The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.10

March 22nd, 2014 // 37 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which has to be, by far, the most randomly clever group of comments because, holy shit, are a bunch of these brilliant, but holy shit, will a bunch of you probably not get them. One even involves a calculator. The important thing is it bookended by January Jones, who is admittedly goddamn hot for an eater of souls. I’m man enough to admit that, and also, highly susceptible to sorcery. (I traded my Elvish cloak for a Batarang.)

- The Superficial

superficial

  1. Donald Trump
    Commented on this photo:

    Bravo!

  2. January Jones Nude
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    A rare event indeed; Don Z. making negative comments RE: naked celebrity female.
    I’m sure he’d be willing to disregard that inconvenient draining of souls thing and do her.

  3. Ozzy Osbourne Sharon Osbourne LA Gay & Lesbian Center Evening With Women Kick Off Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    It has been ages since I have done “Mesc” but boy does that sound familiar!

  4. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Even though it’s a very funny comment I don’t believe person pictured above should be acknowledged with any kind of “celebrity” recognition here or anywhere else.

  5. Jenny McCarthy Laughing Into Phone Annual Charity Day
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Dumb bitch: thanks for doing your part to compromise our herd immunity and instill fear & doubt RE: greatest medical advance of past millennium.

    • Urbanspaceman

      She’s not dumb. She’s smarter than you and she’s smarter than me. Like the Kardashians she’s living the American Dream as it’s defined in the 21st century. She contributes nothing to society, people worship her and believe everything she says and the money keeps rolling in.

      • Dox

        Intelligence is not defined by material success. The mere fact that she is willing to compromise countless lives, and allow pestilence and disease to rampage through entire populations based solely on junk science firmly places her in the “stupid twit” category.

  6. Jenny McCarthy Laughing Into Phone Annual Charity Day
    sloppy redneck
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello, I’m a dumb sloppy whore .. How can I help you ?

  7. Blake Lively Sticking Out Tongue Age Of Adaline Set
    MZ MIZRY
    Commented on this photo:

    thats how she catches the moles that try to jump.

  8. Tyler The Creator Mugshot Inciting A Riot Arrest SXSW
    B
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like cannibals shrunk his head.

  9. Jenny McCarthy Laughing Into Phone Annual Charity Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Why anybody would listen to this woman about anything concerning medicine is beyond me.

  10. Donald Trump
    Commented on this photo:

    Love it.

  11. Keanu Reeves
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  12. Blake Lively Sticking Out Tongue Age Of Adaline Set
    Doctor_Joystick
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, I knew you we’re one of the few people that would find this amusing, thanks.

  13. Donald Trump
    B
    Commented on this photo:

    oompha lumpa, ompa-dee-doo! Have I… got a comb over, just.. for …you!

  14. Ozzy Osbourne Sharon Osbourne LA Gay & Lesbian Center Evening With Women Kick Off Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice.

  15. Ashton Kutcher Jogging Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Obviously he sucks at math and knowing how to celebrate March 14. Let’s hope he does better on June 28.

  16. Jenny McCarthy Laughing Into Phone Annual Charity Day
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello? Huh? Your child died of whooping cough? No, I’m not laughing!”

  17. January Jones Nude
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice!

  18. Ozzy Osbourne Sharon Osbourne LA Gay & Lesbian Center Evening With Women Kick Off Concert
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s weird that every time Ozzie gets photographed he has that expression.

  19. Kate Winslet Cleavage Mom Boobs Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star
    Daaaaayve
    Commented on this photo:

    That is FUNNY, dude!

  20. January Jones Nude
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha!

    I am always curious how the agent/client discussions go for shit like this.

    ‘Hey, they want to shoot you naked in a bathtub of black water. We’ll put a tonne of heroin eye makeup on you .. it will be in black and white, so that makes it really artistic and classy’.

    ‘Perfect!’

  21. Deacon Jones

    Awful… I’ve been too busy….

  22. Ozzy Osbourne Sharon Osbourne LA Gay & Lesbian Center Evening With Women Kick Off Concert
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    We all know about his history with bat country.

  23. January Jones Nude
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice one Don!

  24. Jonah Hill Hugging Excited Fat Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    This pretty much explains what happened to thin Jonah.

  25. Cee Lo Green Lifting Up Rachel Ray SXSW
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey…It could happen.

  26. Keanu Reeves
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why yes, I could save the world from the machines, but *lights cigarette* who will save me from myself? *gazes into the distance from cafe patio*”

  27. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to hate-fuck him.

  28. January Jones Nude
    Commented on this photo:

    The ONE time he makes a negative comment about a female celebrity and it’s gold, Jerry! GOLD!!

  29. Anthony Kiedis
    huh
    Commented on this photo:

    is that his daughter?

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