Dear Los Angeles, Get Rid Of This For Me

August 10th, 2011 // 71 Comments

While Alexander Skarsgard is on the east coast enjoying a legitimate vagina parade – And trust me, ladies, my heart also aches over today’s lack of Swedish Fuckinator shots. – here’s a not-ironically shirtless The Situation in Los Angeles where he genuinely believes he’s going to make it because MTV reality stars always go on to fame and success after their shows are over. In fact, I can just see a producer now, top down on his convertible, frantically trying to find the next big star when, “Wait. Who’s that handsome fellow bravely wearing a suit jacket with no shirt underneath outside of the 80s? He’s the one I’ve searched for!” Butt Bandito 5: Buttrix Buttloaded will go on to win five AVN Awards including the coveted Best Money Shot in Gay Porn, dedicated to its star who died after thinking you can still take HGH while AIDS positive. “He was an idiot, but he was our idiot,” producers will say. “We’ll never forget how he challenged us each day. Mostly by never showing up on time and thinking he had other career options which has yet to stop being hilarious. ‘Yo, Sitch. DeNiro’s on line cock for ya,’ we used to say. It’s funnier when there’s a penis handy.”

Photo: Flynet, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. God is Black

    “You know what really grinds my gears, this Douche!”

  2. Carrie

    How dare you lure me with talk of my favorite viking, only to assault my eyes with King Douche-a-Rama? Shame on you, Fish, shame on you. Photo Boy, give this man 50 lashes, please.

  3. kANYE

    mIRANDA kERR’S ASS IN THAT AD!!!!

  4. gigi

    I love how the bulldog fountain thingy looks like it’s coming out of the side of his head… ahem, yes, more Alex please- I need a palate cleanser now… ugh

  5. OK

    Fuck this guy is really, objectionably ugly.

  6. JC

    I’m sure he and Eric Nies will have a good time discussing the MTV fame machine on the set of Butt Banditos.

  7. seagalisgod

    PLEASE stop enabling this douchebag and his unabashed moneygrab douchebaggery.

  8. Mohammed Akbar

    If you can get him to come over to Saudi Arabia , I have a job for him in the seraglio or brothel.I need someone to do the laundry everyday , to clen up after my fellow royalty

  9. Seriously, what’s wrong with his abs? It really just looks like his intestines rolling around in there.

  10. Karl Donitz

    I have a job for him in Jersey, cleaning up my “priivate booths ” at the Adult video store

  11. Alex

    This guy truly is the diet cola of evir.

  12. Poor Mike doesn’t even know that looks like a narcoleptic dolphin/gargoyle hybrid. He’s lucky to even fistpump a grenade or an orange snookicabra.

  13. Cock Dr

    Dear City of Angels – Don’t just get rid of this douchebag for the blogger, do it for all of us. Do it for America.

  14. TY Webb

    I just looked it up , and his picture is next to the entry “jackoff”

  15. Billy Rubin

    I would think that Italian – Americans would be so embarrassed by this “thing” that they would take out a contract on all of them

  16. bealett

    This guy will forever be linked with feminine hygiene. In more ways then one.

  17. he’s like one of those hideously ugly chicks who gets breast implants and spray on tan, then dresses like a skank and thinks she’s hot because people pay attention to her, but really they think she’d just be an easy place to drop a load in.

    Basically, I’m saying he’s gay rape bait…and best of luck to them.

  18. Poison Ivy League

    I’m Popeye the Sailor Man
    I live in a garbage can
    One look at Deena
    And off goes my weina
    I’m Popeye the Sailor Man!
    *Toot Toot*

  19. petrone

    LOL don’t be mad just because he has made more money in the last year the you will make in your lifetime.Haters always going to hate why can’t you just be happy for someone. And again if it was not for people like that you would have nothing to talk about on this site since he is the type of person you guy post pictures on everyday. Get rid of him and everyone else like him and your ass will be flipping burgers within a month.

    That was a large fry i orders not a small get used to hearing that.

    • Billy Rubin

      Fuck You !

      • petrone

        Sorry to offend you two burger Boys , either that or you are mad that you might have some competition atd the burger flipping Olympics this year.

