The Situation Jokes You Didn’t Hear on The Donald Trump Roast

The Superficial / March 16, 2011

As previously reported, The Situation was invited to the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump last week where he not only bombed but managed to piss off Snoop Dogg in the process by making a joke about slavery. Immediately there was talk of The Situation being edited out, but within 24 hours Comedy Central began running on-air promos highlighting his onstage flameout. Except not all his “jokes” made it to last night’s broadcast, including the Snoop slavery one, so here they are for your reading pleasure. Via TMZ:

“I’m not from New Jersey … I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough … not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin bl*ws onstage in Tijuana … “
He continued, “Relax, she didn’t even hear it … I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee … have you ever done anything else actually?”
Sitch ignored the boos and groans and continued …
“Larry King is rockin’ the Armani diaper … Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria’s Secret … panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom … nah, I’m just kidding, he don’t wear condoms, you know that!”
And it just didn’t stop …
“I like Larry King … he’s a playa … he actually wrote a book named ‘Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack’ … he got that title from a hooker he was f**king.”
One last parting shot for Trump:
“Trump is a good looking dude … if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin’s ears.”

Is it me or are none of those jokes really that bad in the context of a Comedy Central roast? I don’t want to defend The Situation because the fact there’s a real person on television called “The Situation” is proof that we’re a nation teetering on the brink of collapse, but someone more than likely wrote these jokes for him and he had the balls to perform them in front of seasoned comedians. Except that’s not entirely true because there’s a difference between balls and fully believing you’re Ab Jesus who thinks he should’ve been paid for this gig instead of beaten out back with a pipe. Although, that’s more of a statement on how soft Snoop has gotten. I guess my point is, black guys used to shoot people more often for way less, and now thanks to talk radio, white folk took that from them, too. You gotta fight the power or else we’ll take all your cool shit. That’s the thesis here.

Photos: Getty