The Situation: ‘I’m Like Clark Kent. Whenever I’m Not Superman.’

October 12th, 2010 // 74 Comments

Sorry to hit you guys with two Jersey Shore posts in one day, but watching massive egos being handed a soapbox is my crack. This time around, ABC Nightline sat down with The Situation who proceeded to go on a tangent about how his natural talents are far greater than that of mortal men – not counting the cucumber stuffed in his pants. They’re rich in Vitamin A, you guys:

On being more than just the abs:
“I work very hard on my body, and I’m not just known for my six-pack or my body. I also believe that I have pretty good camera presence. … Those one-liners, those are not practiced. They just come out naturally.”

On playing a character:
“It is a part of my personality, but not the full circle. That character that you see is ‘The Situation.’ It’s not Michael Sorrentino. You’re seeing ‘The Situation,’ almost like Clark Kent and Superman.”

On his future with Jersey Shore:
“I was very upset and, and contemplated — not necessarily retiring from reality TV, but possibly retiring from ‘Jersey Shore,’. I give ‘Jersey Shore’ exactly what it needs, okay?”

Yes, please, let this guy quit Jersey Shore to finally become the superstar years preening in front of the mirror has told him he is. Because there’s no way MTV could find five random nobodies, shove them in a beach house and suddenly have a hit show on their hands. Just the mere thought of it is dumb on its face. They might as well cancel the whole network.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. The Situation
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my cock!

  2. Enoch

    His abs aren’t even that good.

    • Guest

      And his arms look like midget arms. He’s the farthest thing from a gentleman there is. I wish somebody would kill him.

  3. diego

    i like his cock!

  4. missed it by three posts.

  5. Obvious

    He’ll be working at a carwash within 3 years.

  6. RoboZombie

    I wish he would drown in a vat of boiling vomit!

  7. Jon Reremy

    He could stand to do some incline presses.

  8. Nice tits homo. Seriously any guy whos into the male form so much to do that to himself.. is probly gona wake up one day in hospital like rod stewart, getting cum pumped out his stomach

    • heidi's MUM

      “he’s gay, he’s gay”. Yeah, good one. Why do people jump to the obvious pathetic insult of calling somebody gay???

      • Sassyfrass

        B/c just like women start hating on whatever incredibly hot piece of ass the SW posts, so do men start hating on dudes with incredibly ripped bodies. It works both ways, you see. Chicks call other chicks that are way hotter than them “slut”, “bitch”, etc while dudes rail at other extremely fit dudes with “homo”, “fag” and “cum guzzler”. See? Men and women aren’t so different after all, lol.

    • Lady Blah Blah

      LOL.

  9. OMFG

    girl-hands

  10. anonymous

    i bet the dude is depressed in fat within the next 5 years. he’ll be on some where are they now show talking about how good he had it but it was gone in a flash.

  11. Sarah

    His hands look like a womens.

    • GravyLeg

      Totally… They look like they should be playing a piano… Or a skin flute… I bet he is secretly gay…

      • pee-fun lover

        Walking around with a sock stuffed in his tights?? Not sure if it’s such a secret.
        “The Situation” refers to the situation he looks forward to after his grueling glamour-muscle workout: chocolate choo-choo train in the locker room!!

      • Bow Down Assholes

        Actaully, I think it’s sewn into the underwear. You can buy them online, not that I would ever own one, or even know of them except I was surfing the net one time and came upon the page by accident. Yeah, that’s it.

  12. The Situation
    Ness
    Commented on this photo:

    With tight pants like those, even the chick looks “well gifted”

  13. Ksurfiws

    Nigel Tufnel: We’ve got Armadillos in our trousers. It’s really quite frightening

  14. Master of the skin flute.

  15. GravyLeg

    What is the Situation?

    “The Situation is… long term chances of Valtrex overdose = HIGH.

  16. The Situation
    Brian0523
    Commented on this photo:

    I would suck his dick any day.

  17. eatme

    I love this guy. Super entertaining. Best “reality star” pretty much ever.

    • prune smugglin'

      How so, exactly? I’ve suffered through that show a few times now, and can’t remember a single thing he’s said.

  18. Funeral Guy

    I can’t wait till this fucking tool is back swirling pizza dough.

  19. P-britty

    Seeing him in the stretchy pants like that reminds me of the “Keep It Gay” scene in “The Producers”… You know that ‘package’ he’s packing nothing more than a sock or a bean bag… GROSS!!

  20. Stinky McFartKnocker

    He might dethrone Spencer Pratt for Duesch of the Year.

  21. Tropy

    There is nothing in his pants that even remotely resembles a penis or ball sack. Nice stuff job there homo!

  22. In pic #4 I swear he looks like Fisher Stevens’ ‘roided-up younger brother. Hopefully it runs in the family, since that one also had about 10 minutes of fame before he cheated on Michelle Pfeiffer because he thought he could do better.

