The Pope Wants You to ‘Be Yourself’ on The Internet

January 25th, 2011 // 69 Comments
Pope Benedict XVI

“LEEEEEEEEEROOOYYYY JENKINS!”

In probably the most random message to come out of the Vatican, Pope Benedict XVI has seen fit to tackle the pressing, if not life-threatening issue of people pretending to be millionaire gymnasts on the Internet. Shit, he’s on to me:

In the digital age too, everyone is confronted by the need for authenticity and reflection. Besides, the dynamic inherent in the social networks demonstrates that a person is always involved in what he or she communicates. When people exchange information, they are already sharing themselves, their view of the world, their hopes, their ideals. It follows that there exists a Christian way of being present in the digital world: this takes the form of a communication which is honest and open, responsible and respectful of others. To proclaim the Gospel through the new media means not only to insert expressly religious content into different media platforms, but also to witness consistently, in one’s own digital profile and in the way one communicates choices, preferences and judgements that are fully consistent with the Gospel, even when it is not spoken of specifically. Furthermore, it is also true in the digital world that a message cannot be proclaimed without a consistent witness on the part of the one who proclaims it. In these new circumstances and with these new forms of expression, Christian are once again called to offer a response to anyone who asks for a reason for the hope that is within them (cf. 1 Pet 3:15).

Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Do implicitly condone the institutionalized molestation of children by agreeing to never report instances of abuse. But don’t tell people online you’re athletically built when you’re really more of a husky.

Glad that’s cleared up. Thanks, Catholicism!

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Dan

    Ah, religion.

  2. Zombie Corpse of John Paul II

    Preach it, Brother Ratz! I grow quite weary of peeps misrepresenting, yo.
    Chris Hanson, Baby Jesus knows when you lie on the internet.

  3. So now child molesters are gonna be more open now.

  4. Tope Fasasi

    dat’s the real truth

  5. Peter

    Why is this post on “The Superficial?” Shouldn’t it be more like a Geekologie post? Your ignorant hatred of all things religious aside, I mean.

    • not why I'm here

      Agreed. Stick to the Lohans, Spears and Coco’s and leave this for another site.

    • Colin

      Yeah, because NOT blindly following everything the Pope says is ignorant. I think it fits in well with the theme of the site. Overblown, self-righteous fame whore who will say anything to get heard for a few seconds, even if it’s irrelevant and hypocritical. I mean, the guy’s practically a Lohan.

    • very confused

      I am not sure why Europeans and their cultural derivatives are worshipping middle eastern bullshit. We had our own philosphies and don’t need theirs.
      Can’t see the logic of a God choosing one special “people” (in a universe of counteless trillions of worlds) and then sending his son in the flesh to die in agony…never mind…
      *Looks up in the sky*…the Sun is still there…all is well!

      • BarneyFrank

        Yes they should be following a true religion where they stripping naked with flowers up their asses and dancing around a fire praying to mother earth–so mote it be godess.

      • dippin in doo

        awww Barny, get a nose job ya soft ugly fuck

  6. xerozs

    “yooo mothafockers… da pope is in da house… put yur ‘ands in the aaaiiiirr!” *starts breakdancing with the dudes in the back*

  7. Father Donnelly

    Read you loud and clear, Big Daddy. Let me know when you get the child porn hotlinked for us at vatican.va

    • Da people have Spoken

      Nice!!!! Most important person on the internet!! You gotta be #1 on that list but of course only if Fish is man enough to allow it.

      anyway, Amen Father Donnelly Amen!!!

  8. Richard McBeef

    Why don’t you stick with the fairy tale shit and leave real life alone. Aren’t there some pederasts you need to shuffle.

  9. Liz

    Nice shoes Barbara Walters

  10. Melody

    Sounds like the Pope got bored of all the liars on Chatroulette who are only PRETENDING to be 15 y.o. Asian boys. Him and me both, man…

  11. Mortimer Duke

    Catholicism and all its “turn a blind eye” followers can eat a dick. Wait…

  12. Blah blah blah, Why would I give a shit what the pope says. Let him go back to humping little alter boys and shut the fuck up!!

  13. Rancid

    Wait – are you supposed to wear red shoes in January?

  14. sarah

    It’s pretty funny that someone posting on a site as worthless as superficial.com would deem themselves credible enough to attack Catholicism. Don’t you have a Snooki or Sarah Palin sighting you should be reporting? You’re just jealous because Pope Benedict was totally rockin’ those shoes.

    • does the pope wear red shoes?

      See thats the best part of freethinking. You get to make fun of all kinds of retards that believe in an imaginary friend.

  15. Tax the Catholic church. It’s the richest organization in the world.
    That’s why it’s also one of the most corrupt.

  16. Hey Pope, Dorothy called. She wants her slippers back.

  17. Disappointed

    This post disappoined me Fish.. enough that Im considering removing your link from my favs. It’s not that I find it offensive.. its just I dont give a shit about your dislike of the catholic church. If I want to read about someones religious or atheist views then I’ll go to their religious/athiest blog. I come.. came here to read dirt about celebs and see their boobs. Stay on topic.. I dont care what your beliefs are.

    • Mortimer Duke

      We dont care about your whining either so pull your tampon out and shut the fuck up.

      “oooh im gonna remove you from my favorites” As if he even knew he was in some lame asses favorites. Gimme a break. Youre not that important.

