The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 33

June 25th, 2011 // 149 Comments

Welcome to the 33rd installment of The Most Important People on The Internet and I’d just like to say a special thanks to the comments that really made me laugh this week, but got lost in the mix on account of the Ryan Dunn flame wars. I’m talking about you, Steven Spielberg conspiracy theorists on the Megan Fox post with your wacky talks of eugenics and claims of colluding with George Lucas and James Cameron to propagandize America into accepting our new Chinese overlords. I saw what you did there.

Tip of the hat to New York for stepping out of the Dark Ages,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Britney Spears
    Tip Your Veal
    Commented on this photo:

    A tuba frosting maybe.

  2. Calista Flockhart Harrison Ford Kissing
    Commented on this photo:

    Annnnnnd, CUT.

  3. Bam Margera Lightsaber
    Commented on this photo:

    Charming. I guarantee their fuck-life sucks. If you are make-believing fucking laser beams in a public forum, what’s left to be done in the bedroom…missionary?

  4. Bristol Palin Memoir Levi Johnston Rape
    Commented on this photo:

    What would prompt someone to elongate their chin, and woody-wood-peck their nose? I’m sure the last name Palin had nothing to do with it at all.

  5. Trace Cyrus
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    Comment of the week right there.

  6. Corey Feldman
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha! Excellent!

  7. Britney Spears
    Sass
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Danny DeVito get blond extensions?

  8. chev70

    “Fir…… oh!”

  9. David Hasselhoff
    Jamie
    Commented on this photo:

    totally the best one.

  10. David Hasselhoff
    Haddo01
    Commented on this photo:

    Best to date

  11. Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    TCLTC

  12. Miley Cyrus Vagina Glitter Heart
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    win

  13. Calista Flockhart Harrison Ford Kissing
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    well done, McFeely!

  14. Ryan Gosling
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    hahaha. Killing me.

  15. David Hasselhoff
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Pure Gold.

  16. Britney Spears
    surgerylass
    Commented on this photo:

    And she is only 29. I look that good,.. better than that, at 52.

  17. Calista Flockhart Harrison Ford Kissing
    surgerylass
    Commented on this photo:

    You guys wouldn’t know “anorexia” if you saw it .. she is healthy but thin.

  18. kulit

    looks like a rabid raccoon.

  19. Sam Elliot
    surgerylass
    Commented on this photo:

    The sexiest older man on the planet ! I should be so fortunate.

  20. Mama Pinkus

    Dusty Springfield did raccoon eyes with class; this gal looks utterly ridiculous

  21. Trace Cyrus
    Lunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Hee hee. This one made me chuckle.

  22. Kim Kardashian Butt X-Ray
    ali
    Commented on this photo:

    Ryan Dunn lived like he died. With car parts in his anus.

  23. Trace Cyrus
    Jon
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a man baby.

  24. Sam Elliot
    irishboyo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m confused — is this Sam Elliot or Larry David?

  25. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    lemon
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look! That’s where my career went!!”

  26. Trace Cyrus
    lemon
    Commented on this photo:

    Wtf is with those horrible facial tattoos? I wonder if Miley is going to copy her brother on this, too.

  27. Taylor Momsen
    Dick Dickerson
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when humans mate with aliens

  28. Linsday Lohan Court Probation Violation
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay honors the second anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death by rocking the official MJ Tan Line.

  29. Taylor Momsen
    RPColtrane
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh haiiii! I have hand jaundice!

  30. Kirstie Alley
    M
    Commented on this photo:

    She’ll put all the weight back on in 2 weeks. Now if she could only fix her face…

  31. Taylor Momsen
    J
    Commented on this photo:

    I loved her in nightmare before Christmas!

  32. Bow Chica Wow Wow

    Are you tapped?

    • Bow Chica Wow Wow

      He is advertising a penny auction site which is basically a form of gambling. Copy and paste and you responded to it fucktard. Just click on the ads on the sides of pages and you will be fine.

  33. Miley Cyrus Vagina Glitter Heart
    dotmatrix
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s harsh. Funny and true, but harsh.

  34. David Hasselhoff
    dotmatrix
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, you can shut down this wretched site now. The bar’s been raised so high there’s no chance of clearing it.

  35. Daily Moisturizing

    She could save a lot of cash on eyeliner if she would just allow people to punch her or mistakingly stick their penis in her eye. It might be an improvement.

  36. Calista Flockhart Harrison Ford Kissing
    Carlton Banks
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s my family!

  37. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Your Momma's Valtrex
    Commented on this photo:

    Lame . . .

  38. Trace Cyrus
    Your Momma's Valtrex
    Commented on this photo:

    Kill it with fire.

  39. Adam Scott
    Canadianhouseguest
    Commented on this photo:

    People say the most beautiful faces are symmetrical, but I digress. Oh yes, I digress.

  40. Chyna Adult Video Back Door To Chyna
    Canadianhouseguest
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t get it.

  41. Chyna Adult Video Back Door To Chyna
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    Who and what is this comment pertaining to?

    • TomFrank

      My impression was that the commenter was likening Chyna (pornstar turned wrestler turned pornstar) to a pig.

  42. Ryan Gosling
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    So… is any random animal being referred to as “Chloe” now funny? Is that how this works? Relevance is unnecessary?

  43. David Hasselhoff
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s funny.

  44. Trace Cyrus
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha ha! Wait… what is this? I see that it’s a Cyrus but this is just about the most genderless human being I’ve ever seen. Outside of Asians.

  45. Taylor Momsen
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Which Olsen twin is that?
    The one that dresses like an Emo Grandmother or, uh, the other one that dresses like a homeless Grandmother?

  46. Linsday Lohan Court Probation Violation
    Christi
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we talk about that catchers mitt of a hand?

  47. Britney Spears
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    i would still want to roll around over this all night

  48. Linsday Lohan Court Probation Violation
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s weird,
    pretty soon the headline will read:
    “She Still Walks….”
    and we’ll eat it up

  49. Britney Spears
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    i pray my pussy the lord to take,
    wait….

  50. bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    a cluster-fuck of hypocrisies and contradictions….

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