The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.23

June 2nd, 2012 // 58 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on the Internet where, if you’ll indulge me for a minute, I want to respond to commenter Eric on last week’s edition:

I’d like to know how comments get picked for Most Important People. Some really smart, funny comments never make it and some really dumb ones do. Some with a high number of thumbs ups don’t make it either. What’s the secret?

This is really a great question because the answer sheds a light on how hard it is to write comedy from the comfort of my home, mostly while not even changing out of pajama pants until the twilight hours. It’s terrible, I know. Anyway, the comments that make it are the ones that at the moment I read them manage to crack through my hard cynical shell and bring some level of titter to my mouth. Of course, this is entirely dependent on my mood – much like when you read the site – because comedy is extremely subjective which is why I have several ulcers that make me Photo Boy ritualistically commit murders in a secluded cabin based on books of The Bible.

I He sees your sloth,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. The Rock Baseball Bat Midget
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    HA !
    Well done.

  2. Jack Ketch

    Pull up your goddamned pants.

  3. George Hamilton Girlfriend Barbara Sturm Butt Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, this one did make me LOL.

  4. Coco Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugliest. Implants. Ever.

  5. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, these age progression pics of the Olsen twins has not been very kind to them.

  6. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    disillusionisreal
    Commented on this photo:

    She’d have no problem finding a vein, that’s for sure….

  7. Mark Wahlberg Crotch Grab Pain And Gain
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    the constant crotch grabbing must make it challenging to drive

  8. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha

  9. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    FTW

  10. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Commented on this photo:

    Well done, dear!

  11. The Rock Baseball Bat Midget
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe the best comment ever.

  12. The Rock Baseball Bat Midget
    Commented on this photo:

    Pop that into the year end best of fo’ sure…

  13. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Here we see a rare glimpse of the mating rituals of the White Breasted English Woodpecker.

  14. zine11900

    He is a SLIM BAG.

  15. El Jefe

    I agree with Eric, how the comments are picked is total crap. How the fuck can you have people that have 12 thumbs up comments and unanimous praise from people and then it never gets picked? Half of the picked ones are lame and then even though there are hundreds of photos from the entire week, somehow there are multiple picks based on the same photo or photo sets including today.

    If you are going to have a comment system and a thumbs up system than use it, otherwise why the fuck do you have it for?

    • BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

      So it has nothing to do with the numbers in the Pennsylvania State Lottery? Bang goes another theory.

  16. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    Commented on this photo:

    OK that’s a picture that says – You should retire gracefully.
    At least Madonna can afford it.

    LoveMiamiBlog

  17. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    i’d like to see you look so good when U are 10,000 years old

  18. Joe Manganiello Scarf Vest True Blood Premiere
    JULIETIN
    Commented on this photo:

    That man is gorgeous!

  19. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    They just look so happy together! Awe!

  20. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    comedy gold

  21. The Rock Baseball Bat Midget
    AWOL
    Commented on this photo:

    Awesome, totally awesome…

  22. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she is fucking gross – honey it is WAY past time to pass the overrated-ho baton

  23. Mary-Kate Ashley Olsen
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    jesus they are so fucking creepy

  24. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Sal_two_dicks
    Commented on this photo:

    OH GOD THERE’S TWO OF THEM!!!! KILL THEM WITH FIRE!!!!!

  25. Ashton Kutcher
    simplyjack
    Commented on this photo:

    I hear dead people…no! wait, that’s just the familiar sound of my near-dead career

  26. John Malkovich
    simplyjack
    Commented on this photo:

    Mlakovich on the set of RainMan II

  27. Ashton Kutcher
    Commented on this photo:

    “Charlie Sheen’s voice…it’s in my head!”

  28. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Commented on this photo:

    The black haired one is making the most of years of heroin by wanking the air.

  29. Coco Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Have you seen that circus act where the guy places his dick between her breasts and rocks back and forth?
    Porn Hub De Soleil.

  30. Ashton Kutcher
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you still hear Charlie Sheen screaming at you to stop tanking his show?

  31. Joe Manganiello Scarf Vest True Blood Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Victoria Beckham’s horse toothed clone stands back and waits to pounce on such trend setting douchebaggery.
    I forgive him cause he’s hot.

  32. Mary-Kate Ashley Olsen
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when everyone was happy when they turned 18??
    The patient paedophiles now know to be careful what they wish for.

  33. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    HOLY SHIT.

  34. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Commented on this photo:

    Kimmy, didn’t I say something last week about how I would pick one of your comments every time in the hopes that it would get me laid? I wonder if Fish picked up on that strategy.

    Seriously, good for you, sweetie.

  35. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    SPY vs SPY

  36. George Hamilton Girlfriend Barbara Sturm Butt Bikini
    Pierce Bronzetan
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes Cock Dr, me too :-) One of those rare comments that are just so stupidly clever you have to laugh out loud.

  37. Philip Seymour Hoffman Basketball Bird
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t get it?

  38. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    Mangina
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL

  39. Ashton Kutcher
    Jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    Ashton Kutcher is so fucking beautiful!!!

  40. Mary-Kate Ashley Olsen
    Commented on this photo:

    SCOLIOSIS at 25. This is what eating disorders will do to you kids.
    -_-

  41. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    instahater
    Commented on this photo:

    I was lucky enough to miss this on the first pass. Seriously? If anyone who wasn’t famous dressed like this at her age, they would be institutionalized for senility. She hasn’t even been marginally successful in a disney pop star’s entire lifetime I bet. Someone just put her down, like Old Yeller.

  42. John Malkovich
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    he has the body of a dumpy 33-year-old woman named Francine.

  43. Philip Seymour Hoffman Basketball Bird
    Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope you bitches brought your A game! Let it Rain!! White chocolate!

  44. Joe Manganiello Scarf Vest True Blood Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    i actually laughed out loud with that one! hahahahahahha

  45. Ronnie Wood Rod Stewart
    Rapsutin's Evil Twin
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is Liza Minnelli?

  46. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    Jen
    Commented on this photo:

    More excited than I should be =)

  47. Madonna Bra Veiny Muscular Arms
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what you say. Hillary Rodham Clinton is still smoking hot!

  48. The Rock Baseball Bat Midget
    electricgrl
    Commented on this photo:

    That is hilarious. The only one where I’ve actually laughed out loud!

  49. Ashton Kutcher
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the best lines I read in a while. Good job JC.

  50. The Rock Baseball Bat Midget
    Allion
    Commented on this photo:

    Really cool)))))

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