      • Disappointed

        I’m at least as important as you. I visit this site daily and its my traffic that regulates the revenue for this site. Sure its a drop in the bucket but saying it doesnt count would be like saying your vote for president doesnt count.. then again with your mentality you probably don’t vote for that reason.

    • This is on topic. The pope is a celebrity who is full of bullshit (much like, say, Snooki) and deserves to be mocked for his self-importance (again, like Snooki) and scorned for both implicitly and explicitly defending child molestation and the people who commit it (in this regard Snooki is actually a better person than the pope; so good on you, Snooki!).

      You want to read dirt on a celebrity? There’s all sorts of dirt on ol’ Ratzy.

  18. slappy magoo

    Well, that’s easy for him to say. He’s the Pope. He can pick up all sorts of prepubescent boy-tail. Some of us have to work harder.

  19. slappy magoo

    Seriously, it’s like Public Service Announcements where one of the hottest actresses on the planet tells young girls to “be ok with you are, and everyone else will be ok with you too.” Yeah when everyone wants to yummy down on you, it’s easy to be yourself, your imaginary best friend, your split personality, whoever. Teens with zits the size of canned hams might need to hear it from someone who’s actually had to work the personality thing at least once in their lives.

  20. Ibangedfishsmom

    Yay! a religious/political post! god this site has gone down hill. CELEBRITY BOOBS IS WHY WE’RE HERE, not to get force fed your dumb thoughts. Your just as bad as the right wing nut jobs. I wouldve thought you wouldve figured this out as your traffic has dropped dramatically because YOUR SITE SUCKS NOW

  21. kuku

    i’m sorry, but this entry is in bad taste. i’m Catholic…
    guess i shouldn’t be reading the site, not that you care:)

  22. Shit, I guess that means I have to stop using my “PontiffBenny69″ handle.

  23. Gavagai

    “There’s no place like Rome… There’s no place like Rome… There’s no place like Rome…”

  24. Smaug

    I will cheer when he dies, just as I did for the last pope.

  25. Mcrough

    Looks like another topic where we get whoop by the China-men…

  26. Jim Jones

    Be yourself, so long as you’re not gay, anyway.

  27. TomFrank

    Raise your hand if you had to look up “Leeroy Jenkins.”

    *raises hand*

  28. lori

    Hilarious!!

  29. sallysallysally

    Seems to me that you have extracted one of the most insignificant and confusing paragraphs from the entire document, and (rightly so, I guess) have taken advantage of the fact that the readers of this site come here to relax – and probably skimmed the transcript and ignored the link – only to have your own personal little tantrum with religion and feel better because people write comments cheering you on, because they are your fans, as am I. I’m not a religious person and usually really like what you have to say about it and other things in general (except for all the sports talk lately), because you are usually smart, fair, well informed and somewhat controlled (see the Katy Perry religion posts a while back), but this is just plain offensive to probably a lot of people. Not all of the clergy are evil child molesters. Reading nasty comments about a man like Pope Woytila here really pisses me off, despite my vast personal problems with the Catholic church and the way it is lead. Finally and most importantly, none of what you wrote here is at all related or backed up by the document to which you linked the post.

  30. Cath-y

    Idiot superficial writer – that’s what I want to say but can’t because if I did, I would be missing the Pope’s point and spreading the hate. So let’s just ask — Fish — did you even read the passage? Because your response kinda has nothing to do with it. Unless, of course, we consider that your response is out of some kind of deeply embedded defense mechanism, because, let’s face it, this site is exactly what he is talking about. All no-names spreading the hate and hiding behind IP addresses. It’s actually an interesting passage — he is saying medium doesn’t trump message, and that none of us can really hide, not from oneself and certainly not from God/G-d/Jehova/Karma/Great Spirit, etc.

  31. gigi

    …yeah, nice shoes Ratzinger…

  32. Jon Hex

    Sounds like a man who’s been burned by Chris Hansen one too many times.

  33. The catholic humans will demonize the other sexualities like the zoosexuals, but have their own kind of sex. Let us not condemn whoever lest we be condemn ourselves. Just let the sex occur on this planet of sex,and seek out our own salvation with fear, and trembling so we are right with God, and man,and not going after each other throats. Jesus is a body huger,and not a throat choker.

  34. The catholic humans will demonize the other sexualities like the zoosexuals, but have their own kind of sex. Let us not condemn whoever lest we condemn ourselves. Just let the sex occur on this planet of sex,and seek out our own salvation with fear, and trembling so we are right with God, and man,and not going after each other throats. Jesus is a body huger,and not a throat choker.

  35. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    He likes authenticity which is why he is wearing those red shoes. Just like Jesus wore. Are those Prada?

  36. wow

    At least I have chicken

  37. Burt

    “It follows that there exists a Christian way of being present in the digital world: this takes the form of a communication which is honest and open, responsible and respectful of others.”

    Coming from people who systematically hid evidence, even suspects, of child abuse for years, if not centuries.

  38. Rob Frost

    So.. it’s not OK to have a Facebook troll account?

  39. freakydeaky

    hes just got done partying with Hugh Hefner, its obvious, check out the shoes. or maybe they are just jew skin moccasins

  40. dead peter

    Translation: “If you’re going to send pictures of your penis to a child on the internet, don’t try to make it look bigger than it is by using fancy angles. Don’t give your measurements in centimeters and pretend they’re inches; they don’t know the difference. In other words, just be yourself. And if it scares them, well, their legs are shorter than yours, and you can outrun them. Just as God intended. Amen.”

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