The Situation Is Broke

November 3rd, 2011 // 69 Comments
"The Confrontation"
Frank Sorrentino
The Situation vs. His Dad Read More »

In a new interview with GQ.com, Snooki talks about her future as a veterinarian (Why not?) and in the process reveals that The Situation is already broke which probably explains why he was last seen shilling haute couture lollipops. I’m kidding, of course, the man loves designing confectioneries. You should see his truffles. Ta die for:

GQ: Do you remember the ideal heart rate for a dog?
Snooki: 150. I would love to go back to school and get my vet tech license. I loved the teachers at my school, I’d go there. It’s small, they have a great vet tech program and it’s cheap.
GQ: But you have money now!
Snooki: I don’t care. My entire outfit is probably like 50 bucks total.
GQ: So what do you spend your money on?
Snooki: I save it. Jersey Shore is going to end soon. I’m not going to spend money like Mike [The Situation]. He’s already broke!

So I posted this for two reasons:

1. I needed little pick-me-up this morning. Haha! Ab-face has no money.

2. What better way to highlight the new Zoom feature in the galleries than this jamoke’s face? You literally have to squeegee the grease off your monitor when you’re done. In fact, I already slipped walking over to get some coffee, so skid-resistant shoes today, everybody. Skid-resistant shoes.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    What’s truly amazing is that “Snooki” was quoted as spouting some common sense about saving up the money.

      • Help

        Seriously. Color me shocked, but she’s either got someone smart giving her advice or common sense of her own.

    • Everyone discounted that girl (among other ones) but I totally pegged her as being the single one that wouldn’t be completely retarded about her future. Between the speaking engagements and the key endorsements she’s done, she’s been really keen about it.

      I think she understood that this whole Jersey Shore thing was their one opportunity to make money and have something socked away for the future. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same with Jwoww.

      • Schmidtler

        wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that Snooki paid a couple thousand dollars for some weird designer sunglasses? dont’ kid yourself that she has a shred of common sense.

    • I know. The media has painted her as a retarded filthy whore, but in reality she’s just a regular filthy whore.

    • Dan

      I am totally convinced the entire Jersey Shore show is scripted.

    • cc

      ‘My entire outfit is probably like 50 bucks total.’

      That much? You wouldn’t know it to look at her.

    • Carla

      Seriously.

  2. Capitalist Pancake

    Wow. Who knew under all that fake tan and pickle smell there is a midget who is actually canny enough to realize reality tv isn’t some permanent meal ticket.

    • Frank Burns

      Yeah, plus she actually has a career goal outside of tv that requires education, and she has even considered the cost of that education. I’m astonished.

  3. :P

    Good for Snooki, remembering what her resting heart rate should be…. and just for the record, HUGE difference between vet tech and veterinarian.

  4. NennyKins

    Yeah, big difference between Vet Tech and Veterinarian. Nurse vs Doctor. That’s why her school’s tuition is cheap, it’s a probably a community college.

    • :P

      Vet and Doctor require roughly the same amount of school, but nursing at least is a 4-year program at a real college (it is here anyway). Vet tech really is just a two-year tech school thing for people who couldn’t get into a real college….

      • Artofwar

        …And just for the record since you are being so generous with your infinite wisdom–do tell how many years does it take for you to realize that none of us gives a flighty fuck about how long it takes to obtain any of the shit you just waisted your time informing us of…Artofwar

      • akewlazzmom

        There’s also a 2 year Associate Degree for Registered Nurses. Can be obtained through a large number of jc’s nowadays.
        Of course, it is much more complex than a Vet Tech degree. Although I give mad props to VT’s, most are very good at what they do. Love the VT’s at my vets office!! And so do my furry babies! {o:

  5. Sophie

    BAHAHAHHAHAA.

  6. K

    I don’t want this show because, well, you can tell they’re idiots just from photos but what is wrong with his face? In every photo he looks like he is having a muscle spasm on the entire left side of his face.

  7. Don’t worry, Sitch. I’m sure MTV has a pension plan.

  8. Snack pack

    There may be a difference between the “technician” and the actual vet, but I really feel sorry for both right now. For the rest of their lives, vets and vet techs will hear this at dinner parties: “Yeah, but Snooki learned how to do it pretty quick, so, really, just how big a deal is it?”

    • JC

      Yep–every time I hear someone confuse vet and vet tech in re: Snooki, I weep for all the friends I have either that attempted to get into vet school or actually attended vet school. They had to bust major ass to get in because it’s way more competitive than med school. Here’s the difference: Vets are the actual doctors. The job of vet techs is to hold pets down and get bit while the doctor does their job. I don’t mean that as a slam to vet techs, but there’s a huge difference in training and responsibility.

  9. Maybe Sitch should start following Kate Gosselin’s blog.

  10. Rapsutin's Evil Twin

    The man’s face looks like a potato that been in the bin too long, but the potato could outwit him. (I’m using the word “man” very loosely here, as he does.)

