The Situation: Why I ‘Love Tapped’ Snooki

October 8th, 2010 // 35 Comments

Please say because she’s a Nazi. Please say because she’s a Nazi. Please say because she’s a Nazi…

Seen here at Binghamton University yesterday – Courtesy pause so you can transfer your kid. – Snooki was apparently slapped in the face by The Situation on last night’s episode of Jersey Shore. I have no idea if this really happened because I spend my time wisely getting blackout drunk, but here’s The Situation defending himself to MTV News:

“Snooki sometimes drinks a little too much,” he explained to MTV News. “She is unaware of her surroundings and unaware of what’s going on. Everybody was leaving, and she was the only one staying there. We usually go as a group and stay as a group. To avoid what happened in season one, I really wanted to try and keep an eye on her and not necessarily slap some sense into her, but let her know, ‘Hey, you can’t be here by yourself. You’re a little girl, and the whole group was leaving.’ It was a little love tap.”
… “It’s not like I punched somebody in the face,” he continued. “It’s not like I did a full smack, a hard smack. It was a little tap to her cheek. Like, ‘Wake up, you’re going to get hurt.’”

Didn’t want her to get punched again? Love tap? Sense? Wow, this guy really needs to fire his publicist. Market research clearly shows people would’ve responded better had The Situation’s fist caved Snooki’s midget face into a cloud of shamrocks and condoms just for blinking funny. Seriously, she’s like Tila Tequila at this point. You can legally kick her into a woodchipper.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Livinius Nwambe

    So… I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that he slapped her with what he thought was a justification that she ‘might have something bad happen again’, or the fact that she was irresponsible enough to get falling-down drunk, has been arrested for it before, and NOBODY THINKS SHE MIGHT HAVE A GODDAMN PROBLEM

    • 5 knuckle shuffle

      WHO CARES??? He should have done the 5 knuckle shuffle across her jaw.

      Jersey Girls Aint Trash (trash gets picked up)

  2. Marley

    YAAAYYYYY

  3. Finally, something on that show worth watching. One douchebag punching another in the face until there’s just a bloody puddle of chunky blood left.

    That’s how it went down in my mind…

    • On Drugs Today

      I was thinking the SAME thing. I purposely boycotted this show, because if I watched it at all, I would have to rip up my degree in front of my parents…devoiding my sense of reasoning and lack of good judgment for watching a show such as this.

  4. molly

    i was in a great mood when i woke up today after a dream that they all died in horrific accidents. i convinced myself it was true. then i read this. brb suicide

  5. I think I would rather see the Wookie (below) nude than view any pics of this fat little fucktard.

  6. Id hit it. Like mussolini

  7. GravyLeg

    Someone needs to give her a Dirty Hitler to go with that Zig Heil…

  8. Snooki at Binghamton University
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    What is she doing?

  9. Rhialto

    She got to stretch those short limps a bit more! But why can’t even 6-inch heels make her legs look longer?!

  10. Steelerchick

    The hot guy shouldn’t be getting to close unless he wants an STD!!!!

  11. Dr. Nero

    Unfortunally i’m not a veterinary surgeon.Otherwise i could help her to stretch her limps.

  12. Snooki at Binghamton University
    real deal
    Commented on this photo:

    caption “Heil Hitler, and donuts”

  13. Ashley

    Binghamton’s attractions include: Rod Sterling’s house, The Americans Civic Associations memorial and Snooki!

    Boy we’re an exciting place. What the heck was she doing here anyway?

  14. Go O'Donnell Yourself!

    ‘Wake up, you’re going to get hurt. And I’m going to be the one that hurts you.’

  15. sobrietyisacrutch

    I’m just amazed this show is still on. Is it THAT good? If anyone can provide proof that there is a direct tie between high ratings and this oompa-loompa purse pet being pummeled on a regular basis, I’ll TIVO the shit myself.

  16. Bow Down Assholes

    Weren’t the physically deformed and mentally inferior the first to go during the third reich? That little Ewok wouldn’t have stood a chance. Schindler wouldn’t have even wanted her.

  17. On Drugs Today

    “Is anyone here a fan of shirts?” (Raises hand) “OK, so lets ‘shirt-it-up!”

  18. It´s me

    Ugly and stupid – Dreamwoman

  19. Ned

    Stop it you haters. She’s not pretty, but she’s sexy. I’d swim in a pool filled with her bowel movements.

  20. BigDickJones

    These Jersey cunts need to stay the fuck home.

  21. Northern Tool

    Contrived and insipid. Reality tv – my ass.

  22. slapkatyperry

    If you’re going to knock some sense in to snooki you need more than a open hand slap, Try a Mack dump truck;

  23. Whiskey

    You are SUCH a SADIST Fish, you are sick you know that
    Why do you keep psoting pictures of this fat pig,
    I think when you post them you are lauhghing your butt off and, I guess is the same feeling someone has when they are about to hunt a deer, except we are the deer and instead of hunting you are throwing Dynamite into hour heads

    shame fish, shame shame

  24. codapea

    She looks exactly like Marilyn from Northern Exposure with the over-sized shirt, stretch pants, and tan boots.

    • gaag

      HOLY SH!T Dude you are right!
      totally looks like her, omg, wow, i had to google it but yeah looks like a younger Marilyn,
      except this one is more deformed looking and more gross

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  26. Snooki at Binghamton University
    bx
    Commented on this photo:

    she dancing dont you guys see the stupid dance she does. ugh

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