Of Course ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Is A Liberal Plot To Make Mitt Romney Look Bad. Duh.
[Full Disclosure: Photo Boy and I did not make this pic, so if you're the creator, hit us up and we'll give you props because it's fucking awesome.]
[Update: Credit added. Huge thanks to Aramis at Barkers & Rubes.]
Over the past week or so, I’ve seen rumblings in the comments about it being a suspicious coincidence that the villain in the The Dark Knight Rises is called Bane at the same time Barack Obama is nailing Mitt Romney for his dealings with Bain Capital because everyone knows Hollywood is one big liberal conspiracy that wants to turn us all into Prius-driving, gay Jews. Of course, I didn’t actually expect anyone to be stupid enough to run with this theory considering Christopher Nolan and his brother started writing the film in 2008 when no one had any fucking clue who the 2012 Republican candidate for president would be, not to mention the character Bane was created in 1993. To even suggest a conspiracy this vast was even remotely possible would require either a. liberals to be psychic which we are, but you’re not supposed to know that (Don’t get on that bus.) and/or b. Barack Obama harnessing the power of time travel. You’d have to be an idiot to even entertain the possibility, so naturally Rush Limbaugh was all over it like Mexican Viagra shaped like a cigar. Via Deus Ex Malcontent:
“Have you heard, this new movie, the Batman movie — what is it, the Dark Knight Lights Up or something? Whatever the name of it is. That’s right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there’s now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane? … Anyway, so this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there’s now discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful, and whether or not it will influence voters. It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd. And they’re going to hear ‘Bane’ in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain.
If for one brief second, you heard this epic shit of horses fall out of Rush Limbaugh’s mouth and went, “Hmm. Maybe…” please take one of the 57 guns you bought because you thought Barack Obama was going to use his Kenya magic to erase the second amendment and watch what happens when you put it in the microwave. I heard it makes nearby minorities explode into gunpowder that you can later collect in a sack, but only a macho, strapping American like yourself has the balls to press your face up against the glass and find out. I’m just a pansy liberal, so I’d probably screw it all up trying to raise taxes or some shit. *crosses fingers*
That just happened.