The Situation’s Pissed Everyone Knows He’s Gay

February 10th, 2012 // 48 Comments
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During a never-ending media blitzkrieg to promote their upcoming Jersey Shore spinoff, JWoww and Snooki essentially outed The Situation, and you’ll be surprised to learn he’s not too happy about it even though the gays are typically such a jovial and festive bunch. Via The Huffington Post:

“Mike really ripped both Snooki and JWoww a new one,” a show insider told the Chicago Sun-Times. Noting that Sorrentino is concerned such comments could hurt his brand endorsements, which are focused on straight male customers, the source added, “He’s extremely upset.”

Also worth noting is that former cast-member Angelina Pivarnick attempted to out The Situation a year ago to Popeater except nobody believed her because she’s a lying whore so our hands are clean on this one:

“I think Mike is gay. I think he’s gay because of the way he talks and the way he abuses girls. He talks down to women. … I honestly feel like he’s in the closet right now; he doesn’t want to come out.”

I love how The Situation’s main concern isn’t that people know he’s been pretending to be straight, but that his “endorsements” might be in trouble. Which is ridiculous once you realize he’s shilling lollipops and vodka that has a mysterious protein floating in it. I almost want to say he can’t buy this kind of publicity, but then I remembered he had sex with Snooki, so there was a price. A damp, terrible price.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News


  1. cc

    I wonder if he realizes that not too many people care about his sexual orientation…they ‘care’ about the fact that they have to see his greasy, dimwitted face all the damn time.

  2. ““Mike really ripped both Snooki and JWoww a new one”

    Doubtful. Where would he find the room?

    • Rebelminion

      How would he find the room? Dude, how many inches in an acre?

      • I was implying the acre was already stretched beyond the possibility of further ripping through previous overuse. It would be like trying to cut space in an open manhole, in more ways than one.

  3. Jim Liu

    If you didn’t already know this stupid mother fucker was gay then you’re the stupid mother fucker.

  4. suck it

    for some reason, i dont think he is gay.. i wish i could buy it, but i cant… maybe at most he is bi curious? but who cares???

    • I agree. I used to party with the whole guido set in NYC nightlife and alot of these dudes were bi-curious but they still had girlfriends.

      • rican

        bi-curious, what a retarded way to say gay. “I’m hetero man, but once in a while I like to suck cock and take it up the ass, because, you know, I’m always curious about it.”

  5. John

    The gays must be so embarrassed right now

  6. The Situation Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s gay? Who’d have thought it? he’s the very essence of brutish manliness…. Time for a Virginia Slim baby!

  7. God is Black

    Seriously I don’t get a gay vibe off this guy. Never seen the Jersey Shore nor do I want to. Really does he enjoy shopping with the girls ,dress flamboyantly or does that ring thing with his hands and glitter appears?Are there GAYS IN JERSEY NY PERIOD?

    • rican

      watch the show and you’ll get it. He brought a hot stripper home, but didn’t do her after getting all hissy when she demanded matching socks to sleep with. Matching socks vs. sex? Totally gay.

    • eatme

      …ummm, if i were to have any wing man in this world it would prob be this guy. i’ve never seen anyone with as much confidence. and yes, in one of the shows he brought home and presumably slept with (she stayed over) some ultra hot girl from Canada, the kind most of us only dream about. Sure, it might have been fake, but if it was fake then you can’t believe anything you see on the show, including anything that might lead you to think he is gay,

      • Sliver

        I could see why someone would make excuses not to screw on least to me, it’s just too personal.

  8. “Oh, no! If people find out I’m gay, I might have to find a real job!” is how I interpret this.

  9. bassackward

    I’m not sure which is the stronger “vibe” from this loser…..Gay or Extreme Moron….
    Either way, the real losers in this battle is us! This gay, extreme moron is laughing all the way to the bank, because some other morons at MTV are playing to the stupidity of this generation, and keep airing this stupid show, and are now branching out with Snooki/JWow spin-offs….
    WTF does THAT say about people today? We have more “reality” shows, which are anything but real, “Real Housewife’s of whatever,” “wife swap,” endless whoring by the Kardashians Kunts…. MY GOD! it’s enough to make you wanna take a 12 gauge to the TV… but stupid fucks in the country keep watching it…. I mean, where else can you become a millionaire several times over, because you “leaked” a sex tape of you and your huge ass fucking some loser black dude? or because you play some kind of a ridiculous stereotypical Italian loser…..
    The sooner people start turning this crap off, the sooner we may be able to start raising the collective IQ in this country….
    Just sayin….

