The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.4

January 7th, 2012 // 100 Comments

After being forced to endure mind-numbing family conversation after mind-numbing family conversation with no discernible point or end in sight and learning that public schools are nothing but goddamn germ factories that turn your children into Typhoid Marys – *hacks 3/4ths of lung into wastebasket, wonders when Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dustin Hoffman are going to find that monkey* – welcome to the triumphantly dick-punching return of The Most Important People on the Internet featuring a surprisingly robust selection for only four days worth of posts. Clearly, Santa brought you all piss and vinegar for Christmas like I asked, so sorry about that Kindle you wanted. Life’s a cockhole.

Let’s try and do this every weekend, okay? I’ll bring fondue,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Clarence Beeks

    That beak is out of control. I can’t believe she paid for it.

  2. LeAnn Rimes Bikini Eating
    Commented on this photo:

    bahaha

  3. The Situation Karate Kick
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    lol

  4. Shakira Bikini
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    hahaha

  5. Her boobs are lopsided. Just sayin’.

  6. Lindsay Lohan Maxim
    butt
    Commented on this photo:

    best

  7. Kimora Lee Simmons Bikini
    Coyote
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually Plastic is not digestible.

  8. Kathleen Turner
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    Gravy’s back!!!!!
    very nice.

  9. The Situation Karate Kick
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHAHA

  10. Kathleen Turner
    Commented on this photo:

    That just made my whole fuckin’ morning. Nice one Gravy.

  11. all of America

    Fish, can we please dispense with showing this amateur porn actress for the rest of the year?

  12. Outspoken

    Her boys and girls is a lady with very nice BOOBS!!!

  13. Pippa Middleton
    sprub
    Commented on this photo:

    Good one!

  14. Aubrey O'Day Cleavage
    The joaker
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d read it

  15. LeAnn Rimes Bikini Eating
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    +100

  16. The Situation Karate Kick
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Excellent, Mr. McPoop, if that is your real name.

  17. Shakira Bikini
    Isa
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahahahahahhahahaha

  18. Otiss Spunkmayer

    Herpes Hilton !!!

  19. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Absolutely brilliant.

  20. Shakira Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I was thinking of making an Instagram comment myself, but Jill did it better than I would have, anyway.

  21. Kate Gosselin
    Louisa
    Commented on this photo:

    There is nothing remotely likeable about this woman. We got her off of tv, please leave her off of the internet too so she can disappear into her dismal obscurity.

  22. Kimora Lee Simmons Bikini
    TheLilYellowOne
    Commented on this photo:

    Those tits are far too saggy to be plastic. Just sayin.

  23. Kathleen Turner
    Jennifer
    Commented on this photo:

    That was the second funniest thing I’ve read on this site.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Maxim
    jeffiner
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m so sick of that pose.

    • You need to work on your patience. That’s a very nice pose. It suggests that the model is ready to have someone enter her vaginally. Isn’t that really the point of all of this stuff?

  25. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow she’s looking hot!!!!!!

  26. American National Socialist Party

    HILTON (points to an actor [Vin Diesel] in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?

    How black does a guy have to be?

    HILTON: One percent is enough for me

  27. Simon Cowell Man Boobs Life Vest Jetski
    disillusionisreal
    Commented on this photo:

    That tit looks like it’s experiencing the ‘let down’ response to a baby’s cry….can’t look away……..ahhhhhh…my eyes!!!!!!!

  28. Casey Anthony Video Diary
    disillusionisreal
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got a vagina under her arm…..

  29. Sinead O'Connor
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Never seen such unimpressed looking musicians

  30. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Bloody brilliant

  31. Grand Dragon

    Her boobs and her eyes are two different sizes, but the big eye is on the same side as the small boob so it balances it out.

  32. Antonio Banderas Ewan McGregor
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    I won The Fist of Fury contest six times in the nineties!

  33. Nicole

    Wonky McValtrex

  34. Sinead O'Connor
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    come n get it boys!
    this brown aint gettin any easier!

  35. Sinead O'Connor
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    the brown noise anyone?

  36. Sinead O'Connor
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    ……okay then.

  37. Kimora Lee Simmons Bikini
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    Well… It was a short week.

  38. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez
    ali
    Commented on this photo:

    lol!

  39. Lindsay Lohan Maxim
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    smarty pants

  40. Pippa Middleton
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    LO VE IT. Prolly smells different, too.

  41. LeAnn Rimes Bikini Eating
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    genius.

  42. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    L O V E

  43. Kathleen Turner
    Mwaddams
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, I feel odd thinking about how I felt the first time I saw Body Heat, considering if she’s in the remake it will be about rendering bacon.

  44. Aubrey O'Day Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I would like to thank God Almighty for giving everybody so much and me SO little!

  45. Shakira Bikini
    Trek Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, there’s fabric between the paprazzi and Shakira. Did anyone else notice that? I guess everyone was too mesmerized by her rear-end to notice it.

  46. John Malkovich
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my god that was awesome. Busted my tummy muscles.

  47. Kate Gosselin
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    I still come back to the thought that that can’t possibly be a job! I wonder what they really make her do? She’s certainly a classy addition to their company.

  48. The Situation Karate Kick
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    And my parents thoughts that it was a curse to be born with both male and female genitalia. Take that!

  49. Lindsay Lohan Maxim
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    I usually send Maxim to soldiers in Afghanistan but I will skip this issue (don’t worry, I’ll send ‘em the latest HOOTERS instead) – they have it bad enough already without inflicting that tired wretch on them

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