The Gosselins Angered Cher

November 18th, 2010 // 27 Comments

See? You see that anger? — Okay, maybe her face doesn’t move. But it’s palpable, my friend. Palpable.

In probably the most random news item I’ve read in the past five minutes, Cher was apparently a die-hard Jon and Kate Plus 8 fan who was outraged to see its stars became the vindictive sweatshop owners a brood of Asian children should’ve tipped probably tipped us off about. (Stereotypes: 3. Tolerance: 0) Us Magazine reports:

“A long time ago I used to watch this very sweet reality show called Jon and Kate Plus 8,” she admits coyly of the bygone TLC hit. “I thought it was sweet. I liked the babies.”
The Oscar winner’s fandom soured when Jon and Kate Gosselin’s crumbling marriage made headlines. “I leave the country for six months, I come back and the whole thing has just blown up in everyone’s face!” Cher complains.
“I just thought, this is not what I signed up for.”

Cher then goes own to criticize Snooki which is clearly a direct order to the Gay Mafia to make all of reality TV sleep with the fishy-fish. No, really, I’m serious. Do you dare defy the Godfather? For it is written, “She is immortal and will watch your children and your children’s children die. Shit, this whole post is *about* her watching children. DO HER BIDDING!

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Cher, that was so two years ago.

    She probably just realized that Balloon Boy was a hoax.

    • Cher, you are so beautiful. You have entertained us through the decades first with your angelic singing and then blessed us with your gifts of film. You are a shining star.

      Keep on doing exactly what you’re doing because you are perfect, my little ladybug. By the way are you still with Sonny? I’m teasing. You are incredible.

  2. McFeely Smackup

    Whoa…when did Cher turn into a Russian dock worker?

  3. Doc Schweintrudel

    Mommy, can I have a pony for Christmas?

  4. GravyLeg

    OMG… Put away the “knee draggers” Grandma…

  5. Cher
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Cher hung out with Dolly Parton!

  6. Ray Sist

    Stretched, stuffed and tucked. Still pretty hot!

  7. Fuck cher for her million plastic surgeries and for autotune. I blame her for heidi and for kedollarha

  8. “Gay Mafia”

    More hate speech from the Fish. It’s called the Homosexual Mafia, loser.

  9. Cher
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the best lips on the planet.

  10. Cher
    Nelson
    Commented on this photo:

    Did x-tina all of a sudden become snookie?

  11. Deacon Jones

    Plastic D’ja?

  12. See Alice

    Cher looks good for 97 . Cher looks embalmed

  13. sobrietyisacrutch

    This coming from a woman whose daughter became a dude. I’m sure she didn’t sign up for THAT!

  14. Go on Cher, curse those fuckers out.

  15. How weird

    She’s prettier now then she was when she was younger and with Sonny.

  16. RasputinsLiver

    *

    Goddamn.

    Not only does she look fuckin’ horrible now…

    ….she’s really one dumbass shallow bitch.

    *

  17. i was thinking aside from the hideous face, the body wasn’t looking to bad, until i got to pics with christina…sign me up for some of that old ass pussy!

  18. wim

    pst: I LIKE ‘NAUGHTY’WOMEN, folks!!

  19. pessimism

    I want to see an ultimate showdown, a battle of undead souls. Pit Cher and Madonna against each other to see who possesses greater mastery of the dark arts.

  20. Cher would win that battle. She’s been around twice or three times as long as Madge.

    I think she’s a Vampire Demon myself. Or maybe she’s like Mr Burns. Has her head in a jar and transplants it onto a fresh cadaver every so often.

  21. Lalique

    The Gosselin divorce mess isn’t what YOU signed up for, Cher? Oh, I’m so sorry, Cher! Of course, how could I be so insensitive as to forget that the Gosselin drama was all about YOU? My most sincere apologies, Cher.
    P.S.: I imagine the divorce drama isn’t what the Gosselin children signed up for, either, but that doesn’t matter – it’s all about Cher, people!!!

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