The Situation Wasn’t In Rehab, Just An Undisclosed Location Free Of Coke So He Could Rehabilitate

March 21st, 2012 // 25 Comments
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Nope, cocaine had nothing to do with any of these poses.

Posted by Photo Boy

Despite being outed recently as both broke and gay by Snooki – Two things that would drive any closeted vain-glorious moron to dive headfirst into a g-string full of blow. – The Situation, through his rep and Twitter, has denied claims that he’s been in rehab for the past few weeks. TMZ reports:

A rep for the Situation just contacted TMZ to say they are not confirming that Mike is in rehab … just that he “has spent the past several weeks at an undisclosed location for much needed rest and recuperation after his extensive production and appearance schedule.

There’s nothing more exhausting than living at the beach, getting hammered and nailing skanks for millions of dollars a year. I can’t believe he doesn’t have to roll an IV drip around with him. Grueling career requirements notwithstanding, The Situation has agreed to the next season already.

MTV EXEC: So we’d love to have you back this season.
SITUATION: I’m really exhausted, you guys, you’re gonna to have to sweeten the deal.
MTV EXEC: Vinny will bang you.
SITUATION: Where do I sign?

Photo: Splash News

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  1. EricLr

    Somewhere there is a rehab center orderly burning a bunch of oily sheets.

    • Richard McBeef

      I’ll I need to do is record myself talking about this global jihad business and death to america, put it on youtube, and then start collecting checks? Fuck me, let’s do this son.

  2. Angie

    I actually met this retardo once. I was like “wow, are you that homo from MTV”, and he was like “Whatcha talkin’ ’bout, bitch,” and I’m like “Who you callin’ a bitch, bitch”, and he like started to cry and ran off like a little bitch!

  3. LJ

    “A rep for the Situation just contacted TMZ to say they are not confirming that Mike is in rehab …..”

    No denial that he’s in rehab in that statement!

  4. You guys keep calling him gay and he’s going to have no choice but to beat the hell out of Rhianna.

  5. MarkM

    I guess he’d better go to a place with no penis next.

  6. merciful percival

    he performs that high leg kick whenever the butt plug starts to move towards the exit – it gives him the sensation of a helmet poking his spleen

  7. Joaquin ingles

    How many weird kids does Nic Cage have?

  8. Austin (Danger) Powers

    3 weeks off? I bet he gained ten pounds = goodbye six-pack!

  9. bdog821

    You can’t rehab what ails this asshole.

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      There’s nothing wrong with this douche that a miracle or death can’t fix, though death is more likely.

      Let’s see, he’s 27, an addict, a drunk, and for the past half a decade has made his money as one of the greatest fools in America. He’ll be known as a douche with no redeeming qualities for the rest of his life.That sums it up nicely. Do him a favor and leave a loaded gun nearby. Two bullets, as he’s likely to miss on the first try.

  10. Don

    So that’s what they’re calling sucking dick down your throat so hard that you choke and vomit all over your gay boyfriends balls while he shoves a baseball bat up your ass, rehab.

  11. The Situation Rehab
    ToriLyn
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like he’s about to take a shit

  12. Give a douche money and this is what happens. Seriously, let him OD and die already. Take that damn ewok with you on your way out. At least we can cover JWows head with a hefty steel sack and enjoy the fake body.

  13. The Situation Rehab
    cagster
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh Sitch, you forgot to take off your brace headgear again.

  14. The Situation Rehab
    Commented on this photo:

    “So then, he pulls this frog out of the box, and it’s all like, ‘Hello mah baby, hello mah honey, hello mah ragtime gal!’ Shit is fuckin’ CRAZY, yo!”

  15. The Situation Rehab
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: good taste, fashion, the English language.

  16. The Situation Rehab
    Commented on this photo:

    Hurr?
    Durr…

  17. Your End

    This is the best Italy can do.

  18. Athr

    Who is this stupid and ugly clown–and why isn’t he dead yet.

  19. The Situation Rehab
    One Shot
    Commented on this photo:

    No matter how many steroids you take Cokey, that’s still a giant fucking nose.

  20. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    He does have a big ass nose, most likely since he took too many punches to it. He’s too old for Jersey Shore and should be fired.

  21. The Situation Rehab
    siren
    Commented on this photo:

    So fking ugly, he looks 65.

  22. The Situation Rehab
    siren
    Commented on this photo:

    Still fking ugly!!!!! Nose of an 80 year old.

  23. The Situation Rehab
    siren
    Commented on this photo:

    The biggest poser of them all….

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