The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.43

October 20th, 2012 // 79 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you slightly later than usual on this beautiful fall day because I spent the morning pressing leaves together with wax paper with Martha Stewart. Later, we banged inside a hollowed-out gourd then cleaned ourselves with hand-crafted corn husk brooms before sensually pouring chicory all over each other and repeating the whole process. It was a time of sensual beauty and nature until she peed with the bathroom door open and I kicked her the fuck out. Alas, our love was not meant to be.

Based on a true story,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Tyra Banks
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  2. Ethan Suplee
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    Great!

  3. Kevin Smith Comic Con
    Ron
    Commented on this photo:

    the next impression i call, “two dicks touching”

  4. Gwyneth Paltrow Cleavage Gods Love We Deliver Awards
    Pope Benedict
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s funny cuz it’s true!

  5. Sven Golly

    Fish’s bittersweet tale of his doomed romance with Martha Stewart really touched me… here and here and also back here.

  6. Liam Neeson Olivia Wilde
    Commented on this photo:

    Brilliant.

  7. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Crazy Eyes Tattoos
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfection.

  8. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Eyes Hollywood Costume Exhibition V&A Museum
    Sandoucheky
    Commented on this photo:

    Spit all over my monitor on this one

  9. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Eyes Hollywood Costume Exhibition V&A Museum
    eatme
    Commented on this photo:

    ….wow, is this a pee-wee herman movie reference?

  10. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    neo
    Commented on this photo:

    If I were a celebrity, I would never read The Superficial….having said that…LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!

  11. Roger Moore
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    comedy gold

  12. Roger Moore
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Love it !

  13. Pia Toscano Groped By Hello Kitty Mascot
    Fappuccino
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello titty

  14. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Crazy Eyes Tattoos
    mac
    Commented on this photo:

    brilliant!

  15. Martha Stewart Yoga
    HumpinFrog
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh? Some of these “best comments” are not so best.

    • ??? HumpinFrog.

      Mbcl’s comment is actually pretty damn funny. Schwarzenegger likes maids… the sign on the back wall says American Made… He’s a horny Austrian that would jump at the opportunity to see anything “maid” related, with the language barrier making for a mixup…. they’re looking quizzically off to the left at someone off-shot… it all lines up for a very deserving comment win ;-)

  16. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    lixx
    Commented on this photo:

    She got a big ol’ granny crack.

  17. Kevin Smith Comic Con
    lixx
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that what fundies do when demonstrating how gay sex is unnatural?

  18. Katy Perry Cleavage Night Of Too Many Stars: America Comes Together For Autism Programs
    edamame
    Commented on this photo:

    Lopsided.

  19. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    I am 25 years older than Kim and my ass looks better

  20. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    my ass crack is only half that size

  21. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Eyes Hollywood Costume Exhibition V&A Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    40 shades of grey teeth

  22. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Crazy Eyes Tattoos
    Commented on this photo:

    those pupils look completely normal to me

  23. Christina Hendricks Breasts
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she is gross

  24. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    she cracks me up!

  25. Pia Toscano Groped By Hello Kitty Mascot
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, my second time on “The Most Important People”, I’m honored. Eight more and i get a free sub?

  26. Christina Hendricks Breasts
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Frackdamn! What happens when I’m on the “The Most Important People” twice in the same week? Does it make me doubly important? Anyway as for this one, I’m sure it’s a lot funnier in context of the Prince William pic that preceded it in “The Crap We Missed”.

  27. Halle Berry Legs Cellulite Daisy Dukes
    sorry_charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    holy shit…

  28. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Eyes Hollywood Costume Exhibition V&A Museum
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    This really truly made me laugh out loud. Well played.

  29. Prince William
    pinquett
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHA that’s awesome!

  30. Hulk Hogan Lawsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Ouch!

    I still laughed though. We’re all going to hell.

  31. Donny Osmond Hugging Susan Boyle
    Commented on this photo:

    The sad part is, either one of them could be saying that.

  32. Kevin Smith Comic Con
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t dock ‘em if their cut, silly!

  33. Tyra Banks
    Commented on this photo:

    I almost spit Cap’n Crunch all over my work laptop. Nice.

  34. Pia Toscano Groped By Hello Kitty Mascot
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to burn those pants.

  35. Halle Berry Legs Cellulite Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome to Celebrities Without Airbrushing.

  36. Liam Neeson Olivia Wilde
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny because it’s true. Delightfully true.

  37. Roger Moore
    Commented on this photo:

    How come this didn’t make the cut two weeks ago when I wrote the same thing on the same actor, Fish?

  38. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  39. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    The BUTT has A DOUBLE CHIN!

    Doughy arms and bulging backfat mistaken for curves. It’s just 100 pounds of lumpy mashed potatoes smooshed by 40 pound sack.

    What NOT to wear.

  40. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Eyes Hollywood Costume Exhibition V&A Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    I used to scare my little brother with that scene…

  41. Pia Toscano Groped By Hello Kitty Mascot
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    meanwhile, in japan

  42. Gwyneth Paltrow Cleavage Gods Love We Deliver Awards
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    or hers, same diff

  43. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    Carla
    Commented on this photo:

    More apt a comment on a flabby ass has never been made.

  44. Donny Osmond Hugging Susan Boyle
    Carla
    Commented on this photo:

    cant stop LOLing ohmyfuck!

  45. Brooke Shields
    Carla
    Commented on this photo:

    holySHIT did PETA hire a witch doctor to turn her into Steven Tyler?!

  46. Kevin James Fat
    Carla
    Commented on this photo:

    HA!

  47. Tyra Banks
    Carla
    Commented on this photo:

    XD !!!

  48. Kim Kardashian Butt See Through Skirt
    Carolyn
    Commented on this photo:

    Why wear anything at all?

  49. Hulk Hogan Lawsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s Reno attorney, David Houston, on the left. Why does a criminal attorney from Reno represent The Hulk?

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