The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 9.5.12

September 5th, 2012 // 535 Comments

“Justin’s are way bigger,” thought Selena.

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where someone really should have told Frank Langella that Scientology would have gladly arranged this sort of thing for him behind closed doors. We’ve also got Thor‘s wife needing to drop Jessica Simpson a line, this Jude Law pic that’s practically leaping into your photoshop, and a post-op Brooke Shields looking exactly like the kind of dude you’d want backing you up in a fight.

Today’s Final Five couldn’t bench press you, isn’t elderly, and has legitimate screen credits. I no longer recognize this place,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Now everyone act surprised that she went down on the carpet.

  2. Amy Childs Cleavage Boutique Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    Death by motorboat…. Challenge Accepted!

  3. Beyonce Drunk On Yacht
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “People’s 2012 World’s Most Beautiful Woman” – must mean blind people.

    • Bigalkie

      I wouldn’t imagine that the million in cash that landed on the desk of the People Magazine publishers desk had any influence on that ranking. She’s average looking with a bad body.

  4. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanna do very naughty things to her. Unspeakable naughty things.

  5. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Would d- nah, I can’t even joke about this one.

  6. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s he going dressed like that, a Renaissance Fair? They have those in Maui?

  7. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have said she was hungry. I see they brought her a whole extra roll of carpet to munch! (Snare drum sound…Thank you, thank you very much, I’ll be here all week!)

  8. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    When she was called a carpet muncher we had no idea she litterlly did it.

  9. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    what a classy broad

  10. Kym Johnson Cleavage Crossed Eyes The Words Premiere
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I spell it with a “y” so you’ll know I’m unique!

  11. Jeremy Irons Magenta Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Boots The Words Premiere
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This pic somehow manages to be creepier than the one of him being caught mid-felony.

  12. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I really have to admire her… Getting into women’s soccer at her age is truly inspiring..

  13. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    “I want those when I grow up” – Selena Gomez

    “Me too” – Justin Bieber

  14. RJ Mitte The Words Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m what Ashton Kutcher would look like if he was retarde–oops..nevermind.

    • Meltz

      Nevermind a mean-spirited comment maybe. It’s unfortunate that you went there… I hope one day you’ll be in a place where you take offense to this type of comment as well. It’s a comment I used to make myself and am proud to say no longer.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        somebody’s kid came out retarded and now they are a better person.

      • Contusion

        The word “retarded” simply means less advanced in mental, physical, or social development than is usual for one’s age. It’s not the N word. Get your panties back out of the bunch they are in.

      • That’s all fine and good, but you’re still visiting thesuperficial.com, so I don’t think you’re that much superior to me!

        I apologize to any retarded people that may have read my comments and not realized that they should be offended. Thank heaven you were there to explain it to them!

      • FuManchu

        out. standing. retort.

      • kimmykimkim

        Make fun of retards and you’ll get one of your very own. ‘Cause god’s just a retarded dick like that.

      • Billebuoy

        Retard.

      • Cuban

        God, you all are the retarded ones, RJ Mitte has mild Cerebral Palsy that he manages to keep in check pretty well and during non-Breaking Bad life you can’t even tell he has CP. He exaggerates the symptoms to show what someone with a more severe case of CP would look like.

        This particular picture, he just looks retarded in the non-mental/physical sense, it’s just a stupid dopey ass smile.

    • walterwhite

      The actor has cerebral palsy, you moron.

    • Leo

      A cursory examination of the dictionary will reveal to you that there’s no such word as “nevermind”. Perhaps it’s you who’s retar- oh wait, sorry, never mind.

      • Ah…but my quote is what he was saying…so are YOU saying that a retarded person isn’t smart enough to use the phrase “never mind” correctly? Shame on you for being so shallow and unthinking…you make me sick!

        “Ha, HA” — Nelson
        “SUCK IT” — Me

      • kimmykimkim

        Dictionaries are retarded.

