The Hamptons Hate The Kardashians

June 6th, 2014 // 24 Comments
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Despite ratings for Keeping Up With The Kardashians tanking, somehow Kourtney and Khloe scored another spinoff that’s still not called “Midget Tits and The Squatch,” because God is dead. However, it is set in the Hamptons where apparently they’ll be shot from helicopters by the top one percent who know they’ll never see the inside of a jail in this country, so now I’m sold on that setup. You win, capitalism. Page Six reports:

Asked if he would boycott the Driver’s Seat [for renting space to the Kardashians], advertising mogul Jerry Della Femina, who sold his oceanfront East Hampton house last year, told me, “Forget about the Driver’s Seat. People are going to avoid Southampton! [Irma] should be brought up on charges.”
Della Famina, who has a new house in Bridgehampton, added: “I view [the Kardashian situation] like people viewed the plague in the Middle Age. I just want to survive it.” ….
“People are talking like it’s Armageddon,” Steven Gaines, author of “Philistines at the Hedgerow,” told me.

Ah, good old rich people complaining about other rich people lowering the property value of their summer homes. Adam Carolla was right: They truly are our betters because here I was bitching about this: *turns on tap water, watches it catch on fire* Talk about a non-issue, right? I’m embarrassed.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Fuck Bieber

    The Hamptons hate the Kardashians?

    So they’re just like the rest of the world, which has been hating them far, far longer..

  2. Kim Kardashian Butt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    The Hamptons is a land of pretentious douche bags. Oh my God, I might have to take Kim’s side on this one.

  3. Short Round

    They don’t want them there? Aren’t these the same people who own the media and force the Kardashians on us making millions in the process? It’s as if a winemaker wouldn’t want to live in a vineyard.

  4. Wolfy

    Are rich people better than poor people? Depends what you mean. Personality-wise, no better or worse. Driven? Absolutely (if you take out the trust fund babies and the single moms).

  5. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    No, Fish, God is not dead. However, after having had to deal with us for so long, there’s a good chance God has developed a major drinking problem. It would explain a lot of things, like the existence of most of the people you write about.

  6. Mitch

    Holy shit, leave the politics out of this. If you want to bitch about the “1%” don’t leave out George Soros, John Kerry, The Clintons, Algore, Michael Moore and the rest of those pricks who are mysteriously left out of the equation. Funny how if you’re a liberal and filthy rich you somehow get a pass.

    • Fuck off, Mitch. NO1CURR.

      • Mitch

        Typical liberal response when faced with the facts they don’t like to admit are true.

        George Soros is as big of a 1% co*ksucker as the rest of them. The sooner you pull your head out of your a** and admit it you will feel that chip on your shoulder melt away.

        The same goes for the scumbag politicians (that’s all of them) from both parties. They should all rot in hell.

      • No. No one gives a shit. We’re here to look at titties and make fun of their owners. Go preach your shit to the dueling banjos crowd.

  7. Henry

    Maybe we could put Kim & Co. under Fish’s tap water. If we tell her it’s really back pee she’ll jump right in.

  8. Thank you USA for manufacturing and keep giving millions to the Kardashians

  9. Twingal

    I kind of want to shot myself. I think Kim is wearing a Target shirt (or one very similar to the one at Target) and I’m currently wearing the exact same shirt.

  10. cc

    Forget about the Driver’s Seat. People are going to avoid Southampton!

    Damn right. I was just on the phone cancelling the limousine to pick me up at the airport.

  11. Rich people. They’re just like us.

  12. Robb7

    Don’t give a crap about these people or the people in the Hamptons, but why does this non-story require 12 photos of that fucked up cow!

  13. D-chi

    Their rich, white tears give me nourishment.

  14. Linda

    Holy crap, this is a tough one. One the one hand, I love the idea of the Kardashians getting shut out of anything. On the other hand, these pretentious assholes acting like they are somehow less detestable than the Kardashians is pathetic.

  15. These people are rich enough and powerful enough to get away with a real life Surviving the Game, the movie where the rich people hunted Ice-T like an animal. Make it happen with the Kardashians please.

  16. Huh?!?

    Only the uber moneyed douchiness of the Hamptons could leave me siding with Porn’s first family

  17. Mama Pinkus

    OK so Ms. Kardashian’s only claims to fame and fortune are big ass, a sex tape and a supreme penchant for self-whoring, but who the fuck do those snooty Hamptom folk think they are? This is a case of everyone deserving each other.

  18. mx3

    i think the hamptons ppl dont like/want her living there cause the papparazzi circus. and/or them like, shutting down places or roads or whatever if theyre filming something. i wouldnt like it if kim k moved into my neighbourhood for the same reason. it just brings in baggage and bullshit

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