The Situation is Classically Handsome

April 4th, 2011 // 82 Comments

Against all logic and reason, The Situation might have made $5 million last year, but apparently decided GTDL doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Namely the one encased in a yellow tomb of filth. “Let me outta here! I’ve seen things, man! I’ve seen things. Don’t make me go in Pauly D’s ass again, please, for the love of- *sniff sniff* Why do I smell coconut butter.. with a hint of garlic? Ohmygod, it’s happening again! You sonofoabitch. *tries to crawl down throat* Eh.. nnff.. eh.. stupid throat cancer, always blocking my way…”

Photos: Splash News


  1. N

    He still looks like squidward.

    • Ed

      He looks bad enough to be even MY ugly wingman . . . looks like it’s the grenade again for you Sitch.

    • Nancy Pelosi

      If his face looks like that, imagine what his backsteroid induced backne looks like? Jesus it looks like my old lady’s rag on a bad day. On the plus side, his eyebrows are more nicely manicured than her bush though. So, plus one for the sitch.

      You can’t spell situationisacollassaldouchebag without situation.

    • Squidward is better looking.

    • My Name Peggy

      I’d say he looks like Bert from Bert and Ernie.

    • Actually it’s been bothering me all day, because I knew his face looked too familiar. His name’s not Mike. He’s actually the Chupacabra! It really does exist!

  2. Doc Scweinstrudel

    And retarded in an avant garde way

  3. TomFrank

    Zilly, translate.

  4. Jovy

    I can’t believe it’s not gingivitis.

  5. friendlystoner

    my teeth arent even that yellow and i`m a brit who smokes.

    • uncle ruckus

      Little known fact: anal secretions will stain teeth quicker than coffee – looga dat splotchy skin too – sure signs of the onset of the aids

  6. He just split an industrial size bag of Cheetos with Snookie, maybe?

  7. Jess

    He wanted grills but accidentally ordered 24 carrot ones

  8. Drew

    To be fair, it looks like the guy just finished eating. Sorry, but tooth decay and/or stains aren’t bright orange like that.

    Obviously not appealing regardless, but good lord you’re stretching lately.

  9. Does he just wipe his face up into his hair to get that greasy slicked back effect?

    • The Critical Crassness

      No,he just sticks his head between J-woww’s breast after one of her photo shoots!

  10. antoine bugleboy

    Next time close your mouth when you go spray tanning.

  11. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:


  12. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    I just threw up.

  13. KayKay

    He took the phrase “say cheese” literally….

  14. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    trim your fucking nose hairs dipshit…

  15. RebelMinion

    We are all agreed that this meat sack puts the “Douche” in “Douchebag” … right?

  16. KayKay

    who ordered the Pepperoni with extra cheese?

    (you know…cuz he’s greasy and cheesy)

  17. KayKay

    MTV very well knows that brushing teeth isn’t part of Sitch’s contract

  18. oh i know

    may i also add FLOSS and NOSE-HAIR-CLIPPERS???? yuck!!

    • ok…. I’ve googled “GTDL” and all I get is some random shit from Spain. Waht is GTDL?

      • Googler

        I can get part of the way there. I googled it too but added “Situation”. GTL means Gym, Tan Laundry, his catchphrase, according to urbandictionary.

  19. Dan

    I never really understood why he was considered attractive – he has fake abs, tan, and personality. But really, ragging on his slightly discolored teeth? really?

    There are so many other things to give him grief about… why stretch?

  20. Chinto

    23 pics and the asshat didn’t show his abs once. This is a first.

    • the only opinion that matters

      His abs are the only part of him remotely worth looking at. How did such an ugly dumb ass bunch of people become wealthy (somewhat) and famous? WTF is wrong with everybody?

  21. I wonder what he got on his S.A.T.s? 399?

    • devilsrain

      Do you not get a 400 for writing your name?

      • The Critical Crassness

        In Jersey, you get 499 for having the Monitor at the testing center write your name and then having you acknowledge it with your “X”.

  22. Deacon Jones

    He looks like he washed his face with a Whopper.

  23. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    This is obviously the result of a whole new STD that you can only get from going down on a miniature Chilean water buffalo.

  24. dani

    Nice scabies!

  25. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    Things that must go: corn teeth.

    • DirtyGirl

      5 million Dollars in 2010 and he still can’t afford a good dental hygienist to fix the candy corn teeth?!? ABSURD

  26. Nasty. Seeing that picture just made MY gums bleed and I brush regularly.

  27. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    What a nasty greasy scumbag.

    I love the ring around the collar and the nose hair too.

  28. Seen here promoting his latest endeavor. Tired of white pasty teeth? Give them that dark healthy tone with “The Sitch’s Tooth Tanner”.

  29. Rough, it takes a village

    haha I always knew Tan, Gym and Laundry trumps all other hygienic practice.

    The Stitch validates my belief. Now I await the Surgeon General.

  30. Anon

    If “classically handsome” is defined as “gayer than 8 guys fucking 9 guys,” then, yeah – he’s classically handsome.

  31. Lita

    Hey classically douche guy, it’s called a toothbrush. Try using one.

  32. XL

    I’d comment but I have no idea who this ugly is or why I should care. So I won’t :p

  33. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    At least he has his real teeth–not those chiclet veneers they all get these days. I’m tired of 20 year olds looking like they have dentures.

  34. I went to school with the situation.. not trying to sound gay but when we were in showers at gym I glanced over and I will tell you he has a fucking huge cock! I’m not gay though…….

  35. the one

    …….just VOMIT & say nothing!!

  36. GrandCyclops

    He looks like he has a mouth full of Corn Pops cereal

  37. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    If we could just harvest the oil off this guy’s skin we’d be on our way to energy independence.

  38. SuperficialAdmin

    ugly ass fucker

  39. Eric

    I have nothing. This douche makes more than I do.

    • Dread not

      My dog makes more than you do when he takes a shit in the yard.

      Hey Sitch! You’re supposed to spray tan your skin only, not your teeth, a-hole!

  40. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    New trend – flossing with nose hair.

  41. 88 Fingers

    Nice length on those nose hairs. You could braid those puppies.

  42. HLM

    Zoom whitening costs less than a few months of a gym membership. Just sayin’, Sitch.

  43. Chicklette

    I’m tired of gay men telling us what men and women are attractive.

  44. yawn

    men commenting on another man’s looks.. yeah that’s not gay =0

    the guy is harmless.. seems nice enough.. is enjoying life.. and relatively positive.. good for him..
    hating for hates sake is old..
    be more positive people.

  45. ScarySpice

    Who would fuck this thing? Are girls that desperate?

  46. Michelle

    Ok nose hair, greasy face, yellow teeth, not funny and has the personality of a wet rag… maybe next we find out he smells like swass. He is still going to score more than anyone I know. The human race is in some serious trouble.

  47. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    I just threw up on my desk. Then I sprayed it with cologne and gave it a reality tv show. It was a hit, no surprises there.

  48. The Situation Yellow Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure if i’m more disgusted that he wears crosses or that massive herpes outbreak on his face.

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