The Hamptons Hate The Kardashians

Despite ratings for Keeping Up With The Kardashians tanking, somehow Kourtney and Khloe scored another spinoff that’s still not called “Midget Tits and The Squatch,” because God is dead. However, it is set in the Hamptons where apparently they’ll be shot from helicopters by the top one percent who know they’ll never see the inside of a jail in this country, so now I’m sold on that setup. You win, capitalism. Page Six reports:

Asked if he would boycott the Driver’s Seat [for renting space to the Kardashians], advertising mogul Jerry Della Femina, who sold his oceanfront East Hampton house last year, told me, “Forget about the Driver’s Seat. People are going to avoid Southampton! [Irma] should be brought up on charges.”
Della Famina, who has a new house in Bridgehampton, added: “I view [the Kardashian situation] like people viewed the plague in the Middle Age. I just want to survive it.” ….
“People are talking like it’s Armageddon,” Steven Gaines, author of “Philistines at the Hedgerow,” told me.

Ah, good old rich people complaining about other rich people lowering the property value of their summer homes. Adam Carolla was right: They truly are our betters because here I was bitching about this: *turns on tap water, watches it catch on fire* Talk about a non-issue, right? I’m embarrassed.

Photos: Splash News