The Saturdays In Bikinis And Other News

- The exact moment Joe Biden turned to Paul Ryan, slowly jabbed a knife in his stomach and said, “Overturn this, you little shit.” [BuzzFeed]

- Here’s Catherine Zeta-Jones filming Red 2 because there’s a Red 2 now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Am I seriously linking a baby riding a giant lobster instead of tits? I’m linking a baby riding a giant lobster. This is happening. [theCHIVE]

- Elizabeth Taylor had a threesome with JFK and Robert Stack which better be in the Lifetime movie. [Dlisted]

- Abbie Cornish is cleavagey. [Popoholic]

- Pete Campbell and Alexis Beidel are banging in real life. [TooFab]

- Apparently there was a penis online yesterday. It’s not Justin Bieber’s. [IDLYITW]

- Taylor Swift denies banging Arnold’s son, but keep an eye out for mentions of a pregnant maid in her next song just in case. [Celebslam]

- Katie Price is finally recognized for her work with handjobs. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Oh, good, Toddlers & Tiaras is a springboard to movie roles now. Excuse me while I put all my money in four-year-old hooker costume futures. [FilmDrunk]

- Miranda Kerr looking insane for Vogue Italia. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Sofia Vergara loves being lied to. [Just Jared]

- John Locke has no fucking clue what happened on LOST and is apparently playing the Devil now. [HuffPost Entertainment]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News