    Couldn’t there be a CO leak in their house, or a batch of poisoned herpes meds dropped off there? No such luck. Just what did we do to deserve this blight on the world?

    By the way, anyone buying the Christmas ornaments in the shapes of these tools desrves to catch something from them.

  11. Venom

    Here is the essential problem of this dumbfuck and all other dumbfucks like him and why they will always go broke.
    Sure he makes a lot of money comparatively to the rest of the people in this country, but he has low self esteem and wants to be a big shot and the biggest deal in the room. He also wants to do this in places like Vegas and NY and so on.

    Unfortunately in those places you have hundred millionaires and billionaires that wipe their asses with what he makes in a year so to keep up with these guys you literally end up broke.

    Not to mention guys like him, usually pro athletes and lottery winners, seem to equate getting lucky and making a lot of money quickly seems to make you some financial and business genius and ultimately they get taken in cons by actual financial and business geniuses. Guys like this tool always think they are the smartest guys in the room.

  12. Alex

    Holy hell. When Snooki one-ups you on financial advice, you fucking SUCK. New low, buddy.

  13. Grace

    I’m actually impressed by… Snooki *!?!*
    Saving the money from a reality show she knows will end eventually. Wow… you go, girl.

    • Venom

      Just because someone claims they are going to do something in an interview to try to impress people does not mean that is what they are actually going to do in the end. Anyone can say anything to make themselves look good.

      • Yeah, I’m still waiting for Octomom to complete that Master’s Degree, get a great job and support all her kids and pay back everything to the state of CA.

        I totally believed her, I feel so used.

  14. Douche chills¹º.

  15. Buddy the Elf

    Dammit.
    Who woulda known that rubbing coconut oil on your chest for a living wouldnt last? This sucks.

    Maybe he can blog about coupons?

  16. Deacon Jones

    Didnt I call this?

    That he’d be hosting gas station openings in the next year or two?

  17. Arnold

    You one ugly mutha fuckah

  18. Carolyn

    Broke? Good, couldn’t be happier/

  19. r

    I knew The Situation would blow through his money fast.

    I’m actually really surprised Snooki has her head screwed on.

  20. Josephus

    The “zoom” feature was added solely to settle the “OMG NIPPLE?” debates, right?

  21. Leblanc

    She is actually smart…

  22. forrest gump

    psst: HIS FIFTEEN MINUTES OF “FAME” WAS FUN.
    ……..let’s go back to work now.

  23. “Man, I would do anything for abs” – The Situation, age 10
    “You rang?” – The Devil

  24. cc

    Hiring her as a vet tech? No way, the risks of committing an embarrassing faux pas are way to high.

    ‘Ma’am, I have to tell you, your dog is grossly overweight. You need to feed her low cal Science Diet’

    ‘Um, that’s not my dog.’

  25. Its a rough exclusive

    American consumerism will keep this single guy afloat I imagine. Ahead of Snookie, sadly. Dude got a working gimmick.

  26. Problem?

    Funny, since he is always going on and on in interviews that he knows it won’t last forever and that he is banking it all

  27. B

    She was already going to college before Jersey shore ( planning to be a vet tech).

  28. skunk

    i wish evil upon this douche

  29. The Situation Broke Snooki Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll bet the outer layer of that is ass-flavored.

  30. anonym

    I now have a little respect for this midget.

    she actually has a little common sense.

  31. The Situation Broke Snooki Jersey Shore
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    dooché

  32. Lola

    Now is financial situation is like his face, BUSTED!

  33. mk

    You know, maybe there really is a God.

  34. Elf

    It’s a smart thing to have a vet in the ewok village. And you guys call Snooki dumb! Seesh!

  35. Problem?

    A couple people I know are fans of him on Facebook and say there hasn’t been hide nor hair of him since this story and normally he posts about 65,000 posts a day promoting himself

    Now….I just await the day he finally comes out of the closet

  36. The Situation Broke Snooki Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s be kinda cute if he wasnt such a flaming douche bag.

  37. The Situation Broke Snooki Jersey Shore
    steve
    Commented on this photo:

    he has such an awful nose

  38. THETRUTH

    I don’t understand why you guys think she isn’t smart. I find it smart to get a job that requires drinking, partying, sex and endorsement… you get paid way more too. And she probably gets more money by looking like a fat, short, annoying b—- we can all relate too.

  39. mer

    A vet tech does not just “hold animals and get bit”….they perform bloodwork, UA, xrays, assist in surgery, intubate, place catheters, and plenty more. The only thing vet techs DO NOT do is prescribe medication (but they have to know which medications do what, the dosages, and any contraindications), diagnose (although they assist in that by taking your animals TPR…which for those who do not know is temperature, pulse, and respiratory rate (try doing that with an animal who is less than cooperative trying to bite you) and perform surgery. EVERYTHING else, the vet tech does. So please do not knock down the vet tech profession, because they do a whole lot for very little credit.

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