The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.17

May 25th, 2013 // 64 Comments

Welcome to the Memorial Day Weekend edition of The Most Important People on The Internet which, again, is probably one the best assortments we’ve had in a while, so I’m going to get right out of its way and return to the couch our troops so bravely fought and died for me to lay on.

*salutes*

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Jennifer Lopez Huge Butt Casper Smart Billboard Music Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a dress best worn by the long and willowy, which she ain’t.

  2. David Beckham Tossed Up By Teammates Final Match Before Retirement
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice shot.
    Retirement from glorious sports career = divorce within 5?

  3. Carmen Ortega Bikini Stomach Stretch Marks
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is one of the reasons beer was invented.

  4. Big Ang Breasts Felt Up By Bikini Chick Miami Monkey Bar Opening
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes love is just that simple.

  5. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant Weight Gain
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s in the purse?

  6. Farrah Abraham Posing With Fan
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite it’s grotesqueness this was extraordinarily funny.

  7. Bill Clinton Wrinkled Pants Laureate Summit On Youth And Jobs In Europe
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody really talks about the scourge of static cling.

  8. Peter Dinklage Moustache Crocs X-Men Days Of Future Past Set
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    A LANNISTER DOES NOT WEAR CROCS!

  9. Blac Chyna Enormous Ass Spandex Pants Subway
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  10. Keanu Reeves Fat Jowls Messy Hair Man Of Tai Chi Photocall Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    nice. I just watched Point Break and it’s kind of disturbing to see him like this

  11. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    Erica
    Commented on this photo:

    Please, try to fix the caption section.

  12. Keanu Reeves Fat Jowls Messy Hair Man Of Tai Chi Photocall Cannes
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    …or eat another bloated script.

  13. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not much of a competition when everybody gets a trophy.

  14. Big Ang Breasts Felt Up By Bikini Chick Miami Monkey Bar Opening
    DirtyFighter
    Commented on this photo:

    What. The fuck. Is that?

  15. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s way too old to be dressed like this and her performance pretty much looks like what it is – a mid-forties chick that can’t quite keep up. Put on some pants and take your geritol granny, you’re not fooling anyone.

  16. Pugiron

    So has J-Ho never seen a mirror?

  17. David Beckham Tossed Up By Teammates Final Match Before Retirement
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s hoping to land buttfirst on a pile of dicks.

  18. Blac Chyna Enormous Ass Spandex Pants Subway
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok seriously? If she paid for that thing she should be comitted. If she didn’t, she should still be comitted, for wearing spandex.

  19. Big Ang Breasts Felt Up By Bikini Chick Miami Monkey Bar Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    All she needs is some neck bolts to complete the look…

  20. Keanu Reeves Fat Jowls Messy Hair Man Of Tai Chi Photocall Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, it looks like the role of Neo is now being played by Paz de la Huerta. They both have that same just-stung-by-a-bee-and-they’re-allergic look to them.

  21. Keanu Reeves Fat Jowls Messy Hair Man Of Tai Chi Photocall Cannes
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    Down Syndrome*

    If you’re gonna make a retard joke, don’t be retarded.

    • Guy

      Down syndrome (DS) or Down’s syndrome, also known as trisomy 21, is a genetic disorder caused by the presence of all or part of a third copy of chromosome 21.

      Grammar/Spelling Police Fail.

  22. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    She can dance, but her voice is awful. I guess with such a talent gap, one must employ costumes and gimmicks.

  23. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards
    Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Teletubby Power Rangers.

  24. Jose Canseco Rape Allegations Twitter
    Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Seems like the type of guy that walks around with that bat, just so people can ask him “Aren’t you that old baseball player that took Roids?”

  25. Bill Clinton Wrinkled Pants Laureate Summit On Youth And Jobs In Europe
    Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn him – he stole Dwayne Wade’s favorite outfit!

  26. Jennifer Lawrence Leg Slit Dress Cleavage Jimmy P Psychotherapy Of A Plains Indian Premiere Cannes
    Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s HOT.

  27. Paris Hilton
    Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Duke reference +1

  28. Pope Francis
    Champ
    Commented on this photo:

    Eight ball, corner pocket.

  29. Ke$ha Butt Legs Slit Dress Billboard Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    hahaa nice!

  30. Jessica Biel Cleavage Chest Rash Justin Timberlake Inside Llewyn Davis Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    lolz!

  31. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pregnant Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    fucking love y’all ’cause THIS

  32. Paris Hilton
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you Deacon…love the reference.

  33. George Clooney
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha!

  34. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Gross.

  35. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    flaT
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking love the gallery! Pictures change… but comments and tags dont… How many months has it been now? Change picture… f5… change picture…. f5…. close browser and say fuck it.

  36. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    Caroline
    Commented on this photo:

    If that was my mother I’d be just so proud!

  37. Farrah Abraham Posing With Fan
    Caroline
    Commented on this photo:

    Doesnt look like he has much in the pants.

  38. Blac Chyna Enormous Ass Spandex Pants Subway
    thecrazybetty
    Commented on this photo:

    that looks like a tumor or a deformity.

  39. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    Cher X
    Commented on this photo:

    Kill it! Kill it with fire!

  40. Paris Hilton
    Jon Pork
    Commented on this photo:

    Damned kids.. That was Roddy Piper from the movie THEY LIVE. Duke Nuke’m stole it from there.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp_K8prLfso

  41. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you catch me in the movie, The Birdcage?”

  42. Keanu Reeves Fat Jowls Messy Hair Man Of Tai Chi Photocall Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    This one was SO funny. And see ya, @PtC!

  43. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I know, I know… rain gear in case she wets herself falling in love!
    Right? Amiright? And when it happens they airlift her out of there and get her to write songs until she gets over him. Amirite?

  44. Carmen Ortega Bikini Stomach Stretch Marks
    Commented on this photo:

    Too much makeup, too much ass, and almost certainly too much self esteem. WAY too much.

  45. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “quick! find me another guy to fall in love with so I can make another album!”

  46. Pope Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL! I didn’t know the Pope fights super-villains!

  47. Big Ang Breasts Felt Up By Bikini Chick Miami Monkey Bar Opening
    RAWZ
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure…Sloth loves Chunk. Great.
    But my question is, which is which?

  48. Jennifer Lopez Feather Costume Billboard Music Awards
    Cluck Cluck
    Commented on this photo:

    Live, on Broadway, it’s Rock-A-Doodle!

  49. Paris Hilton River Viiperi Make Out Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst. Spray tan. Ever.
    Paris is aging oh so gracefully. Almost unrecognizable.

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