  10. Dan

    The Situation doesn’t realize that this is actually a good thing – he’ll have a future in gay porn.

  11. AteIsEnough

    If he stuck his dick in Snooki, then he’s had it in man ass.

  12. Cock Dr

    Taking it up the pooper seems mild compared to copulation with a Snookie.

  13. Unless I’m mistaking it for santorum, he’s too greasy.

  14. Let's go shopping ladies!!!!!!

    Works for him because women love gay men.

  15. it had to be said

    All of the work done by the It Gets Better campaign could be wiped out in a second if gay youths learned that the Situation was what they had to look forward to.

  16. I also just realized he’ll be quite the hot item in the gay community… it looks like he’s perpetually pre-lubed.

  17. The Situation Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    What genius marketing exec. thinks this guy appeals to “straight males” ?! Most of us want to shoot him for making us look like idiots.

  18. If you're gay and you know it stick up for gays. If you're gay and you know stick up for gays. If you're gay and you know and you really want to show it if you're gay and you know it stick up for gays.

    Clearly you’re both gay.

  19. Andie

    Man, he’s one ugly dude. Really, really super ugly. His eyebrows alone give me the creeps. Male butterface. Buttisface?

  20. dooood

    chicks know as well as anyone that it’s totally fun to talk down to women. idk if this guido is gay and it’s really none of our business, but he did bang snooki so what does that make him?

  21. Inmate 12236969

    I ask Mike last night if he’s gay while he was sucking my dick he said no.

  22. Problem?

    He is worried about his endorsements, aimed at straight young men? What, gay people can’t buy his shit or something? Does ANYONE even buy his shit?

    God, this guy is a dick and a half. I’d love to kick his ass. I am sure anyone probably could. All talk, no walk. He’d probably just run himself into the wall again.

    And he is not gay? All his denying makes me think of the line from Brain Candy:

    “You are gay. You are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you’re gay. I know it. Your family knows it. DOGS know it! Everyone seems to know it except you.”

  23. For the handful of people who care,maybe he should have thought about it before he shaped his eyebrows to look like a 15-year old girl

  24. dontkillthemessenger

    “Mike is gay because of the way he talks to and abuses girls.”

    Doesn’t that pretty much make Mike, Ronnie, Pauly, AND Vinny gay?

  25. Elf

    So, the Situation is gay and Snooki is reportedly bi-sexual. The number STD cases in America just doubled.

  26. The Situation Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care, this dude is ugly as fuck.

  27. mando

    In my fantasy, the sitch ripes me a new hole.

    And doesn’t have an STD.

  28. Average Joe

    If he was gay I would buy a boat load of his lollipops.

  29. mean tina

    not gay. and im the first to call out a buttthumper.

    now that justin timberlake. when will you all believe?

  30. mean tina

    there are a lot of men who have a terrible resentment for women due to bad experiences with them. the situation has had a thing for snooki for awhile– deep down he’d love a girlfriend. i agree he hates women. women can sniff it a mile away and it wont take a man far. the first girl that sees his heart, he’ll be beyond straight for.

    you know nelson and that simpsons episode. until lisa cares, he’s a dick.

  31. The Situation Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    If that isn’t a gay look, I don’t know what is….

  32. The Situation Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay sunglasses, no less.

  33. JERSEY K

    gayer than five guys blowing six guys, him and all the other greazy turd burglars on Jersey Shore

  34. discussSantanismoverlunch

    The dude is def gay and mad at everyone and snaps all the time cause hes angry with himself. He isnt comfortable in his own skin . He is gay for these reasons the way he talks sometimes, the way he holds his cigarette, the way he acts in general it seems like he tries soooooo hard not to look gay by sleeping with ugly chicks . Like the way he talks about himself all the time bangin hoe’s it just seems like a giant cover up he tries way to hard to be like this manly mans man pimp but he fits the profile of a homo and all the signs are visible and if u cant see them well ur just dumb for real.

  35. discussSantanismoverlunch

    He’ll come out when the times right like when the shore gets cancelled and no one will hire him for anything and he isnt relinvent anymore i say 10 to 15 years we all will be reading it somwhere

  36. kevin

    The Situation is a lot of things, but he’s definitely not gay.

    The writer of the article clearly has some personal issues. It’s okay, though, I hope he gets the help he needs.

    Shoot me an email if you’d like. I know people who can help you bro

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