Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which for those of you joining us for the first time after Googling “Jennette McCurdy Nude” (Congratulations, you’ve been disappointed and put in a federal database.), this is where I highlight the comments that somehow managed to make me, a joyless, dead-inside publisher of celebrity tits chuckle. On that note, we have a strong showing this week including The Pope‘s comment below which would get mangled in our gallery setup but demands to be seen. Mostly because it’s blasphemous as shit, but there’s also a butt, so it hits all four quadrants. Enjoy:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, “You promised me, Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I stopped to check out your ass and masturbate. I can’t do that and walk at the same time.”
Said The Pope on The Crap We Missed – Friday 3.7.14