The Real Reason Kim Kardashian Might Want A Third Kid

Despite Kim’s doctor telling her that another pregnancy might actually kill her, she’s opting to go into surgery to repair, what she calls, a “hole in her uterus” so that she can crank out another pup. Out of respect for Kim as a woman, I’d rather not spare the specific details of the procedure she’s opting for- but I will say the way she describes it, it sounds like they’re just gonna shove a pressure washer inside of her and “clean out all the bad stuff”. Oh, neat!

I need to have surgery on my uterus to kind of like, repair this hole. So they need to like clean that out and then there’s like scar tissue…

Now that her doctor (who may or may not talk like Sean Penn from Fast Times At Ridgemont High) is letting Kim go ahead with the dangerous procedure, she’s thinking about how great it will be for her two kids to finally be able to have a sibling… wait… aren’t they technically already siblings… what’s going on?

Kim probably speculates that since Kanye is a rapper and she is… whatever she is… having three kids would mean they can start a sibling band like Hanson or even Wilson Phillips. Under the tutelage of their father, they could even become the cross-over hip hop/sung RnB/avant garde sibling band that Hanson never was.

Watch Kim talk about her life-threatening elective procedure below over their regular, average, everyday breakfast table and feel bad about your life because you had shitty, instant oatmeal this morning.

I’d also like to point out that when Kim speaks, all the food on the table turns into chocolate pudding- which is serious witchcraft if I’ve ever seen it… Are we sure she’s not “preparing her uterus” for the the final reckoning? Time will tell…