  15. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I want.

  16. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky The GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Liam: “Chris, dude. We should totally swap…”
    Chris: “No.”

  17. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    Commented on this photo:

    “sister is the new mother and she’s lookin “HAWT”.

  18. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky The GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Meanwhile, his brother is sitting in a trailer park somewhere trying to explain to a meth dealer that his fiance is good for the money.

  19. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    Pancake tits and see-through do not go together.

  20. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Look pal, here’s a dollar. I don’t want any of your damned literature, okay?

  21. Beyonce Drunk On Yacht
    RisingDragonFist
    Commented on this photo:

    Corky in blackface? Is it not offensive cause he’s we-tod-ed?

  22. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    His fashion sense is less “Livin’ on the Edge”, and more “Crazy”.

  23. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    Ellen… rolling in carpet… sounds about right.

  24. Jeremy Irons Magenta Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Boots The Words Premiere
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    When exactly did this guy turn into one of his characters?

  25. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure that Pirates of the Caribbean is doing screen tests today.

  26. Peter Facinelli Chubby Man Boobs Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    So THAT’S where Jenni’s weight went.

  27. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, she’s even sexier now that we she was 12.

  28. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    What a weak minded sissy she is for strapping that contraption onto her broken hand! Back in the day, if one of us broke a hand, we’d gnaw it off at the wrist, and cauterize the open wound by dumping the gunpowder from a shotgun shell on it and lighting it up! Man up there, Blossom!

  29. Jennifer Nicole Lee Butt Cheeks Tight Minidress
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    If I wanted to see a post op tranny, I’d go visit my friend’s father in prison.

  30. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Newsflash, when they look like that, hide ‘em! I’m a middle aged guy, and there’s a reason I don’t wear half shirts!

  31. Steven Tyler Baggy Hippie Pants
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad Clown

  32. Amy Childs Cleavage Boutique Opening
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    No, just fuck no.

  33. Nancy DellOlio Saggy Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, ma. Put that shit away.

  34. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    First time in over a year she’s been allowed off the set of “The Soup.” I bet she still whores “Community” even in her sleep.

  35. Mayim Bialik Cast Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s REALLY putting effort into her Big Bang characterization!

  36. Jeremy Irons Magenta Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Boots The Words Premiere
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice Fairy Boots

  37. Peter Facinelli Chubby Man Boobs Shirtless
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    He must not be on a vampire vegetarian diet anymore.

  38. Fran Drescher Tight Dress Bachelorette Premiere
    Emma Watson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    oh crap! i used to jerk off to that. Cindy where are YOUUU?

  39. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    No clue who this chick is and she’s doing a shitty job of making me want to care.

  40. Peter Facinelli Chubby Man Boobs Shirtless
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    Also… Bitch Tits! I like shouting that at my husband from time to time.

  41. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like she could take a solid punch right to the jaw from Klitschko without batting an eye.

  42. RJ Mitte The Words Premiere
    TooCoo
    Commented on this photo:

    PANCAKES!

  43. Ashley Benson Cleavage Selena Gomez
    gnarla
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly though, IS that Selena Gomez or is it a little girl?

  44. Ellen DeGeneres Star On Walk Of Fame
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    And this is how we scissor….

  45. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Another Katie Price beauty school grad…

  46. Fran Drescher Tight Dress Bachelorette Premiere
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    I heard she shook her arm flab and the Dead Sea Scrolls fell out.

  47. Nicola McLean Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    32G, you say?

  48. Alison Brie Cleavage GQ Men Of The Year Awards
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she one of the prizes?

  49. Brooke Shields Bachelorette Premiere
    Sven Golly
    Commented on this photo:

    Wanna feel super pretty again, Brooke? Go stand next to Fran Drescher.

  50. Pippa Middleton Butt Tight Dress US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm… where is Doctor Botanus when you need him? I’m sure he’d have something to say here.

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