Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you slightly later than usual on this beautiful fall day because I spent the morning pressing leaves together with wax paper with Martha Stewart. Later, we banged inside a hollowed-out gourd then cleaned ourselves with hand-crafted corn husk brooms before sensually pouring chicory all over each other and repeating the whole process. It was a time of sensual beauty and nature until she peed with the bathroom door open and I kicked her the fuck out. Alas, our love was not meant to be.
Based on a true story,
- The Superficial