sardonic

    His Real Doll is looking haggard. I hope the warranty hasn’t expired yet.

  2. M

    Ugh she is hideous.

  3. Derwood Duh

    Melissa Cunt-ingham?

    What a little plastic whore.

  4. FuckYouFish!

    So… in your analogy… the mugged woman (the victim) stands for the drugs that Jeremy London took?

  5. Slappy Magoo

    Just one of those things that sucks about being a cop. If there’s an investigation pending, to even hint that there might possibly someday be charges against him, then the case is screwed. So they err on the side of caution, imply that they have no reason to not believe him. Even at the risk of sounding like a complete boob.

  6. KIKI

    The police could arrest the Dali Lama for this stupid crime and not admit that they were wrong. What is wrong with this cuntry? I hope the sucker sitting in jail gets out soon.

  7. jim x

    Seems they don’t want to release the guys they’ve got in custody. I’m sure it has nothing to do with their skin pigmentation and a local sherriff seeking reelection.

  8. kara

    she is so fucking gross. like, i can’t even look at her

  9. ROUGH standing in sushi

    A delusional crack head with his own Claudia Shiffer? That bastard still doing better than I am…

  10. Confused

    So that woman looks in the mirror and thinks she looks good…?

  11. rican

    She looks like Chris Rock in white and drag

  12. Annabelle Chonie

    My question is: Was he IN the Six Foot Under episode that depicts this despicable farce or did he just catch it on HBO late night?

  13. rican

    I’d still do her anyway

  14. ROUGH standing in sushi

    You think that was an endorsement? I have failed you…I’m sorry

  15. Turd Ferguson

    The perfect whacked out Hollywood couple.
    He may have even leapfrogged Lohan in my dead pool.

  16. groucho

    she is one scary dude.

  17. JoeC

    That bitch looks like they tooj Howdy Doody and slapped a wig and some tits on him. I think FUGLY is the scientific term.

  18. can you really blame the guy for being a hardcore addict when he has to wake up to THAT, *without makeup* next to him every morning?

  19. Micklen

    When did Jimmy Carter go tranny?

  20. ROUGH standing in sushi

    That’s some funny shit right there…If she trolls the superficial and has Heidi Montag’s outlook on things she might fill these pages with materials…

  21. Michelle

    What the fuck is wrong with her head? Everything inside and out is just wrong.

  22. rocket

    yikes – she’s got fake tits where her cheeks should be! wait!! she’s got fake cheeks where her tits should be!! good work, wonkzilla…

  23. captain america

    well, they both sure look like MORONS to me.

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