The Situation: Why I ‘Love Tapped’ Snooki

Please say because she’s a Nazi. Please say because she’s a Nazi. Please say because she’s a Nazi…

Seen here at Binghamton University yesterday – Courtesy pause so you can transfer your kid. – Snooki was apparently slapped in the face by The Situation on last night’s episode of Jersey Shore. I have no idea if this really happened because I spend my time wisely getting blackout drunk, but here’s The Situation defending himself to MTV News:

“Snooki sometimes drinks a little too much,” he explained to MTV News. “She is unaware of her surroundings and unaware of what’s going on. Everybody was leaving, and she was the only one staying there. We usually go as a group and stay as a group. To avoid what happened in season one, I really wanted to try and keep an eye on her and not necessarily slap some sense into her, but let her know, ‘Hey, you can’t be here by yourself. You’re a little girl, and the whole group was leaving.’ It was a little love tap.”
… “It’s not like I punched somebody in the face,” he continued. “It’s not like I did a full smack, a hard smack. It was a little tap to her cheek. Like, ‘Wake up, you’re going to get hurt.'”

Didn’t want her to get punched again? Love tap? Sense? Wow, this guy really needs to fire his publicist. Market research clearly shows people would’ve responded better had The Situation’s fist caved Snooki’s midget face into a cloud of shamrocks and condoms just for blinking funny. Seriously, she’s like Tila Tequila at this point. You can legally kick her into a woodchipper.

Photos: Splash News