The Rock Was Set in Stone

Dwayne Johnson took time out of shooting whatever bazillion dollar, CGI-heavy apocalypse movie he’s making this week to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. As far as I know, no one was sexually harassed or assaulted, so I’m gonna chalk this up as the feel-good story of the fucking year. Also I think he has finally ditched the whole “running for president” thing. For the record I was never against it because I thought The Rock was a bad guy, I’m just ready for someone that, ya know, knows how the government works and won’t start shit with countries they couldn’t even find on a map. On second thought, those two examples are merely the tip of the iceturd that we have going on in the White House right now.

Still, no matter how crappy San Andreas was, Dwayne Johnson is everything Tom Cruise never was and it’s nice that the biggest action star in the world isn’t part of the space mafia for once… or is he… maybe we’ll find out in April of 2018 when he gives the giant gorilla from Rampage a personality test.

 

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