The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 9.5.12

September 5th, 2012 // 535 Comments

“Justin’s are way bigger,” thought Selena.

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where someone really should have told Frank Langella that Scientology would have gladly arranged this sort of thing for him behind closed doors. We’ve also got Thor‘s wife needing to drop Jessica Simpson a line, this Jude Law pic that’s practically leaping into your photoshop, and a post-op Brooke Shields looking exactly like the kind of dude you’d want backing you up in a fight.

Today’s Final Five couldn’t bench press you, isn’t elderly, and has legitimate screen credits. I no longer recognize this place,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Fran Drescher Tight Dress Bachelorette Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Fran has definitely put on some years and some flesh. But I think she’s still cute. Beautiful mouth. She wouldn’t be able to laugh or use her voice if one were to keep it stuffed with penis.

  2. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s been in training so she can go kick the shit out of Tom Cruise.

  3. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Never been too fond of cheese, but she could definitely get me to eat some Brie.

  4. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet he “scarfs” down whatever’s in that box.

  5. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    simultaneously each photographer got a “side boob” shot.

  6. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    qwerty
    Commented on this photo:

    She is scaring some big-breasted women about getting old.

  7. Fran Drescher Tight Dress Bachelorette Premiere
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    She badly needs a heroin habit.

  8. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    “After seeing this picture, I was glad as fuck we got off the island young.”

    -Christopher Atkins

  9. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    She has hand-job lips.

  10. Jeremy Irons Magenta Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Boots The Words Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever, man. He’s earned the right.

  11. Jamie Lee Curtis Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    I totally, absolutely, and enthusiastically still would. With gusto and abandon. Repeatedly.

  12. Jennifer Nicole Lee Butt Cheeks Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m in doubt here. When you pair “trying too hard” with “epically succeeding at it”, is there still room for some snark?

  13. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Love.
    Boner-laced love.

  14. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    When having sex with her, I imagine that rather than sucking on her nipples, you instinctively try to blow air into them.

  15. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    I assume the bag carries the batteries for the glove.

  16. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    rawfodog
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve always wondered what she’d look like wearing women’s clothes for once.

  17. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    put It In
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Brock Shields

  18. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    mummtyone
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re in VENICE! Where are you?

  19. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    But she's right...
    Commented on this photo:

    I have no idea if Selena Gomez has any talent since I’ve never bothered to see her in anything but she looks like a pedophile’s fantasy. She’s 20 years old but can pass for 12 or younger like in this photo.
    Hey, old men! Here’s your new Lolita! And you she hangs out with another very young looking girl who goes by the name Justin.

  20. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Reece
    Commented on this photo:

    I understand that balls drop when you get older but I had no idea they become multi-colored…must be the years of drug use

  21. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky The GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew you could turn the Hammer of Thor into a hot chick.

  22. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    All he’s missing is the protective plastic cover and he’d be wearing my Grandmothers couch.

  23. Fran Drescher Tight Dress Bachelorette Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Turns out black isn’t as slimming as women think.

  24. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    IT’S LIKE RAAAIIINNN on your wedding day…
    ITS THE GOOD ADVIIIIISSE that you just didn’t take.
    And who would have thought it’d be don’t wear skirt.

  25. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    cock little
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wow when I grow up may body may do that too???”

  26. Jeremy Irons Magenta Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Boots The Words Premiere
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeremy looked the way Meryl Streep’s skeleton would look if you forced it to walk around a party being nice to everyone.

  27. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell Tara Reid to just go away

  28. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come at me bro”

  29. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey look, Annie’s Boobs got a night off from the Animal Practice set

  30. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL this pic made me laugh..

  31. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Dusty Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit, someone let Janice Dickinson out again.

  32. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope… she’s a nice lady… (response to comments) and people will love her forever, partially because she is a “gay” icon. She just is. I don’t listen to her, I don’t follow her, I can’t tell you a thing she has done, other than being gay… and that’s okay. I’m a “gay mom” and she is just one of those people all the gays love… It’s just how it is.

  33. RJ Mitte The Words Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “The look of surprise is the youthful look?” Quote: Holy Man.

  34. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky The GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    ….(dude is thinking…): “and I will shag you next!

  35. Jude Law Scruffy Beard Anna Karenina Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m never sure what to think of dudes curls. I think if that stuff grew out it would be everywhere. Either that or he’s using too much moose.

  36. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like my belly dance teacher at the start of warm ups… Just the body posture. Shoulders back, come on girls hold on!

  37. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    They will never be big enough. That’s what she thinks, I’m standing by that. …and no Peter, I don’t have anything better to do this afternoon. :)
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/06/Spirt bear9 copy-340_329.jpg[/img]

  38. Jamie Lee Curtis Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    She walks like a woman who bats for both and loves every minute of it… I’m just saying.

  39. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    ChickenHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! Dakota Fanning looks hot as a brunette!

  40. Frank Langella Jake Schreier
    journalschism
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t care how hard you push my head, I don’t go where Whoopi went.”

  41. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    jasper
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘I think I lost my appetite.’-Walter Junior

  42. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    Nate
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is that dude? A retired athlete of some sort?

  43. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s just about perfect and I imagine her anus is too.

  44. RJ Mitte The Words Premiere
    Guest
    Commented on this photo:

    I love his character (haven’t seen the most recent episodes) but he has a softer appeal to me, since he actually does suffer from a crippling disease and is still an incredibly talented, attractive professional. Kudos to him.

    • Matt

      Well at least you’re honest about your prejudice. I suppose if he didn’t have a mild form of the disease you’d be crawling up his ass like SHKYLER.

  45. Jude Law Scruffy Beard Anna Karenina Premiere
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nope. Tie’s not on too tight at all!”

  46. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are there are a lot of faces in the world… that look like this one?

    Same surgeon? Template?

  47. Peter Facinelli Chubby Man Boobs Shirtless
    Matt
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw, look at the way he’s covering himself. He’s kinda shy. I think it’s adorable.

  48. Jennifer Nicole Lee Butt Cheeks Tight Minidress
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    Her best side. Her… only best side.

  49. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    Gorgeous.

  50. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, a fucking pale brunette that doesn’t look like a zombie, a corpse, or a meth head.

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