The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.22

May 26th, 2012 // 89 Comments

Welcome to another infected exciting installment of The Most Important People on the Internet brought to you by the letters, S, T and D and featuring an almost gynecological glimpse into Paris Hilton‘s death-hole that you get to stare at until we get back on Tuesday. Think of it as our way of saying thanks for coming up with funny shit to populate this post each week. (We always give the best gifts, I know.)

Now would be a good time to start buying hand sanitizer in bulk,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Matthew McConaughey Nicole Kidman Zac Efron The Paperboy Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Banner week for you, Tommy, my boy. Well done!

  2. Johnny Depp
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha ha, nice one! A well-deserving winner here.

  3. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Not caring for fur myself I would have gone with a hot pink velvet trim.
    The level of douchery displayed here is quite remarkable.

  4. Elizabeth Hurley Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a boring dress, but her tits always look good.

  5. Rose McGowan Cleavage Cannes
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Er… the actual comment was:

    “Which leads us to one of lifes great unsolved riddles: If Rose McGowan and Nicole Kidman were in a room at the same time, on who’s forehead would you place the fridge magnet?”

    The trailing preposition is excusable, but “refrigerador” ?

    • In Fish or Photo Boy’s defense, they did clean up the “who’s” into the proper “whose.” Which is sorta ironic, because they’ve been screwing those up a lot lately.

      • Oz Matters

        Fair dinkum. The one time I make this list, and instead of inducing guffaws, its creating lessons in grammar!

  6. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    Joaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that his Sith apprentice behind him?

  7. Rose McGowan Cleavage Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I suck at rolling the R in “refrigerador”.

  8. Dick Hell

    Have a nice holiday Fish and PB and for the love of god, TRY not to put anything larger than your fist in there…

  9. Paris Hilton
    achilles wrath
    Commented on this photo:

    Money doesn’t bring class or culture lol

  10. Matthew McConaughey Nicole Kidman Zac Efron The Paperboy Cannes
    You know
    Commented on this photo:

    Same thing with jailbait, you get older and they all stay the same age.

  11. Paris Hilton
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    if her family wasn’t the Hilton’s no would care about this fugly bitch.

  12. Bill Paxton Sunglasses Vest
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    AWESOME!!!

  13. Johnny Depp
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Still laughing out load. Thanks!!

  14. Elizabeth Hurley Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    hot as hell for over 20 years…britney was hot for what? 5? Jessica Simpson for about 3 months….

  15. Johnny Depp
    Commented on this photo:

    Epic comment. Put that in the year end finalists.

  16. Elizabeth Hurley Cleavage
    tod
    Commented on this photo:

    nice

  17. Cuba Gooding Jr. Vest Sweater Tied Around Waist
    Commented on this photo:

    God DAMN, Tommy Boy, props to you! That’s three so far and I haven’t even got to the end yet!

  18. Paris Hilton
    Eric
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to know how comments get picked for Most Important People. Some really smart, funny comments never make it and some really dumb ones do. Some witha high number of thumbs up’s don’t make it either. What’s the secret?

  19. Elizabeth Berkley Nipples Pregnant Belly See Through Shirt
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she is still gross

  20. Rose McGowan Cleavage Cannes
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she sees how badly she has fucked up her face (and those of you who believe her story that a car accident made her look like the Joker need to pull your heads out)

    • JK

      Be careful for the last thing you’ll hear is that famous question: Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

  21. Bill Paxton Sunglasses Vest
    Commented on this photo:

    Worthy

  22. Rose McGowan Cleavage Cannes
    EmmaWatson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    @Mama Pinkus. she don’t care. as the only saying goes any publicity is good publicity.

  23. Nick Stahl Wife
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    So this dude didn’t die? Damn.

  24. Guy Pearce Bad Hair Day Lawless Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s something about Guy

  25. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    Radadoon
    Commented on this photo:

    That coat looks like something King Bruce the Gay III would wear back in Middle Earth.

    • Bouncy Castle, London, UK

      I’m betting King Bruce the Gays I and II were’t as gay as they made out to be, if there’s a III.

  26. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    its like so duchey its almost cool looking.
    idk man. maybe i’m a duche now. where is my mind going…

  27. Bill Paxton Sunglasses Vest
    Sad Panda
    Commented on this photo:

    That is great.

  28. Paris Hilton
    logan
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the short of it? She is an ass.

  29. Andy Cohen John Mayer
    floyd
    Commented on this photo:

    He also does a Mick Jagger dance.

  30. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    floyd
    Commented on this photo:

    jew pimp

  31. Cuba Gooding Jr. Vest Sweater Tied Around Waist
    swalton
    Commented on this photo:

    Unnatural Po-lice

  32. Paris Hilton
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    whens she gunna shove a pineapple up there?

  33. Victoria Silvstedt Cleavage Cannes
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    gross. fake tan and leather damaged skin.

  34. Die already...

    Nice pic of paris “I’m a slut” hilton making a jerk of herself. I guess she figured that no one is paying attention to her anymore, so she has to spread her legs to get attention. I particulary like the 2 bodyguards next to her, to guarantee no one can stop her from defiling a kids ride. What a stupid whore…

  35. Elizabeth Berkley Nipples Pregnant Belly See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, I made it! You like me! You really like me!

  36. Rose McGowan Cleavage Cannes
    zil
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks terrifying.

  37. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    Commented on this photo:

    Desperate ploys for attention don’t get much more blatant than this.

    Whoever said any publicity is good publicity needs their corpse slapped.

  38. Jennifer Love Hewitt Hat Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    The pants, omg the pants!

  39. Guy Pearce Bad Hair Day Lawless Premiere
    maruli
    Commented on this photo:

    Alton Brown is looking pretty good these days.

  40. Paris Hilton
    Interred Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Batista from WWE was desperate for a bodyguard gig….

  41. Gwen Stefani Butt Tight Red Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Legs still insane, though.

  42. Paris Hilton
    Sunzi
    Commented on this photo:

    I have seen the God of Death, and I know it’s name

  43. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    Radadoon
    Commented on this photo:

    We can pray all those dead mink will haunt his every minute of slumber.

  44. Cuba Gooding Jr. Vest Sweater Tied Around Waist
    Radadoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Bloodshot eyes, illegal smile time for Cuba….

  45. Paris Hilton
    Olga
    Commented on this photo:

    What is going on with her right leg? It looks diseased.

  46. Paris Hilton
    Kristen Stewart, The
    Commented on this photo:

    At least I’m always thinking of what I’m looking at when I see her pictures. I’m looking at a rich and blonde girl who’s often in indecent exposure and thinking, “Damn, this blonde little slut pups is laughing her way to bank!”.
    Alternatively, when I look at a picture of Moo Kardashian, I’m always thinking of a dumptruck, filled with bags of rotten food and cottage cheese. I don’t care how much dough that hoe has!

  47. Nick Stahl Wife
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    That girl’s nose looks like a big toe. Damn that’s broad across the beam.

  48. Paris Hilton
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    I smell clam chowder…

  49. Scott Disick Fur Coat Rob Kardashian Jonathan Cheban
    carrie
    Commented on this photo:

    does anyone else see the foot in the high heel in between his feet? either kourtney is hidden behind this monstrosity, or scott has been taking feeding lessons from khloe.

    • Grand Poobah

      maybe he is taking his third leg out for a stroll :)

    • whatsmynameagain

      It’s probably Kourtney. You can see black hair behind him and also her brother behind her. Not that it matters, but can you blame her for hiding?

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