Dear Los Angeles, Get Rid Of This For Me

While Alexander Skarsgard is on the east coast enjoying a legitimate vagina parade – And trust me, ladies, my heart also aches over today’s lack of Swedish Fuckinator shots. – here’s a not-ironically shirtless The Situation in Los Angeles where he genuinely believes he’s going to make it because MTV reality stars always go on to fame and success after their shows are over. In fact, I can just see a producer now, top down on his convertible, frantically trying to find the next big star when, “Wait. Who’s that handsome fellow bravely wearing a suit jacket with no shirt underneath outside of the 80s? He’s the one I’ve searched for!” Butt Bandito 5: Buttrix Buttloaded will go on to win five AVN Awards including the coveted Best Money Shot in Gay Porn, dedicated to its star who died after thinking you can still take HGH while AIDS positive. “He was an idiot, but he was our idiot,” producers will say. “We’ll never forget how he challenged us each day. Mostly by never showing up on time and thinking he had other career options which has yet to stop being hilarious. ‘Yo, Sitch. DeNiro’s on line cock for ya,’ we used to say. It’s funnier when there’s a penis handy.”

Photo: Flynet, Pacific Coast News