The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.9

March 15th, 2014 // 56 Comments

Welcome to another Sasquatchular installment of The Most Important People on The Internet our grab bag of commentical wonder from throughout the week. And just like last Saturday’s, we’ve got another awesome long-form that deserves better treatment than our gallery offers – And apologies to Gilberator for not thinking of this when he was churning these out. – so you’ll find another one of those below. Will I keep doing this every week? Who knows? It’s a mystery. Much like what I do at night when the lights go down, and the city becomes a cesspool of crime. Perhaps you noticed the masked man who suddenly appeared on the rooftops only to immediately after he hit his ankle on a drain pipe, his cries of “Ow my leggy!” and “Fuck this!” echoing for all to hear. Because that definitely wasn’t me. I was home, uh, masturbating. That’s it. Master catering…

 

Ireland Baldwin New Boyfriend Chateau Marmont

“There was me, that is Ireland, and my three droogs, that is Vanilla Ice, Alonso Ribeiro, and Slater Trout, and we sat in the Chateau Marmont Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Chateau Milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or Lohancrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.”

Said NewDave on The Crap We Missed – Thursday 3.13.14

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  2. Kiefer Sutherland Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Love this one!

  3. Patina Miller Surprised Look Awful Caricature Max Klimavicius Sardis Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha!

  4. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    Blumpkin
    Commented on this photo:

    A body only a black man could love .

  5. Earvin Johnson III Fur Collar Cheetah Slippers
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a fabulous look. It can work for anyone. ANYONE
    I challenge any of our regular posters to dress like this, head out to their favorite watering hole and then see how quickly the suitors gather around.

  6. RJ Mitte Terry Richardson
    ElBurrito
    Commented on this photo:

    That was cute.

  7. Bridget Marquardt Legs Cleavage Minidress Style Fashion Week LA Live Event Deck Day 4
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly thought it was Dina Lohan.

  8. Lena Dunham SXSW
    "ReverseRacist"Poster
    Commented on this photo:

    A body only a white man could love

  9. Lena Dunham SXSW
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

  10. Bridget Marquardt Legs Cleavage Minidress Style Fashion Week LA Live Event Deck Day 4
    Herkimer Battle Jitney
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is it?

  11. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    nbdy
    Commented on this photo:

    TMIPOTI has a mean streak this week. Almost all the jokes can be boiled down to fat, ugly, hairy, horsey, loose and black.

    And rapey, but Dottie and Cosby deserve that 110%.

  12. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    BB
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice.

  13. RJ Mitte Terry Richardson
    Cynthia
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, this is the funniest one EVER. So simple. Thanks for the belly laugh.

  14. Earvin Johnson III Fur Collar Cheetah Slippers
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL

  15. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    Jeeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I feel, that late night comedy shows, troll the internet for free jokes on their show?

  16. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow…I’m sorry, but this was not funny. Or perhaps, I don’t understand…please explain.

  17. Russell Simmons Twisted Arms ADD52 Musical Showcase And Yoga Session At The Samsung Galaxy Experience SXSW
    Jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry…not that funny.

    • We get it, your sense of humour is broken and you could make and choose much funnier comments every single time with your eyes closed and both hands tied behind your back. Move on already.

  18. Earvin Johnson III Fur Collar Cheetah Slippers
    jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    Again…not the funniest comment made.

  19. Kiefer Sutherland Drunk
    jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    Again, not the funniest comment provided to the Superficial.

  20. RJ Mitte Terry Richardson
    jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not laughing.

  21. Sarah Jessica Parker Excited Shoe Line Launch Nordstroms
    jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    Not funny…its funny-ish…but not funny.

  22. Bridget Marquardt Legs Cleavage Minidress Style Fashion Week LA Live Event Deck Day 4
    jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    Not funny…funny-ish…but not funny.

  23. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    What?!?!?!?! is this funny? “Just a pinch”? Okay, Superficial…you are just picking these at random, to piss us off. So, sad…this sight usta be where I could get a laugh.

  24. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    jeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    groan

  25. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    Assbestos
    Commented on this photo:

    “I just picked up these distressed jean shorts from Donna Karen’s ‘Delusional’ collection”.

  26. Scout Willis Huge Jaw Only Lovers Left Alive Screening
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she would be much more attractive if her nose was wider to balance the effect of a prominent chin…..she has lovely eyes

  27. AnnaLynne McCord Thong Sticking Out Of Jeans Belly Crop Top
    Commented on this photo:

    wheres the breast?

  28. RJ Mitte Terry Richardson
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “C’mon. At least show a little pubic hair for the camera.”
    “N-no! Y-you killed Uncle Hank!”

  29. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    brian
    Commented on this photo:

    Loving all that ass hanging out!

  30. Scout Willis Huge Jaw Only Lovers Left Alive Screening
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Priceless

  31. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    Gern Blanstan
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll go on record to say that I think she is rather attractive. It is just when compared with her sisters, and their store-bought features, that she looks bad.

    …and I kinda like the “walking the stroll” look.

  32. Scout Willis Huge Jaw Only Lovers Left Alive Screening
    baccus vd
    Commented on this photo:

    she actually looks okay in this pic… remember she also has a BANGIN Demi Moore-esc body.

  33. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the vomit that landed on Lady GaGa?

  34. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    guest
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe she would go out of the house looking like that. She looks trashy, low-class, and a $5 hooker.

  35. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    guest
    Commented on this photo:

    Khloe is who I am referring to in my upper post.

  36. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Jennyfurr
    Commented on this photo:

    I put just a pinch of roofies in their jell-o pudding pops … then I raped them.

  37. DaKBro

    Khloe is stepping up her attention whore game.
    Somebody get this bitch a mirror fast…yikes!

  38. Khloe Kardashian Butt Legs Cleavage Daisy Dukes Hooker Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen better looking $5 hookers.

  39. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it that she can’t remove the implants? Because I’ve never seen anything so unnatural in my life.

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