The Most Important People on The Internet:
After being forced to endure mind-numbing family conversation after mind-numbing family conversation with no discernible point or end in sight and learning that public schools are nothing but goddamn germ factories that turn your children into Typhoid Marys – *hacks 3/4ths of lung into wastebasket, wonders when Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dustin Hoffman are going to find that monkey* – welcome to the triumphantly dick-punching return of The Most Important People on the Internet featuring a surprisingly robust selection for only four days worth of posts. Clearly, Santa brought you all piss and vinegar for Christmas like I asked, so sorry about that Kindle you wanted. Life’s a cockhole.
Let’s try and do this every weekend, okay? I’ll bring fondue,
– The Superficial
Photo: Pacific Coast News