The Most Important People on The Internet:
Now that our server has finally stopped crying and repeatedly scrubbing itself in the shower thanks to The Fappening, welcome to the triumphant return of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring a robust assortment of shit-tastical comments that I’ve been diligently curating over the past three weeks because you have no idea how sad my life is. That said, there are several of these that could’ve easily made it to the coveted final spot, and quite frankly, I’m still going back and forth between the one that made it and the sweet Walter Jr. (I’m sorry, Flynn.) joke. It’s like trying to pick which one of my kids gets to go off to college and which one has to drive a fork-lift in our dead-end town until his impotent rage ends in a fatal showdown with the police after a series of brutal, ritualistic murders. People make those kinds of decisions, right? Please say yes, or I’m going to have to rewrite this entire parenting book. There’s a whole chapter on choosing the right college so The Neglected One will paint his victims to look like Hamburglar. Goddammit.