    I don’t know what’s more ridiculous: the carefully posed girlie hands, the delusion of “camera presence” or that stuffing that’s worthy of Mrs. Cubbison’s.

  23. CherylX

    Lot of jealous dudes here, lol. Me and my bff hooked up with Mike one night and he did us both at the same time. His dick went into my vajay, out my butt, and into my bff. That’s no sock, that’s real italian sausage.

    • Bow Down Assholes

      I think the nurse is calling. Hurry up and log off, it’s time for your meds!

      • CherylX

        I’m off the meds I took after surgery for my rectovaginal fistula, and I no longer need a nurse, thank you.

      • pee-fun lover

        Wow, CherylX…never heard of a rectovaginal fistula, but please don’t leave us in the dark. Or, maybe you should!

  24. The Situation
    Jon Reremy
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol

  25. Bow Down Assholes

    I wonder if he feels like glenda when he wears his glittery outfits.

  26. LD

    OMG , this is what my girlfriend wheres to the gym, minus the cod piece and hat to cover up the bad hairplugs.

  27. The Situation
    Don't b jealous
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude I love ya but don’t hate– I think he’s just hung. (He IS Italian) That ain’t no cucumber.

  28. Don't b jealous

    Take a closer look– looks like a real cock to me. He IS italian after all

  29. Arnold

    Stupid wop has no symetry, no lats, skinny legs, arms don’t look right, skinny neck, no calves whatsoever…

  30. Sam & dude: You are both gentlemen and scholars.

  31. Leelou

    Wait, he has one-liners? and he comes up with them all by his lonesome? Man, I must be missing something. Of the few episodes I have seen all I have witnessed is a series of grunts, lame cheesy hand gestures meant I believe to look cool & looking at himself in the mirror. I half way expect his to say “who is the fairest in all the land?”. Or in my wildest fantasy he just falls in a lake looking at himself and drowns like Narcissus did. Mean, I know but tere are already too many stupid people out there leading the even dumber. We dont need a new king.

  32. MrsEllis

    Okay… full disclosure… not only have I seen the show, but I think Pauly D is kind of funny and cute. The Situation is about 3% as attractive as he thinks he is, though.

  33. The Situation
    RD
    Commented on this photo:

    Not trying to be funny here. I’m seriously asking.-

    Are those GIRL TIGHT PANTS? (you know the kind, like the ones Kim Kardashian *loves* to wear)

  34. splashSOS

    To me he looks like Johnnie from the cartoon Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Google it and tell me he doesnt look like a live action Johnnie. All he needs is sum sandles and Plank the piece of wood (haha) Johnnie carried with him everywhere. I’m sure the s(h)ituation knows alot bout hardwood =)

  35. captain america

    accuse him for the bankruptcy of america!!

  36. The Situation
    DianaJ
    Commented on this photo:

    What BS. Sitch. PLEASE use a little less “stuffing” next time.
    I’m embarrassed for ya.

    My DH is – ahem – shall we say, large. (Lucky me!)
    They DON’T stick out like that when you are just walking around in shorts.

    It looks like he got kicked hard in the cojones and they swelled up.

    Please try again lil’ Mike. Maybe back to the sock?

  37. Joe Joe

    It’s because he gives so many guys hand jobs

  38. dontlooknow

    LOL – he’s got a sock stuffed in down there…

  39. MarMar

    It’s so obvious this dude has had botox (along with sticking a roid needle in his ass daily) and maybe some fillers too. I mean, look at the difference in his face between Season 1 and Season 2, it’s ridiculous. He needed it though, he does look better now, but that’s like saying a corpse looks better once it has some make-up on in the casket.

  40. The Situation
    AteIsEnough
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a muscular old Jewish man. Check the nose and forehead!!! Not only that, his legs are like 50% too short for his torso. Yikes. Glad he’s not too bright for his own sake, he can still convince himself he’s “got it”.

  41. hills

    He’s on the fast track for a future “Celebrity Rehab” season. I rarely use the word hate, but I hate this tool!

  42. The Situation
    HLM
    Commented on this photo:

    And he’s got girly hands. Ick.

  43. Jessics

    I was going to make a snarky comment about how he looks like he’d smell like ass. But, after reading all the other comments I am shocked at all the dude haters. Jealous much?

    • Reality check

      Jealous of what? A loud-mouthed “grenade” banging semi-meathead with girl hands, stuffed undies, a pea brain, and no style who fell back-asswards into tens of thousands of dollars who is laughed at by millions? Yep, you got us there…

  44. bitingontinfoil

    Clark Kent? Superman? More like Karl Malden with that schnozz!! (BTW: Nice sock stuff, Schnozz)

  45. The Situation
    meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Trolololo! Lololooo-loo-lolooo

  46. The Situation
    S
    Commented on this photo:

    ..I am sure he stuffed his pants..

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