The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.22

July 13th, 2013 // 61 Comments

Welcome to the return of The Most Important People on The Internet after another two week hiatus because God forbid America goes one year without a birthday party. You’re 237 years old, act your age. Anyway, I wrote 2,787 words about punching robots yesterday, so I’m immediately ducking out of the way and letting your dick jokes do the lifting. But first, a special thanks to this week final comment for somehow achieving both horribleness and an unbridled sense of hope. For the first time in my life, I no longer fear death.

*assumes Lotus position*

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin

superficial

  1. Katie Price Cleavage Giant Lip Costume Kissable Fragrance Launch
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The Little Sex Shop of Horrors…that’s where you can get these.

  2. John Travolta Dancing With Shirtless Brazilian Men
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Those guys are either absurdly cheerful OR he really is saying something really funny for a chance.

  3. Katie Price Cleavage Giant Lip Costume Kissable Fragrance Launch
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Was it some sort of Halloween holiday in the UK that day?
    Is that get-up actually being used to market a product?

    • ThisWillHurt

      Nope, the Kardashian family pays her to look more absurd than they do. How do you think Ryan Locke got his show?

  4. John Travolta Dancing With Shirtless Brazilian Men
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I recall DJ went a little nuts on that photo series.

  5. Aurelie Filippetti Karl Lagerfeld Rihanna Chanel Show Fasion Week Paris
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That may be the best way to approach old age….by becoming an extreme caricature of oneself.
    That and wearing sunglasses, big ones.

  6. Prince Charles
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    *applause for concept & wordcraft*

  7. Adrianna Luna Lone Ranger Porn Parody
    Commented on this photo:

    no problem mr. cruise.
    we can just photoshop another pic of you from the waist up onto the first pic to make you taller and tada!-
    no one will ever know.

  8. Aaron Sorkin Dark Tan Jeff Daniels Derp Face The Newsroom Season Two Premiere
    Guesty
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorkin wishes he could write with the subtlety of the Farrelly brothers. Cokey fucking fool.

  9. Joe Jonas Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler Bike Ride
    Commented on this photo:

    fucking win

  10. Kelsey Grammer Holding Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    A+++

  11. Kaley Cuoco Henry Cavill
    Commented on this photo:

    lol!

  12. Aurelie Filippetti Karl Lagerfeld Rihanna Chanel Show Fasion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously can see Kunty Karl saying this & that’s why I love him.

  13. Rob Kardashian Fat
    Commented on this photo:

    fcuking aweomse

  14. Jonah Hill
    Commented on this photo:

    Exactly how this fat doucher goes about his day.

  15. Coco
    Commented on this photo:

    ha!

  16. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Jason Statham Tongue Out Sunglasses Store
    Commented on this photo:

    *dies*

  17. Prince Charles
    Commented on this photo:

    DAMN, G does it again.

  18. Maria Shriver
    Commented on this photo:

    No shit, damn, just her age can’t account for the Skeletorishness. Austrian Nazi-induced manorexercise and multiple childbearing is no way to live.

  19. Jonah Hill
    Guesty
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s regaining with a T. Swiftness. Better hope studios start paying talent by the pound.

  20. Kelly Brook Eating Popsicle Taking Stock Set
    Commented on this photo:

    … THIS, definitely worth the wait & definitely atrociously life-after-death-affirming. Thanks for keeping me on the turbo-charged handbasket to hell, Fish ^_^

  21. Huzzah! I totally went through MIPOTI withdrawal. I know, I have a problem. I’ll start going to therapy, right after I get my money situation sorted, I promise.

  22. Katherine Heigl Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    In Instachrome colours!

  23. Joe Jonas Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler Bike Ride
    Commented on this photo:

    Nancy Nazi would go over as one hell of a porn name in some places.

  24. Kelsey Grammer Holding Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    This would be funnier if I wasn’t so grossed out by its plausibility.

  25. Adrianna Luna Lone Ranger Porn Parody
    Commented on this photo:

    There is no way that guy is straight.

  26. Joe Jonas Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler Bike Ride
    Commented on this photo:

    Cycling on the sidewalk? Either rebellious or too scared to cycle on road.

  27. Kelsey Grammer Holding Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    At least the wee girl took her looks from her mother.

  28. Prince Charles
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    You had me at “Clown Porn.”

  29. John Travolta Dancing With Shirtless Brazilian Men
    Marco
    Commented on this photo:

    I can shove this up my ass…

  30. Ryan Seacrest Mystery Brunette Club 55
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny!

  31. Maria Shriver
    Commented on this photo:

    That t-shirt is so hideous

  32. Katherine Heigl Bikini Instagram
    Gingerail
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she leaning into him, or is he leaning away from her?

  33. Katherine Heigl Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Well put JimJam.

  34. Ryan Seacrest Mystery Brunette Club 55
    Commented on this photo:

    Best explanation on what is happening in that photo,

  35. Katie Price Cleavage Giant Lip Costume Kissable Fragrance Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Pete Burns PSA leaves audiences confused.

  36. Kelly Brook Eating Popsicle Taking Stock Set
    Commented on this photo:

    …i don’t get it.

  37. Rob Kardashian Fat
    Commented on this photo:

    That was a good one, but there’s another comment on the same picture that said “It looks like there’s a face trying to come through.”
    I laughed on and off for a good ten minutes XD

  38. John Travolta Dancing With Shirtless Brazilian Men
    Commented on this photo:

    haha wang chung

  39. John Travolta Dancing With Shirtless Brazilian Men
    Helena Handbasket
    Commented on this photo:

    Brazilian men are so hot. JT is a boner killer.

  40. Kelsey Grammer Holding Baby
    Helena Handbasket
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, the resemblance is simply astonishing.

  41. Joe Jonas Girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler Bike Ride
    Commented on this photo:

    That was great.

  42. Kelsey Grammer Holding Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  43. Ryan Seacrest Mystery Brunette Club 55
    Commented on this photo:

    That was brilliant.

  44. Kaley Cuoco Henry Cavill
    Commented on this photo:

    10 days is all you get Kaley.

    • anonymous

      Hell I don’t even think it as ten days. I think it was just the 4th of July weekend. Then Fit as Hell realized he was dating Drunk as Fuck.

  45. Coco
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her.

  46. Prince Charles
    Commented on this photo:

    Gilberator is a fucking brilliant wordsmith. I salute you, sir.

  47. Courtney Stodden Cleavage New Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re a bunch of slackers.

  48. Kelly Brook Eating Popsicle Taking Stock Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Suck on it, baby.

  49. Rob Kardashian Fat
    rubyskye
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that kim k?

  50. Katherine Heigl Bikini Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell from this picture that when they first met they disliked each other intensely, but after being forced to spend time together they realized the other had a quirky charm.

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