The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.8

March 8th, 2014 // 27 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which for those of you joining us for the first time after Googling “Jennette McCurdy Nude” (Congratulations, you’ve been disappointed and put in a federal database.), this is where I highlight the comments that somehow managed to make me, a joyless, dead-inside publisher of celebrity tits chuckle. On that note, we have a strong showing this week including The Pope‘s comment below which would get mangled in our gallery setup but demands to be seen. Mostly because it’s blasphemous as shit, but there’s also a butt, so it hits all four quadrants. Enjoy:

Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, “You promised me, Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I stopped to check out your ass and masturbate. I can’t do that and walk at the same time.”

Said The Pope on The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.7.14

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Bikini Talking On Cell Phone In Ocean
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  2. Alec Baldwin Carrying Baby Carmen Hilaria Baldwin
    Commented on this photo:

    Love it!

  3. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    It was a good collection.

  4. Guy Fingering Doll Pink Tokyo Japanese Sex Industry Trade Show
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    Well played.

  5. Lady Gaga Drunk Passed Out On Donatella Versace 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  6. Alec Baldwin Digging Through Trash Still Alice Set
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    Awesome

  7. Lady Gaga Drunk Passed Out On Donatella Versace 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    i think the real question is, which one has aids?
    and which one is moments from death?

  8. Lady Gaga Drunk Passed Out On Donatella Versace 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see if I have this right. One of them was born that way and the other paid someone to make her look that way. Which is which?

  9. Jonah Hill Girlfriend Isabelle McNally
    Scott
    Commented on this photo:

    best one!

  10. Chris Evans Full Beard Backwards Hat
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    Ha

  11. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Cleavage Chateau Marmont
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    LOL

  12. Pamela Anderson Legs Jumper Husband Rick Salomon Sweatpants Old Man Sweater
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    A+ as usual!

  13. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
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    ohmyfuck XD

  14. Sean Penn Pissed Off Waiting For Baggage JFK Airport
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    best one yet !

  15. Guy Fingering Doll Pink Tokyo Japanese Sex Industry Trade Show
    Commented on this photo:

    - spoke too soon about “best one yet”

  16. Sarah Jessica Parker
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    Indeed it was, Don Z, indeed it was!

  17. Sean Penn Pissed Off Waiting For Baggage JFK Airport
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    Sweet Jeebus… please, please, PLEASE let this win comment of the year.

  18. Scarlett Johansson Pregnant Fiance Romain Dauriac 39th Cesar Film Awards
    Poondock
    Commented on this photo:

    so she’s dating the Axeman

  19. Sean Penn Pissed Off Waiting For Baggage JFK Airport
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice!

  20. Jack Nicholson Son
    Commented on this photo:

    LMFAO! I somehow missed this one.

  21. Lady Gaga Drunk Passed Out On Donatella Versace 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha!

  22. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the greatest one I have read in a long while. Brilliant.

  23. Jack Nicholson Son
    Hugh Evers
    Commented on this photo:

    Golf clap

  24. Alec Baldwin Digging Through Trash Still Alice Set
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol

  25. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    WANT MOR BIEBER EBONIKS

  26. David Hasselhoff Skull Ring
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m fucking choking, one of the best ever

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