The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 9.5.12

September 5th, 2012 // 535 Comments

“Justin’s are way bigger,” thought Selena.

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where someone really should have told Frank Langella that Scientology would have gladly arranged this sort of thing for him behind closed doors. We’ve also got Thor‘s wife needing to drop Jessica Simpson a line, this Jude Law pic that’s practically leaping into your photoshop, and a post-op Brooke Shields looking exactly like the kind of dude you’d want backing you up in a fight.

Today’s Final Five couldn’t bench press you, isn’t elderly, and has legitimate screen credits. I no longer recognize this place,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Anna Faris Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d bang her til she was retar- – - nevermind, too late.

  2. Jude Law Scruffy Beard Anna Karenina Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he on the set of Sherlock Homos, Game of Cornholes?

  3. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    The good news is her nose is like the 8th thing wrong with her body. The bad news is her nose is like the 8th thing wrong with her body.

  4. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    Lohan's Parole Officer
    Commented on this photo:

    One day Selena will get pass puberty and blossom into a real woman.

  5. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    lala
    Commented on this photo:

    Why bother wearing a top?

  6. Jamie Lee Curtis Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    If you’re in to anal, her poopchute is pre-enema’d for your enjoyment. Plus, she has a dick. So, there’s that. And tits.

  7. Pippa Middleton Butt Tight Dress US Open
    AmericansAreSuperior
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know why people think she has a great ass. Yeah, maybe for a british white girl……..

  8. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    Joaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    She wouldn’t be bad if she lost the fake tits, the makeup, the bad dye job, the granny waist, the painted on mom jeans, the flash dance leotard…

  9. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Mental health care finally has a face. Unfortunately, it’s this dude.

  10. Frank Langella Jake Schreier
    Lohan's Parole Officer
    Commented on this photo:

    Gees you two- get a room!

  11. RJ Mitte The Words Premiere
    Lohan's Parole Officer
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes I would do him!

  12. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t know who this is. But I’d like to make my balls bright red by spending a few hours engaged in vigorous teabaggery.

  13. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky The GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Lohan's Parole Officer
    Commented on this photo:

    I could wake up next to Chris Hemsworth every morning :)

  14. Jude Law Scruffy Beard Anna Karenina Premiere
    Lohan's Parole Officer
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m still relevant. See?”

  15. Beyonce Drunk On Yacht
    cagster
    Commented on this photo:

    Mummy’s going to watch her stories.

  16. Jennifer Nicole Lee Butt Cheeks Tight Minidress
    Lohan's Parole Officer
    Commented on this photo:

    Ka-Pow!!! Take that lil Selena Gomez.

  17. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy in the back pointing to his watch to remind her that her 15 minutes of fame are almost up.

  18. Jeremy Irons Magenta Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Boots The Words Premiere
    toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    Fonzie has come out of the closet

  19. Gisele Bundchen Bikini Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that fence there to keep people out or to keep them in?

  20. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    I know she is not that attractive, but I hear she gives a really good hand jo…..crap, nevermind.

  21. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    seriouslynow
    Commented on this photo:

    A tasty piece in a sea of horseshit. Love this chick.

  22. Pippa Middleton Butt Tight Dress US Open
    toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    Reducing a board can be done with a well-tuned hand plane but is a ton of work and full of ways to damage the board if you are not experineced. I would have the local lumber yard run it through their machine and be done with it. The charge usually isn’t bad and you wind up with a flat board with parallel sides.

  23. Gisele Bundchen Bikini Pregnant Belly
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like . . .

    . . .

    Gis got jizzed.

    ( •_•)

    ( •_•)>⌐■-■

    (⌐■_■)

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

  24. Frank Langella Jake Schreier
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Jake Schreier. Jake, take a bow…further…FURTHER…”

  25. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn! She is almost manly enough to be an honorary Nicole Brown Simpson sister. (too soon?)

  26. Frank Langella Jake Schreier
    eidnam
    Commented on this photo:

    …. and cue the blow job jokes.

  27. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    I there was a reason Selena Gomez freaked me out. SHE’S FROM INFORMATION RETRIEVAL! RUN!!!!!
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/05/MichaelPalin1Brazil03-340_189.jpg[/img]

  28. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Joaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she does inclines first and then flys… Hmm. Dumb bells or barbell?

  29. Anna Faris Nipples
    coyote
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t she just have a baby?

  30. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    coyote
    Commented on this photo:

    She look like Kris Jenner; AKA Kim K’s MOWanger

  31. Beyonce Drunk On Yacht
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a Beyonce Muppet?

  32. Peter Facinelli Chubby Man Boobs Shirtless
    BeakerV
    Commented on this photo:

    Dropped a hottie to become a nottie.

  33. Kate Walsh Huge Butt Private Practice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Uni-Ass

  34. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Tara Reid got pornified.

  35. Gisele Bundchen Bikini Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    “How far can you pull back?
    “How do you feel about Cleveland?”

    I know, someone used that recently. It just occurred to me again. :D

  36. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Grafikman
    Commented on this photo:

    Such perfect alabaster motorboatery and…-OMG!! MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN LIVES!!!

    Too soon?

  37. RJ Mitte The Words Premiere
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    WHY DON’T YOU JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY?

  38. Brandi Glanville Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    SMILE, nobody knows who you are!

  39. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Must have been one hell of a hand job.

  40. RJ Mitte The Words Premiere
    jasper
    Commented on this photo:

    “W-w-why do you gotta be such a BITCH?”

  41. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck this guy.

  42. Jude Law Scruffy Beard Anna Karenina Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is a chimney sweep extra from a Marry Poppins reboot.

  43. Jamie Lee Curtis Nipples
    celebsloveme
    Commented on this photo:

    This woman is fabulous. A Fish Called Wanda was amazing and she was perfect in it.

  44. Beyonce Drunk On Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    “The bastards won’t let me drive the damn boat just because i’ve been drinking since last Tuesday…sheesh!

  45. Amy Childs Cleavage Boutique Opening
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason, when I saw this pic I had the sudden urge to take a shit. I’m not sure if those two events are connected but there it is.

  46. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky The GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    On a scale of 1 to 10, that woman is about a 14.

  47. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Jee-zussss…that photographer in the back wearing the red shirt looks like he’s about to have a stroke if he doesn’t get a good shot.

  48. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Such a lovely smile.

  49. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Speaking of reconstructive surgery…

  50. Jennifer Nicole Lee Butt Cheeks Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet Bleeding Jeebus, look at those amazing legs! Perfect for ear-warmers.

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