Welcome to the 34th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that five of you will read because this is a special time in America where we honor Jesus defeating the English with nothing but an AK-47 and privatized health care by shooting fireworks into each others faces. So, enjoy this week’s smattering of comments, and also a tip of the hat to the commenters who brought true hilarity to my blackened heart. Namely every single dude who flipped the fuck out on the ‘Quentin Tarantino Sucked My Toes’ post. Apparently there’s a shocking amount of you who don’t realize women really do care about the size of our peni and tell all their friends how terrible we are in bed. Chances are if you’ve found yourself wondering if it’s too small, she’s told at least five people that it is, and also that time you farted when she took her pants off. Nothing is sacred which is why you should always go into sex like I do: With total disbelief that it’s happening and fully prepared that it won’t ever again because they hold all the vaginas. For now…
Yeesh, that came off rapey,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Splash News
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“Yah! Did somebody open the Ark of the Covenant?”
Why is the other Sasquatch sister all over the page ?
Attack of the Giant Asses!
Who ya gonna call?
ET… phone home.
Before you say, “I don’t get it”: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2492/3921825258_70d74d675d_o.jpg
Thank you!
Well, you were barely out of diapers when that cartoon ran.
Possibly the winner!
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Awesome
One of the better collections of comments in several weeks.
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How very… meta.
weak comment
Do you actually know what the Doonesbury characters look like?
I doubt they do, because once I read that I went “Holy shit, it’s true!”
i thought it was Vin Diesel with downs syndrome.
That’s pretty funny. Good for Hef, though. Chick is uber hot.
You gotta admit: Hugh gives new meaning to the term “replaceable parts”. The dude gets dumped at the altar and does not miss a beat. Actually, he’s probably relieved that her “mask” came off before he drove her off the lot (excuse the mixed metaphor). Rock on, HUGH!
The chicks he bangs all look exactly alike: fake tits, bleached blond hair, dead eyes. He probably doesn’t even realize when the girls change.
Maybe it’s not him who switches girls, maybe its his staff.
You know, kinda lika parents who secretly replace their kids dead goldfish with a new one that looks exactly like the old one.
Hef probably thinks he’s still dating the same blonde from two decades ago.
HAHAHA!!!
That’s a damned strong start.
brilliant.
It’s funny because it’s true.
The mythical fifth wall… at long last.
Vin diesel doesn’t have downs syndrome?
He does now. See above.
“we honor Jesus defeating the English with nothing but an AK-47 and privatized health care ” – the same “private” health care that helps almost 200,000,000 Americans afford their healthcare you retard. Once again, stick to tits and retard celebrities and leave politics to the adults!
Providing healthcare to half our population and bankrupting many in the process isn’t exactly a feather in our cap, you fucking cretin.
So she did tell at least five people how small it is……tough when Fish hit’s a nerve.
What fucking fairyland are you living in you retard. Typical of numbnuts who contribute nothing to society but are overpaid and have no idea about the lives of real people who actually do the work that keeps the country running.
Just keep looking at the tits that get posted and shut the fuck up cunt.
I am not sure if you know, but there are over 300 million people in this country, so quoting a statistic that states that over 33% of the country is fucked and cannot afford health care is not exactly a sign of great success.
If a car dealer sold you a car and said it will work about 66% of the time, or Boeing or Airbus told you their planes only crash 33% of the time, would you be happy about that, and you buy the car or fly in the plane?
If we can spend a million dollars on one missile and a billion dollars on a fighter jet, then I think it is more than reasonable that 100% of the population should have health care.
Such an old joke…..
Those are what are commonly referred to as child bearing hips.
“and tell all their friends how terrible we are in bed”
Well, if we tell our friends that there were 4 orgasms in as many minutes & you’re the greatest ever, she’ll be after you.
Happy 4th ya’ll.
Keep telling yourself that and maybe it will become true. All it gets you is “the legend in his own mind” label. Like you’re the first guy that thought of that one! Hahahahaha! (I needed a good laugh…)
It is my understanding that Cock Dr is not a guy.
Whoops! My mistake…so much for taking a minute to skim..
Nice!
nice one
Thanks – fish! I thought I was the only one who didn’t realize that there were that many delusional men out there. LOL.
Happy Fourth to ya!
hah, I liked this one.
Hahh!!!!
I’m going to suggest a Superficial “Year End Wrapup” edition of most important…this is easily the best comment of the year.
Another one for the year end wrapup…
I’d like to nominate “Puh-in Onna Rihhhhz!” for that wrap-up.
Well, at least it wasn’t a teenager!! That’s what you get for being a self-righteous idiot!! I like what he does, but he is so smug!!
That is one ugly ass woman!! No wonder she had in-vitro, no one could fuck her without 10 bags and being drunk!!!
airplane
She could be Michelle Rodriguez’ kid in this pic
Oh yeah, they do look kind of similar here.
yeah, they both like vagina
Lol
Ghostbusters!
Great screen name, BTW.
This is mini-me, right? If so, he is a douche bag and I will allow myself to laugh at the caption.
You might not be aware, but Mini-Me is a fictional character…Verne Troyer is likely quite a bit less evil.
Did you watch his reality show? Mini-me is the nice one.
Ha!
Wow, the kid’s head is as big as hers.
I don’t know why, this comment took me a few reads to get. Maybe I just need some coffee.
haha same here..but in the end..when it made sense..i loved it
kill it with bleach then fire then cover the entire thing in concrete.
Meh. She’s like almost 40, right? And most of her fans are lesbians and Kevin Smith.
Nooo kidding.
I don’t know why, but I giggled. I still have no idea who this guy is though.
hahaha!
My vote
“I dug out a giant booger and half my face collapsed. (reporters shout in background) What? Yes, with THIS finger…”
That Far Side cartoon is the best cartoon of all time. OF ALL TIME, SON!
She has not aged well, looks like Hillary Clinton