    • Al Czervik

      I don’t comment about all of the posts . This “thing ” offends me as a human being . His utility seems to be making faces and fucking whores, and looking like a horses ass all of the time , which I doubt is intentional. He “coolness ” should be sent to another country where backwards country – fuck illiterates can truly appreciate him

      • WTF do you come to this site for? The world fucking news. FFS he is what this site is all about with out him it dies then its back to watching porn and jerking off only hoping that mommy or daddy does not come in and catch you.

      • This douche wouldn’t even know COOL if it came up to him and froze his dick off.

    • Billy Rubin

      You might want to use a spell check or go back to school. Your usage of plurals and nouns seems to be sub – par

    • Brooke

      Man, I come to this site because Fish is fucking hilarious. I don’t give three shits about 90% of the celebrities on here, and half of them I wouldn’t know about if it weren’t for this site.

      What I want to know is, why the hell did Petrone come to this site if they are anti-”hatin’”. Could it be… this person… likes The Situation? I think my mind just exploded. “That’s… that’s not possible! *BOOM*

  20. Ty Webb

    Does he owe you money ? You’re kissing alot of his ass for what reason?

  21. Ty Webb

    Previous post was for ass – sucking petrone

    • petrone

      No shit Sherlock you must be the Brains of the Burger bunch i see. Pretty sure we all know who your comment was a response too. Did you even make it to Burger flipper yet or they still you have you mopping the bathrooms out?

  22. Ty Webb

    Is that you in you greasy wopptastic glory ? You seem to know alot about burgers for some reason

  23. Snooky

    He is so fucking ugly. Not sure what kind of ho it would take to bang that. IT’S GROSS.

  24. Carl Spackler

    Boys ! Boys ! let’s calm down and take our seats . This kind of behavior cannot be tolerated in civil society!

  25. Sandy Mcfiddish

    Petrone seems to be fiercely defending the situation’s honor . Maybe the petrone is the situation?

  26. Ellis Havercamp

    Send the situation to Afghanistan to learn how to become e bullet deflector

  27. Danny Noonan

    Sitch and Kim kardasshian in matrimony , Two worthless wastes of oxygen in wedded bliss

  28. The Situation Abs Shirtless Los Angeles Mike Sorrentino
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey “The Situation”, what’s the international douche pose look like? Oh yeah, that’s it.

  29. PoorMaryKelly

    If they didn’t already, I’m pretty sure Italy hates our fucking guts for pawning this asshat off on them. They really didn’t do anything to deserve something that bad.

  30. Cpc23

    MAGNETO WAS RIGHT!

  31. eskwire

    That is the biggest piece of shit that I’ve ever seen coming out of the neck of a wall-hanging dog’s head.

  32. The Situation Abs Shirtless Los Angeles Mike Sorrentino
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    I can move my screen so his head is gone…but now even his hands are annoying.

  33. Brooke

    Only The Situation could grow a tumor the shape of an English bulldog with a tan that rivals his own.

  34. the one

    there is a special study to be an american *SSHOLE like him?

  35. Damnrobert

    Damn you bulldog-fountain-that-on-a-thumbnail-looks-like-an-exit-wound

  36. Chris

    And to think that this guy is richer than you will ever be. It’s a damn shame.

  37. fooey

    His fingers remind me of ET

  38. somethingsomething

    is that his soul leaving his body?

  39. The Situation Abs Shirtless Los Angeles Mike Sorrentino
    MissC
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait…is that “the more you know!” logo shaved into his hair?

  40. Problem?

    Is this the unveiling of the abs that he bragged about on Facebook? So….what? What is different about them? They still look just as oddly shaped and deformed as before.

    This guy is so f***ing ridiculous, I can’t even hate on him anymore. There’s still something very enjoyable in making fun of him, though.

  41. The Situation Abs Shirtless Los Angeles Mike Sorrentino
    Problem?
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatcha doing there, Mike?

    Hey, didn’t your actually kind of good looking friend the Unit just get arrested for drugs?

  42. The Situation Abs Shirtless Los Angeles Mike Sorrentino
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wake me up, before you go girl / Because I’ll need back all my guy clothes…”

  43. The Situation Abs Shirtless Los Angeles Mike Sorrentino
    Commented on this photo:

    Jazz Hands and Greasy Fingers

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