‘The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug’ Has A Trailer

Here’s the first trailer for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug which looks like it’ll be exactly like The Hobbit right down to the epic battle scenes, gorgeous landscapes and expanded Tolkien lore all punctuated with random slapstick that kills the whole movie dead. So if you really want to sell me on this one, I need to hear the words, “No giant eagles.” Although, I’ll also accept, “Evangeline Lilly will use your penis as a bow,” which I probably should’ve said first, so forget the eagles. Put them in every scene. Have them fight the dragon.

[Quick Review of The Hobbit: Hands down the most beautiful Blu-ray I’ve ever looked at. (On a Plasma.) If you liked the first Lord of The Rings, it’s worth a watch right up until the characters enter the Goblin Kingdom and then the whole thing becomes a cartoon shit-show before Peter Jackson pisses in your face to thank you for the three hours you just spent. – SW]